food fight suspension!!! the fun's over, now am i screwed?

Applying to College
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<p>My Quote:
But with a speeding ticket or traffic ticket, you pay the fine and move on…you don’t have to put it on your college app. </p>

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<p>No, it’s not. Because one speeding ticket isn’t going to prevent you from getting insurance. It might not even affect your rates, and if it does, it’s a bit more for 3 years. But, you still get the insurance. You’re not made to feel like you’re a horrible person and such.</p>

<p>And, besides, that wasn’t the real point of my post (did you read the whole thing???). The point was the people were making this big deal that colleges need to know about “rule breakers,” students “who put other people’s lives in danger,” and that top colleges are typically filled with students “who don’t break rules.”</p>

<p>So, my point was that if such info is soooooo important, then students should have to list their speeding tickets, because that demonstrates that they are “rule breakers” (when they clearly know that speeding is WRONG, and that it puts other people’s lives in danger.</p>

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<p>No, my 18 year old was able to get a lawyer by herself (for free), paid a fine and not receive a moving violation. I told her if our insurance were to go up, then she would be off our policy and her car would be taken away. She got it taken care of, that was the first and only ticket she ever received.</p>

<p>On CC we like to send out messages to all students that the only way they could get into a top tier school is to be robotic perfect students. I can’t help but get the sense for some parents it’s because it didn’t work that well in their own household, this is almost like a crusade to create “more perfect” young adults. A lot of what’s said is really scare tactic.</p>

<p>I have done some stupid things when I was young, some was attributed to “I was there, and everyone else was doing it,” and for some I was the ring leader. The most harmless ones were food fights (most of them organized so we would know when not to wear our cashmere to the food hall), and stealing food trays for midnight sledding. Did it take a lot of brain to organize those things? No. Could someone have gotten hurt (hit a tree in the dark)? Yes. Was it fun? Yes. </p>

<p>My own father, 75 yrs old, told a story many times to us and to his grandchildren. Right after WWII, there were a lot of tatami (Japanese flooring/mattress) stacked up in a classroom at his school. One day he got all of his friends to carry those tatami to a river and had a great ride on them. He said it was priceless when they went by the administration building, headmaster was looking at them and his own father (a school teacher) was speechless. He knew he was going to get in trouble, but he said it was the best ride.</p>

<p>Would most of us do some of those stupid things we did when we were young? No, because we are a lot more cautious now, that’s what comes with old age. I told OP if that’s the worst thing he’s done, then his parents have done a pretty good job.</p>

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<p>And one suspension isn’t going to prevent you from getting into college. Not by a long shot.</p>

<p>Regardless, I think we’re probably splitting hairs here. The OP, who appears to be an intelligent young adult, made a mistake. People’s opinions differ on whether the punishment fit the crime, but the bottom line is that the OP will still be able to go to college, and will unlikely be screwed for life.</p>

<p>If you think the punishment was unduly harsh, that’s fine, but please don’t imply that the punishment doled out due to this one “harmless prank” will hamper the OP’s chances for success for the rest of his life. There are plenty of schools out there that will accept such a student, whether you deem the punishment harsh or not.</p>

<p>Just as the “harmless prank” was not a live-or-die situation, the outcome of the punishment is not a live-or-die outcome either. When you put things in perspective, *all things *must be put into perspective, not just those things that *some people *deem should be put into perspective.</p>

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<p>If my kid was aiming for top 20 schools, and because of one suspension over food fight my kid was denied admission, there would be a law suit. I don’t think it’ll be the case for OP, and that’s what he is asking. His GC is going to write a letter on his behalf, and I don’t think adcoms is going to take the food fight episode overly serious, unlike what other posters are saying.</p>

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<p>"If my kid was aiming for top 20 schools, and because of one suspension over food fight my kid was denied admission, there would be a law suit. "</p>

<p>You’d never know why your kid was denied admission. It’s not like the colleges would tell you why your kid were rejected. </p>

<p>"On CC we like to send out messages to all students that the only way they could get into a top tier school is to be robotic perfect students. "</p>

<p>The only people I see sending out such incorrect messages are students and parents who don’t know what they are talking about. None of the top 20 schools want to accept robotic students. Indeed, such schools reject such students.</p>

<p>They want students with high grades, rigorous curricula and scores, ethics, and leadership or other talents and achievements. They don’t want students who robotically force themselves to the mold they think will make them what top colleges want to accept.</p>

<p>"Would most of us do some of those stupid things we did when we were young? No, because we are a lot more cautious now.</p>

<p>Sure, that comes with maturity. At the same time, however, the stupid things that many of us did when we were young were far more trivial than being in food fights or getting drunk, things that some adults here did when they were in high school, but many adults here didn’t do.</p>

<p>“So, my point was that if such info is soooooo important, then students should have to list their speeding tickets, because that demonstrates that they are “rule breakers” (when they clearly know that speeding is WRONG, and that it puts other people’s lives in danger.”</p>

