<p>Today it finally hit me. The Princess has flown.</p>
<p>Went to grocery store and started to buy what P likes, and realized she is gone. Bad day.</p>
<p>But then got an email: send money, need soccer shoes.</p>
<p>I kept doing things like that for awhile. It took me months to only take 3 dinner plates out of the cupboard for dinner - I'd instinctively reach for 4! </p>
<p>Besides the hefty tuition, it seems like there are sooo many additional expenses that crop up. </p>
<p>Hope your D is loving school!</p>
<p>Our nest will be EMPTY Sunday! That will be a first in 20 years!</p>
<p>We are packing the car tonight and driving tomorrow. Hard to believe that the day is really here.</p>
<p>have fun - get some good food prior</p>
<p>On the road tomorrow at 6 a.m.
COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE & CRUISE CONTROL!</p>
<p>We are back....everything went well, including not too much rain from Hanna during the move-in times. The funny thing was that as soon as we arrived for registration, student was whisked away to another building with current students, leaving parents alone without them. Kind of the cold shower shock approach to separation!</p>
<p>This is when the full extent of your sacrifice to give the gift of a great boarding school really hits home. We found the separation from our son far worse than writing the checks. He was 3000 miles away and we saw him only on vacations, parent's weekend in the Fall, family weekend in the Spring, and a February father-son weekend (some of the best moments of my life.) But, we missed him like hell every minute. </p>
<p>Was the sacrifice worth it? Without hesitation, yes. But I can relate to every new boarding school parent who now spends many moments a day wondering what their child is up to, thrills to the occasional email or call or website photo, and just flat-out misses that kid whose gifts and personality enabled him or her to attend a top notch boarding school.</p>
<p>Nice post, Thatcher.</p>
<p>Thanks Thacher, that's so true. We took our S on Thursday, and the reality has set in. Our S has been away for weeks at a time before during summer camps, but this feels so different. Thank goodness his transition went well, he pushed us out the dorm door and said he had to get ready for an evening event!! But this is hard. And now I finally understand why my parents were and are always so thrilled to hear from me.</p>
<p>It doesn't help that my S is not one to give much detail on the phone, though he did call 3 times yesterday: "Hey mom, where did you put my belts" "Hey mom, where did you put my soccer socks?" and "Hey mom, I need another book." So I guess we will hear from him when he needs something!!</p>
<p>PrincessDad, I'm on a serious roller coaster. Six days after dropping D off to start her first year at BS, I put S on a plane to spend his senior year abroad. We won't see him for 10 months. I thought I had this all well in hand - seeing the space as an opportunity for growth and all that - but so far all I feel is the sting of loneliness and quiet in the house. One minute I'm fine and optimistic, the next I'm a puddle.</p>
<p>My son was accepted at one of the top boarding schools in the east. I was so impressed with the diversity of the students accepted. I thought all of the students would be facing the same issues in the first few weeks. What I am finding is that there is a lot of diversity if your not WHITE. If you are white 99% of the kids are rich and privileged beyond belief. They seem to know each other or just seek each other out and my son is invisible. He is ignored and excluded by the cool group. My hope is that he will reach down deep and remember who he is and realize that if they don't want to get to know him then some other interesting young people will. If he does end up accepted by these kids I hope he will remember how being on the outside felt and I hope he will not do that to other children. I want him to broaden his horizons not worry about trying to fit into a group of kids that don't think he is up to their standards. I miss him terribly and know he misses us and all of the friends at home who think he is the greatest.</p>
<p>carker,</p>
<p>I think your son is learning a more important lesson about life than the stuff in the classroom (which can be done at a whole range of public, private, and boarding schools, not just at the "best" schools). </p>
<p>It doesn't surprise me to hear that cliquishness goes on at your son's school. It is universal, even at your public high school, although at the top of the pyramid it can be even more pronounced. The difference is that your son is now cast in the role of newcomer, a role he is probably not familiar with.</p>
<p>The good news is that if he focuses on being the best "him" he can be (sorry I don't know his name), being a good teammate on his football team, being available to others without being socially needy, he will be accepted particularly if he (looking at his background in your previous post) is a prominent athlete. Once he is accepted in that role, other roless will become available.</p>
<p>Let's just hope he remains well grounded after he gets accepted into the first circle. </p>
<p>I can understand your disappointment in the lack of social diversity within the caucasian community at his school. Keep these thoughts in mind when the time comes to consider college admissions. If you value diversity in more than just the token stuff, perhaps the elite colleges so highly touted here on CC aren't the right place.</p>
<p>In any event I wish you and your son peace of mind.</p>
<p>carker--Are the other kids also new to the school or are they old friends? Seeing other kids pal around can make even the most confident kid feel like an outsider when everything is new.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that your son might be a little homesick so you will only hear about the awful bits. Does he get along with his roomate or any of his teamates?</p>
<p>Lax, Tell me about it. But then I get a phone call (even if it is, can you find my rain boots...) and all is better for at least several hours.</p>
<p>Carker.
We did not want our d to be a member of the "skull and bones" club so we did not look at some of the schools praised here. But as goalie dad states, with time your s will probably start his own group. But another piece of advice. I went to a well diverse PHS - yet the whites sat together, the blacks set together, the chicanos, etc. I was one of the few that could enter each group and be accepted as I tried and was not threatening. Played hoops with one group, did homework with another, etc.</p>
<p>Today it finally hit me. The Princess has flown.</p>
<p>Went to grocery store and started to buy what P likes, and realized she is gone. Bad day.</p>
<p>But then got an email: send money, need soccer shoes.</p>
<p>^ that could be a poem princess dad :D</p>
<p>i don't know how parents survive all this. my parents probably get bored of not having anyone to yell at, frustrated that now nothing can be my fault, and occasionally miss me for I always give them something to do, be it clean my room while bickering how they shouldn't or nagging me to do my homework for the day after tomorrow.
whereas i would just be having the time of my life x)</p>
<p>Carker, rent "School Ties."</p>
<p>response to "If you are white 99% of the kids are rich and privileged beyond belief." </p>
<p>In the first days, everyone is making assumptions on very little information. Within months you will figure out that there really is tons of diversity in the white community. But nobody starts a conversation with "I'm white trash on scholarship." So of course everybody seems the same at first. </p>
<p>Let me tell you, the black kids who everyone assumes is on sports schalarships but are full-tuition middle class aren't any happier about the situation then you are. </p>
<p>And the grew up in the US but are assumed to be ESL/math whiz Asian crowd is really perplexed.</p>
<p>Over a year or two, the race groups often are replaced by interest groups: a Capella/ music, sports, radio station, AP. Just give it time.</p>