<p>Heres my first stab at the classic under 500 words "book effect" essay. Ive got my senior year to improve on it, so any suggestions to improving the effectiveness is appreciated. am taking creative writing next year to further help writing</p>
<p>Before his fade into reclusion, Jerome David Salinger gave to mankind some of the most representative texts of modern society, from the widely acclaimed Catcher in the Rye to the crowing achievement of beat literature, Franny and Zooey. A lesser known text titled Seymour: An Introduction, however, has given a significant amount of insight into my own life through striking parallels between the life of Seymour Glass and my own.<br>
In the earliest portions of the novel, the reader is introduced to Seymours childhood participation in the radio quiz show Its A Wise Child, beginning him on a lifelong quest in the name of learning. Preceding his enlistment into military service in World War II at the age of 21, he had already completed his graduate coursework and found employment as a college professor. Since the dawn of my intellectual awareness, I, as well, have possessed an unquenchable desire for the acclamation of knowledge, complemented by a near photographic memory and strong skills in analysis. The pursuit of academic inquiry constitutes in itself the vast majority of my life focus. For me, to learn is to live, there is no other way.
However, much like Seymour, my devotion to subjects not popular with my peers has led to trouble, on often occasions, with socializing and being a part of mainstream society, as I do not relate to the most cherished facets of modern culture. Being it in an anti-social tendency, my mindset has often led me to periods of depression from my hidden desire to be just like everyone else, leading to numerous visits to various psychiatrists who in the course of 2 years and several thousand dollars in medical bills discovered absolutely nothing new, aside from my IQ score.
Seymours chaotic demise into suicide in the ending portions of the novel truly scare me, as I once contemplated the very action since a young age, thinking to myself whats the point of knowing anything when no one cares. Luckily, the words contained in Seymour: An Introduction and a conversion to Christianity have combined to show the folly in ending a life early. Truly, it is my belief that something worthwhile to the existence of mankind lies somewhere within me. It would thus be a cruel shame to waste my entire lifes journey all in the slit of a wrist.
Seymour: An Introduction, most notably, led me to the realization that a mind is nothing when used simply for self-gratification. Adhering to such a mindset would be no better than buying a birthday gift for someone and never giving it to them. Certainly, some of the most brilliant concepts of our generation have never been exposed due to an attitude much like this. For years, I myself was included in this category of hidden potential. Be it that you allow me to join in the academic community of ________ University, this underutilized potential will shift into earth-shattering contributions.</p>
<p>beginning him...? that is confusing.
a near photographic memory? u seem kind of full of yourself
You do not need complicated words to impress your evaluator. Some is ok, but it is a little too flowery in my opinion.</p>
<p>actually, its gramatically correct, by a very small margin. ill consider revising the mentioned sections. yet again, yalls comments are appreciated. im here to listen to whatever input yall can offer.</p>
<p>by the way, the reason for the self-gratifying comments in the essay was a suggestion by an english teacher. she might be crazy for all i know. god only knows whats going in the minds of former professors at swarthmore/yankees in general. she told us to sell ourselves out like a cheezy infomercial</p>
<p>Just think about the other side of the coin. Play Adcom for a min. If some kid wrote an essay about their wonderful IQ and photographic memory, wouldnt you wanna just flip?</p>
<p>ur point is considered. i come from a kinda outspoken area of the country, so im not suprised arrogant comments found their way in. luckily, i still have a while to write the real things.</p>
<p>Camper, first of all i think it's great you are doing this so early and that you are asking for help. Remember that nobody here has a formula for the perfect essay. We all only have opinions. Some of our opinions may sound harsh, but you asked.
That said, here's my opinion: Your essay seems a bit analytical. Although it is basically well-written and captures what you think of yourself, it doesn't really express your PASSION for learning. Although you mention some emotional issues, you don't describe how you grew from the experience. At the end, you mention "this underutilized potential will shift into earth-shattering contributions." I don't feel that.<br>
And if you are going to use a literary work as your foundation, you need some relevant quotes.