<p>Colleges are far more concerned about students breaking school administration rules or committing crimes like robbery, rape or other assaults – the kind of crime that is deliberate, something that often isn’t the case with speeding. Even the most careful drivers can accidentally go over the speed limit and get tickets. People, however, don’t accidentally rape, rob or assault others.</p>

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<p>If I participated/planned a food fight at school I’d be in more trouble at home than at school.</p>

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<p>“If I participated/planned a food fight at school I’d be in more trouble at home than at school.”</p>

<p>The same would have been true for my kids and for me.</p>

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<p>And there we have it - if I don’t get my way, I am going to sue them. Way to teach a child responsibility and right from wrong. And as NSM so clearly pointed out, you would be laughed out of court because you would never know why your rulebreaking offspring was rejected from a top 20 school</p>

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<p>I think this is the case with most families - but nice of you to remind everyone that most people do care about having their children learn right from wrong</p>

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<p>Again, no one is talking about rape and robberies. And, yes, often teens do purposely speed - especially when the ticket indicates excessive speeds (not just a few miles over).</p>

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<p>NSM - and you do? How many kids have you sent to top tier schools? I have one track record and she is still in school.</p>

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<p>Are you seriously equating food fights with getting drunk (under aged I presume)?</p>

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<p>BB61 - Are you really an administrator with a top notch PK-12 Independent School? You have a lot of anger toward young people. Are you resentful of all of those rich brats you have to deal with day in and day out?</p>

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<p>As a parent of two college kids who’ve never have gotten so much as a detention, I think I do know what I’m talking about.</p>

<p>The food fight should have been handled by issuing Saturday work detentions.</p>

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<p>oldfort </p>

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<li><p>Rich brats ??? Way to stereotype people - that speaks volumes about you and not in a good way.</p></li>
<li><p>Yes, I am indeed an Administrator with a well ranked independent school. But not sure what that has to do with my opinions here? Am I not allowed to share my viewpoint? Maybe you would be happier if I did not list what I do in my profile since apparantly it bothers you.</p></li>
<li><p>Anger towards young people? Please show me where I showed any of that here. If you equate supporting a proper penalty for a student involved in poor, rule breaking behavior as anger - well then you truly are misguided. I happen to believe in teaching young adults right from wrong. I believe people should be accountable for their actions and good students want to do the right thing. Anger never enters the equation.</p></li>
<li><p>As to the students who I work with (aka using your vile terminology - the rich brats), first they are not brats and while some may have wealthy parents, they all certainly do not. Furthermore, why would I be resentful of working with such a great group of children and young adults? We like to say we have great kids who do great things - and in fact they sell our school to others who come and visit because of how well behaved, educated and engaged they are. Once in a rare while we, like anyone else may have someone who breaks a rule or does something really foolish who requires disciplinary action, and when that occurs they are punished appropriately (and yes, that includes suspensions and or expulsions). Luckily for us, our students have been taught well and know they should respect the rules and their school overall. They take pride in their school and they know how to act in a proper manner so I can’t imagine they would do anything as inane and brazen as instigating a school wide food fight. However if they did, they would not whine and cry about being punished for planning and instigating a school wide food fight like the OP did. They would accept the consequences and move on.</p></li>
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<p>Just because you participated in such foolish behavior when you were young does not make it right, excusable or something to be easily dismissed. That is not what someone trying to teach a student proper behavior does</p>

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<p>Old Fort, you wrote: “On CC we like to send out messages to all students that the only way they could get into a top tier school is to be robotic perfect students.”</p>

<p>I am not among the posters who sends out such messages, and I presumed that since you have a child in a top tier school, you don’t believe that students have to be “robotic perfect students” to be accepted to such a school. Am I mistaken in believing that a parent whose kid attends a top 20 would know that those schools don’t welcome robots?</p>

<p>“NSM - and you do? How many kids have you sent to top tier schools? I have one track record and she is still in school.”</p>

<p>Neither of my kids are robotic. I went to a top 3 school, and have interviewed for that school. My older son was accepted to 2 top 20 schools. None of the people whom I know who attended or were accepted to top 20 schools were robotic, though I know that some misinformed students and parents on CC assume that only perfect robots get into such schools. Sadly, some parents also try to shape their kids to be perfect robots in order to attempt to gain admission to a top school.</p>

<p>"As a parent of two college kids who’ve never have gotten so much as a detention, I think I do know what I’m talking about.</p>

<p>The food fight should have been handled by issuing Saturday work detentions."</p>

<p>I don’t know how being a parent of well behaved kids means that one is an expert on what kind of punishment food fights deserve. I can imagine, however, that if a relatively light punishment is given to such so-called senior pranks, the pranks may become even more serious. I think that there are plenty of kids who’d think that it would be worth it to get just a Sat. detention in order to perform a senior prank.</p>

