<p>I have rambled and revised for the majority of tonight and am looking for some direction on this essay. Any help would be appreciated.</p>
<p>After realizing that becoming a superhero would require much more radioactive exposure than I am comfortable with, I decided to focus my efforts for humanity on something with a slightly smaller prognosis for horribly irreversible mutations: medicine. I believe that being a doctor requires magnanimity in time, effort, and heart. Being a doctor is not about fulfilling a dream, continuing the family practice, or discovering the newest vaccine. Being a doctor means sacrificing oneself for the slightest needs of others. A doctor is a servant of his fellow man. A doctor is merely a healer.
I want to be a doctor because I am a faithless narcissist. I want to know that my parents are proud of me. I want to see the smile on a man’s face when I tell him that his son will be alright. I want to be assured of my ability to assist the living and rescue the dying. I want to revel in the inalienable right to pursue happiness. I want to be able to justify these cravings as derivatives of self-sacrifice. I also want to be a doctor to selflessly help those in need. I want to be able to work without recognition nor appreciation. I want to be a good person.
Upon forgoing the details of motive or compensation for becoming a doctor, I probably came off as insufferably sanguine or practically ignorant. Then, in realizing my own self-seeking goals, I seem similar to histrionic teenagers who call shame upon themselves in search for reassuring pity. The probable prejudice, formed on a wisp of pretentiousness, toward a jejune college applicant demonstrates the failure on my part . I understand that my principles and desires are foundationless in so brief an exposition of my philosophy and my actions have fallen far short of any standard of philanthropy, but I am convicted that conviction is a start (which leads to yet another intangible expression). My faults, honest and disappointing though they are, are mirrored in the intrinsic, ineffable qualities that should embody a doctor.
Recently, I read a story about an Australian man named Don Ritchie who lived near the country’s most popular suicide point. Every day he, retired, would watch for “jumpers” and, with sincerity and humility, invite them into his home. This man’s actions, from a perspective of a aspirant physician, are not impressive due to the fact that he saved over 150 people, but that he has done it for over 4 decades, lived with the deaths of hundreds more, and believes in his work, not the results.
The reasons I want to be a doctor have stated have probably repeated across thousands of these applications, but I believe that to truly appreciate and practice medicine one has to value it above the acts that it entails; however, it should not be practiced due solely to appreciation but in compassion and sedulity as well. A desire transcends a motive and a goal trumps a reason. My goal is to understand medicine and not just comply with its virtues but live them, because even if I miss the stars, I’ll still land on the moon.</p>
<p>I want to be assured of my ability to assist the living and to rescue the dying.</p>
<p>For the second paragraph, I know you were trying to use repetition to make an emphasis, but to me, it’s just WAYYY to much. I start to get annoyed with all the “I”</p>
<p>My faults, as honest and disappointing as they may be, are mirrored in the intrinsic, ineffable qualities that should embody a doctor. </p>
<p>The reasons I want to be a doctor (have stated have probably)?<–sounds funky to me. repeated across thousands of these applications</p>
<p>My goal is to understand medicine and not just comply with its virtues but also to live them, because even if I miss the stars, I’ll still land on the moon.</p>