My overall advice is to write from your heart and not so much from your brain.
My daughter said I could email you a couple of her essays. PM me if you want to see them.</p>
<p>I read this as: you are saying you are so brilliant you contemplated suicide because no one appreciated you but if you go to their college you will be able to use all your potential for the good of mankind. Your doctors have not helped you at all but this book made you realize that suicide would be depriving said mankind of your genius.
Seems way over the top and incredibly negative to me.</p>
<p>Yea congratulations on violating like every rule in the book on writing a college application essay. Tell me again why you think adcoms would accept an applicant who has not only suffered from a mental illness but also a self-confessed anti socialite, and then centers their essays on said topics? Use your essays to display a unique perspective you have on life, or an experience that sets you apart from the applicant pool. Positive, up beat good things are what we're shooting for.</p>
<p>Hey people, there's no reason for criticism since it's the first draft, it will definetly improve. My suggestions are to get away from the serious and conceited tone. From reading the paragraphs I felt that you were kinda bragging or pushing it. I would try to maybe shorten the first part where you described J.D. Salinger. Overall, I think its a good start, but try to make it more unique and less cliche. Good Luck, and keep revising, it will be worth it at the end.</p>
Before his fade into reclusion, Jerome David Salinger gave to mankind some of the most representative texts of modern society, from the widely acclaimed Catcher in the Rye to the crowing achievement of beat literature, Franny and Zooey. A lesser known text titled Seymour: An Introduction, however, has given a significant amount of insight into my own life through striking parallels between the life of Seymour Glass and my own.
In the earliest portions of the novel, the reader is introduced to Seymours childhood participation in the radio quiz show Its A Wise Child, beginning him on a lifelong quest in the name of learning. Preceding his enlistment into military service in World War II at the age of 21, he had already completed his graduate coursework and found employment as a college professor. Since the dawn of my intellectual awareness, I, as well, have possessed an unquenchable desire for the acclamation of knowledge, complemented by a near photographic memory and strong skills in analysis. The pursuit of academic inquiry constitutes in itself the vast majority of my life focus. For me, to learn is to live, there is no other way.
However, much like Seymour, my devotion to subjects not popular with my peers has led to trouble, on often occasions, with socializing and being a part of mainstream society, as I do not relate to the most cherished facets of modern culture. Being it in an anti-social tendency, my mindset has often led me to periods of depression from my hidden desire to be just like everyone else, leading to numerous visits to various psychiatrists who in the course of 2 years and several thousand dollars in medical bills discovered absolutely nothing new, aside from my IQ score.
Seymours chaotic demise into suicide in the ending portions of the novel truly scare me, as I once contemplated the very action since a young age, thinking to myself whats the point of knowing anything when no one cares. Luckily, the words contained in Seymour: An Introduction and a conversion to Christianity have combined to show the folly in ending a life early. Truly, it is my belief that something worthwhile to the existence of mankind lies somewhere within me. It would thus be a cruel shame to waste my entire lifes journey all in the slit of a wrist.
Seymour: An Introduction, most notably, led me to the realization that a mind is nothing when used simply for self-gratification. Adhering to such a mindset would be no better than buying a birthday gift for someone and never giving it to them. Certainly, some of the most brilliant concepts of our generation have never been exposed due to an attitude much like this. For years, I myself was included in this category of hidden potential. Be it that you allow me to join in the academic community of ________ University, this underutilized potential will shift into earth-shattering contributions.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>oh wait, this is a terrible essay, no one will want to plagiarize it. it violates pretty much every cliche and autoreject rule out there.</p>
<p>mental illness= bad
suicide= autoreject material
anti-social= very bad
arrogance= autoreject material</p>
<p>burn your paper quickly, there are no redeeming qualities</p>
<p>have the teachers who are writing your recs "sell you like a cheesy infomercial". never do it yourself. its worth nothing coming from someone who isnt objective.</p>