<p>So the first week is over. What are the first impressions, good or bad? Classes, houses, rooms and roommates, food, disussions, debates or even kick-boxing (which my D has taken up this semester!!!!!), whatever you wish to share.
And welcome to all firsties. May your years at Smith be a wonderful experience.</p>
<p>I’m smitten with Smith! Everything is better than i ever could have imagined.
It’s lots of work, but it’s sooo worth it!</p>
<p>My D is a transfer student (class 2013) and is having a blast.</p>
<p>I’m not loving it. And as far as I’ve seen, I’m the only one on campus who feels that way.</p>
<p>Phanatic, what’s wrong? Not in love with the academics? Don’t like the campus atmosphere? Wrong house?</p>
<p>Sorry to hear that Phanatic. What’s not clicking?</p>
<p>I know you probably feel a little isolated right now phanatic but trust me, you are not alone. Some people take to it right away. Some people don’t. You’d be surprised how many people probably feel a lot like you, a little unsure, not quite in love, and maybe wishing they had someone to talk to about it. Hang in there, it’s only the start of the semester, you’ll more than likely find your way in time.</p>
<p>Phanatic, I’m so sorry you’re not happy. I hope you can be comfortable enough to tell us what’s not working for you.</p>
<p>Phanatic: please don’t think we will jump on top of you for not liking Smith. We all know that Smith isn’t for everyone. You’ve been around this forum long enough for us to care about your experience, good or bad. I’d like to think that we’d all be supportive, not critical.</p>
<p>The first year in college is always a transition. Some people realize that they chose the wrong school, while others take longer to find their place in this one. It can be tough if you’re surrounded by people who seem incredibly happy and who don’t seem to have trouble making the transition. Just remember: appearances can be deceiving. </p>
<p>Even if you choose not to share, know that we’re rooting for your happiness, however you find it.</p>
<p>{{{phanatic}}} maybe you are homesick? It is not unusual for a young person to struggle with that a bit.</p>
<p>I’ve had some homesick moments (the strangest being that I get a tinge when I see my mom’s car model, of all things; the non-strange being when I see dogs, or professors with their kids), but overall I like it a lot. Almost everyone I’ve met seems friendly and interesting, my classes are cool (one is a LOT of work, but I knew that going into it), and while my house seems too loud on weekend nights I’ve figured out ways to work around that.</p>
<p>re: homesick</p>
<p>One could have plotted D’s phone calls home during the first six weeks and had a nearly perfect example of exponential decay.</p>
<p>We knew things had flipped when we called her and she said, “It’s great to hear from you but I’m really busy and tomorrow won’t be any better…how about I call you on Sunday?”</p>
<p>Oh, you are all so wonderful. I didn’t expect to get so many responses to such a short post! 
</p>
<p>Well, there are a lot of factors at work here. Some of them are entirely impossible to change–for example, I’m awfully far from home and New England, though gorgeous, is a culture shock to a Midwestern girl like me. I decided to leave my hometown and my home state, both of which I love dearly, just for the sake of leaving, and now I’m wondering why I saw such urgency in doing so. I like getting out and seeing new places, but I think the Midwest–especially Michigan–is where I belong. </p>
<p>Some of the other factors are things that I can likely improve if I go about it the right way. My roommate, for example, and I are not a good match. She’s the louder, go-out-and-party type; my idea of a party is Chinese food and marathons of British shows with friends. I follow the Benjamin Franklin mantra of early to bed and early to rise; she barely crawls out of bed in time to make it to her nine o’clock class. As for the house, I do think this might be just a so-so match, as well; some of the seniors have been incredibly sweet to me, and the first years largely get along well, but a lot of the others in the house do not make the new students feel very welcome, which is disappointing. </p>
<p>Then there are classes. I really like all of my professors; one of them in particular seems born to teach. The rest are also quite spectacular in their own ways and I am, for the most part, enjoying attending their courses, even though this point of the year is devoted to reviewing things I’ve learned previously. The homework, of course, is overwhelming, not in its difficulty, but rather in its sheer volume. I’m a STRIDE student and it absolutely boggles my mind how I might even attempt to balance classes, homework, extracurricular activities, and my research. </p>
<p>Finally, I’ve been disappointed by several things in the past few weeks, which certainly doesn’t help me to feel like I made the right choice. These range from the trivial to the personally devastating. On the less important side is the fact that I can’t seem to manage a good night’s sleep in my very small room; more important is the fact that I didn’t manage to get into the choir. I’ve defined myself as a musician for quite some time, and my last choir was a professional one, an affiliate of a major symphony orchestra. My conductor said I had an excellent ear, too. Unfortunately, I lack confidence in my abilities, and when I entered the audition here, I completely froze up. It was the worst audition of my life, and now I’m kind of facing an identity crisis. I’ve looked into other activities, such as the newspaper, to fill the gap, but they don’t stir in me the same passion that choir does. </p>
<p>So, that’s the situation I’m facing with Smith at the present time. I am certainly extraordinarily homesick and that will, I suppose, pass–though I hope it does not take my love of Michigan with it. Part of me would be disappointed in myself for giving up at the semester, but most of me wants nothing more than to acknowledge that I’ve made a mistake and transfer somewhere closer to home. </p>
<p>I do apologize for the length of this post! Sometimes I ramble.</p>
<p>Phanatic, your poor roommate match is not the end of the world! Apply for a room change and you might get one when the housing freeze is up, and then you might even end up in a different house that is a much better match.</p>
<p>There are lots of people at Smith who have the same idea of a party as you. I know I spent a night with one of my friends eating takeout and watching the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you didn’t get into the chorus, but there are other musical opportunities at Smith you now have the chance to explore. Is it too late to try out for a capella? There’s also a musical theater group if you don’t mind the low budget productions. </p>