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<p>I’ll point out that we’ve only heard the OP’s version of events. To hear him tell it, he was quietly sitting in the cafeteria when he stood up and innocently took part in a “Seniors Rule” chant. Then, sitting back down and unbeknownst to him, events spiraled into a school-wide (his word) food fight. </p>

<p>I admit that at the time I thought the 3-day punishment a bit harsh and I certainly wasn’t on-board with the “Hang 'em High” crowd, but my Dad-O-Meter kept telling me that this story just didn’t pass the smell test. At post #35 the OP eloquently told all those people who didn’t support his position to, "*** off", well, at that point my BS detector slipped into overdrive. But the piece de la resistance came at post #76, the OP told us:“a good friend of mine had a significant role in planning the food fight”*. At that point it was strictly ROTFL, as the kids like to say.</p>

<p>I don’t believe that any of this happened, at least in the way it’s been presented to us. If in fact the OP’s good friend planned the “spontaneous” food fight and the OP knew about it ahead of time and did nothing to stop it, then the OP got off lightly with a 3-day suspension. As for getting the media involved, after watching the OP’s responses here, it’s safe to say he’d be less than a sympathetic character.</p>

<p>To the OP, I have no clue what these actions will have on your college choices or those of your “good friend”. The truth is you’ll never know what, if any, effect it has. Your school list is highly selective and attracts many highly qualified candidates, many of whom get rejected every year. Whether your suspension is the tipping point is unknowable and easily deniable by an Admission Committee. </p>

<p>As for suing, well, you’d have to prove you didn’t know about the conduct rules, that you didn’t know beforehand about the food fight plan and that your participation was completely innocent. Then you’d have to get an Admissions Committee to say that you were rejected from school “A” specifically as a result of the suspension. If that wasn’t enough, you would then have to prove that, as a result of the rejection you were forced to attend UCLA and that this caused you irrevocable harm. I’m sure there’s a lawyer out there to take your case, I just wouldn’t expect a resolution much before September 2020.</p>

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<p>berryberry61:

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<p>Does your school know you are posting here, and that’s why you are spitting out such nonsense? Once in a rare while?Or are you truly delusional that you have no idea what goes on in your school, or any high school in general? </p>

<p>My kids school is one of the highest ranked private school in our state. The parents are all mostly hard working professionals. They all take education very seriously and they have chosen to invest their money in their kids’ education. Most of those kids have more opportunities than average kids, but they are far from being spoiled. With that as a back drop, if you were to speak with our school’s dean, she would not say “Once in a rare while we, like anyone else may have someone who breaks a rule or does something really foolish who requires disciplinary action.” She deals with real today’s teen problems - bullying on FB, cheating, drug, eating disorder, inappropriate racial remarks, fights, dress code. The dean is tough as nail, but she believes they are basically good kids. </p>

<p>I have seen her make some tough decisions. There was a time when she stood her ground to expel a student for cheating/srealing even when the father hired the best lawyer. The boy, one of my daughter’s good friend asked her to sign a petition to keep him in school, which she refused. I have also seen her letting a boy off the hook when he beat up a boy for sexually harassing his sister.</p>

<p>Don’t tell me how I don’t look good by what I wrote. Your posts make you appear like an unreasonable, unforgiving, rigid person who probably doesn’t have any business to be near our kids.</p>

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<p>Really? Would you mind sharing with us your credentials and experience working in an educational setting with young adults that make you an expert on such matters?</p>

<p>I am sorry, but being a parent of two kids who never served a detention does not make you an expert on proper punishment in schools - especially compared to school officials who know the full story about the OP’s actions, his history, the school’s history with rule breakers, etc.</p>

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<p>OP I have an idea for you…</p>

<p>Food Fight 2009<br>
Classes ('10,11 - maybe even '12, '13) compete to bring in the most food for a Food Drive, benefitting the Salvation Army or some other local food pantry. All non-perishable food items are acceptable (rice, packaged and canned food, etc.). The “Food Fight” gets a set date and length of time… after the food is collected and counted-- The winning class could receive a prize, say a discounted pizza party at the schools cafe for their hard work! </p>

<p>Op–If you plan out and write a proposal and then suggest this become a Jr/Sr yearly event–you could turn a black-eye situation into something good. It could be fun every year and would be a great essay about how too much exhuberance and teen mischeif caused trouble but through it you created an event that wil become a new tradition at your school. You need to jump on it now and promote it etc so you can have it done by the holiday break in December–(and so it can be fodder for your essays)</p>

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<p>Wow - just wow. And you have the gall to call me delusional. </p>

<p>Let me see if I have this straight. You, who does not even know the school I work at, nor anything about it believe you know far better than I do what goes on at my school? That is really what you are saying?</p>

<p>This after you denigrate those attending a private school as “rich brats”</p>

<p>I am sorry, but you seem to be either very angry and/or mentally challenged and as a result, don’t seem able to engage in civil discourse. Please get professional help for your own good</p>