<p>“It only leads to regrets after many years of marriage when you wonder what sleeping with a lot of others would’ve been like.”</p>
<p>Gross. I have no intention of ever “sleeping with a lot of others.” Especially not in such a short amount of time as the undergraduate years. I’m sure some people would say that you missed out on the chance to go wild by not drinking and it doesn’t seem as though you regret it. That was your personal decision. There are many people who make a personal decision not to to have sex with many different people and do not regret it a bit. It does not mean they aren’t ready to get married.</p>
<p>nyu: the advantage of buying a house rather than renting involves tax deductions and the increase in equity while holding the payment steady. Why would one party want to lose out on that? Both people would have to buy houses and they would not be able to buy ones as nice as they could get by pooling their money.</p>
<p>I actually agree with futurenyustudent. Seperation of assets and prenups are an essential to reducing marital conflicts. And I dont see why suggesting that your spouse be independent with their life is wrong. Independence should not end with marriage.</p>
<p>Married my college BF right out of college. Big mistake. We’ll call that a starter marriage. :)</p>
<p>Have been married to current husband for 20 years and will offer two insights… live together first and for a long time. Make the wedding very secondary to making a marriage. And don’t have kids before you’re 30. Get a little life under your belt.</p>
<p>It’s called the law of diminishing returns. The difference between a $600k house and a $800k house is much greater than the difference between a $1.5 million and a $1.7 million house. Once you get past $1 million, diminishing returns kick in, big time. At that point, you’re better off getting a second house and renting it out.</p>
<p>Money and love are absolutely mutually exclusive. As such nothing good can come out of it. It just shouldn’t be done. It’s like going to a tier 2 law school-it’s just a bad idea. Just don’t do it. Just don’t.</p>
<p>As for accounting, it would be some kind of a quid pro quo arrangement: I fly out to see you this year, you fly out to see me next year, I buy the couch and you buy the TV, that kind of thing.</p>
<p>Each spouse’s life is equally important. You’re married, not attached at the hip.</p>
<p>Don’t you just love it when your thread gets hijacked?</p>
<p>I mean, this thread was supposed to be a place where somebody could post whether or not they met their future spouse in college. Then someone or some people come along and change the thread entirely just so they can express their own personal views about the legitimacy of marriage.</p>
<p>Hey people, start your own thread–quit hijacking other people’s thread–and if you have political or social opinions to state that have nothing to do with the “college experience”, why not find a website that caters to such opinions instead of posting here. This isn’t a political site or a sociological site, this is an educational experience site.</p>
<p>Lets be honest, how many times in college does sex in an uncommitted relationship not involve alcohol? </p>
<p>The people that wonder what “sleeping with a lot of others” is like are generally insecure people, that are always looking for the next best/new thing. I have been with the same girl for 2 and a half years, active for 2 of those. I know what I have, and I love what I have. I don’t need to “go out and experience” things to know how good I have it. After high school, being committed has nothing to do with age… it has to do with how mature someone is.</p>
<p>"This has nothing to do with drinking. Sowing wild oats has nothing to do with drinking. Not to me. I went through four years of college without touching so much as a drop of alcohol. I’m talking about SEX. Committing yourself to one person in undergrad is way too young. It only leads to regrets after many years of marriage when you wonder what sleeping with a lot of others would’ve been like.</p>
<p>Use high school, college and the first few years after college to get that stuff out of your system. Then you can go to grad school happily looking for that lifetime spouse/partner. "</p>
<p>This is the silliest thing I have yet read.</p>
<p>Quick story , which shows how sometimes chaos , or inintended consequences can be good:</p>
<p>my wife thoroughly researched where she wanted to go - was going to do journalism at Indiana University. She applied there, was accepted, paid for her housing, packed up the car from chicago, went there, but she was told that the uni over booked the class and there was no on campus housing, so they offered her something in town in a temporary basement like place. My wife did not want to live like this so she came back home and decided to temporarily do one yr at UIC in chicago, a commuter college then, and near where she lived, so she’d save some money, too. then go back to IU soph yr.</p>
<p>She met me in a freshman physics class, and stayed on at UIC and graduated w/ honors and went to U of Iowa for her masters, and 23 yrs and three kids later, we’re still together.</p>
<p>If IU had dorm housing, we’d never have met.</p>
<p>I believe that there should be a period of sexual freedom and expression in a person’s life before he or she settles down with “the one,” or someone who he/she THINKS is “the one.” For a lot of kids, this might be some part of their undergraduate degree. I was an unfortunately stupid child and so I got most of my “expressing” done in high school, and I’m now happy to be with one person and have no plans of relinquishing him anytime soon.</p>
<p>Okay calcruzer, I’ll stop the side thread, but I actually find nyu’s ideas interesting. I would like to meet him in 10 years and see if life turns out as he thought it would.</p>
<p>My oldest brother married his high school sweetheart at 22 and divorced her 18 years (and two kids) later. My sister dated (and eventually lived with) her boyfriend for 5 years before she got married at 30; she got divorced 15 years later (with two kids). My other brother got married at 29 and is still married 25 years later(with no kids). </p>
<p>I posted on page two of this thread - I met my husband in college, got married at 24, had my children at age 34 and 36 and I’m still happily married 28 years later. </p>
<p>I think you can plan for your future, but you can’t predict it.</p>
<p>Not only did I meet my DH in college, both of H’s brothers met their wives in college. OTOH, my sister-in-law met her husband in a bar. All of us are still married, between 13 and 24 years later.</p>
<p>I really hope I meet my husband in college, I’ve always wanted to get married young but the other day I was talking to one of my teachers who warned me strictly against it and said that she did not know one couple who got married in college that is still together. Reading some of the posts on this thread was really nice, cuz I got to see that some marriages do last even if the people met when they were really young!</p>
<p>I met the future Mr PMK in college and we’ve been married for 21 years. One BIL met his furture wife in high school, the other in college. My only sibling met her future husband when they were both attending grad school but they actually met working in the same store (she hired him and was his manager…scandal!)</p>
<p>My parents and my in-laws met in high school, married 42 and 47 years respectively.</p>
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<p>Beautifully said.</p>
<p>One of my very best friends is single at 40, never married, never lived with anyone and is one of the happiest people I know. She thought she’d get married and have kids but it didn’t happen. It’s irritating when people tell me they feel sorry for her…feel sorry for what? That she loves her career? Has had the freedom to live where she wants and do what she wants? That she lives a balanced life? I feel sad for people who are sad, not for people who are happy inspite of not following the “script.”</p>
<p>natashashah81 - My husband and I married the summer before he started med school. Everyone said we were nuts. When he was interviewing at schools, every doctor he interviewed with told him not to get married. My boss kept asking me if I was sure he wasn’t going to leave as soon as he was done with school. They were all wrong.</p>
<p>The “right” time to meet your spouse is whenever you meet the right person. Could be college, 20’s, 30’s… or even your childhood sweetheart. There’s no hard and fast rule. Some people are way too immature to get into a committed relationship in college, or even in their 20’s. Others are more settled and have already figured out what they want. Or are flexible enough to know that life can change, they can change, but they and their spouse can change together and grow together. </p>
<p>H and I married at 23, had our kids at 26 and 29. We will have an empty nest next fall at the age of 48. We wanted to raise our kids knowing that we would be young enough to be able to travel and enjoy ourselves after they left. On the other hand, other couples we know who married and had kids later in life were able to save more money, have nicer/larger houses than we do, etc. Neither way is right or wrong. It’s what works for each person & each couple.</p>