<p>If you do decide to leave, it’s absolutely okay, especially if you’re miserable. (You shouldn’t be miserable.) But with housing especially, you never know if there’s a better fit, and I’d absolutely try for a housing change. Not everyone ends up in their perfect house on the first try. I have a friend who lived in four houses in her four years (from one month to two years in each one) and she ended up graduating with her senior house, which she only lived in that one year. Another friend was HP of the house she lived in junior and senior years.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Phanatic, I was 16 when my family moved from Michigan to Massachusetts. It’s more of a culture shock than most people would think. Smith must be an even bigger jolt, because you’ve got a lot of blunt folks from NY and NJ to go along with the New Englanders (whose accents make them seem harsher than they really are).</p>
<p>Just keep in mind that almost everything is uncomfortable when it’s new, whether it’s a pair of jeans or a college. And maybe seek out some other Midwesterners to talk to…chances are they will be able to identify with some of the things bugging you.</p>
<p>My D has a friend who is undergoing the opposite switch NE to Ohio and honestly she is amazed by how friendly everyone is - we NE can seem uptight and hard to approach but really underneath there are a lot of friendly people we are just slower to open up. Also remember it is rarely the first people you meet who are the ones you become real friends with. My D started out last year with a pretty partycentric crowd as a change from her very studious high school - realized it wasn’t really her and found her closer friends toward the middle of the year. Two of them were making big cultural jumps as well and both applied to transfer but by the Spring decided to stay. You should give yourself the option to leave - it might make you feel less trapped and then see where you are when decision time comes around. And I agree - look for a room change - feeling comfortable in your personal space can make a big difference!</p>
<p>Phanatic, you are not rambling; you are telling us what’s wrong. I do hope you are able to improve your roommate and house situation after the housing freeze is over. I can’t imagine that you’re the only one that doesn’t have a good fit so get your name in. One of my daughter’s friends felt her house fit was not ideal last year so this year she’s in the French House. People do move.</p>
<p>As far as singing goes, I can tell you my daughter’s experience. She got into the first-year chorus last year but what she really wanted was a cappella since she figured she’d always be able to sing in community choruses for the rest of her life and that wouldn’t be the case for a cappella. First semester she tried out for all of the a cappella groups and I believe was called back for a couple, but didn’t make the cut. She was deeply disappointed, had a good cry, but resolved to try out in January again. She auditioned again, got called back and again didn’t make it. My daughter prides herself in her musicianship, both as a singer (solid choral experience) and as a violinist (concert mistress of suburban youth orchestra), so this was devastating to her. A cappella groups are not impossible to get into but a lot of people do try out; you have to have the voice they’re looking for and apparently she didn’t have what they wanted. She made the best of the situation by recruiting some of her friends to participate in chorus with her for the second semester and they had a great time. In May she auditioned for Glee Club, got in and is happy. </p>
<p>A friend of hers was involved in the musical theater last spring and had an absolute blast, bonding with the other performers and enjoying the informality of the production; they gave an excellent, spirited performance, according to my daughter. If you like, I could see if my daughter’s friend is doing that again and put you in touch with her.</p>
<p>If you want to stay and finish out the year at Smith (and it may be too soon to evaluate that, I don’t know), you can always audition for the chorus in January. The second time around you’ll know what to expect and you’ll be prepared.</p>
<p>There are plenty of BBC- and movie-lovers at Smith. I know they exist in Baldwin House! Is there a Film Club or something like that?</p>
<p>Have you talked to your HONS about any or all of this? Their job is to help you get happily settled at Smith, but if they don’t know you’re unhappy, they can’t help you. My daughter is a HONS this year and I know she’s busy with the first-years, so you’re not alone in the transition.</p>
<p>Phanatic, even if you get over your homesickness and become happily settled at Smith, you will never lose your love of Michigan. We are from Massachusetts and this summer my daughter worked two months at the New Mexico camp which she deeply loves from her meaningful experiences there as a camper. She had a week at home before she returned to Smith. In the middle of that week, she was so confused because she missed NM, loved being home and was looking forward to being back at Smith. It’s possible to grow to love more than one place. </p>
<p>I agree with Overwhelmedma. Consider looking into transferring and see how you feel in the spring.</p>
<p>Phanatic, my D and her first roommate were not simpatico along similar lines as your situation. Don’t be afraid to initiate a roommate shuffle when things unfreeze…I heard of at least one shuffle that involved five rooms and two houses as people sorted themselves out.</p>
<p>Bummer on the chorus but I think exploring the musical theater as an outlet for the moment might be just the thing to explore something hitherto unconsidered.</p>
<p>And look for some of the California women…they may grappling with New England as much as you are, ayup. (Did I say that correctly, OWM?)</p>
<p>TD, I’m originally a St. Louisan, but I moved to Massachusetts over 30 years ago. I think only natives of New Hampshire and Maine say “ayup,” not Bay Staters. 
Interestingly, we thought our kids would wind up with Boston accents and drop their "r"s, but they didn’t; I guess our being Midwesterners (husband’s from Michigan) plus where we live, an hour out of Boston, mixed it up. </p>
<p>Phanatic, I forgot to mention: just early last week there was a quickie shuffle of four people and three rooms in Baldwin House, so moving is not unusual.</p>
<p>Does Smith do a good job of matching roommates? Our first two kids go to colleges where they did a very good job with this.</p>