<p>I have two kids in college, and one going in the fall of 2015. For me? I wish I had known merit money was negotiable. We accepted the offer, and know now we could have received more had we asked. :/</p>
<p>My top piece of advice is to do some research before visiting colleges. We spent time and money visiting a college that would not have worked because the academic program didn’t fit, and we could have learned that in advance.</p>
<p>If your kid is applying to a top program, an additional supplement might make a difference. For example, even though a child has stellar numbers, a supplement of a variety of written pieces might be helpful.</p>
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<p>This is not always true. We asked for D1 at one of her colleges and did not get any change. I assume sometimes they will increase it, though. Need based aid can also be reviewed and is occasionally increased after a review is requested, too.</p>
<p>Mine is “never assume.” They are still growing and need a sounding board, plenty of encouragement and the right balance of oversight.</p>
<p>Each child is their own person … what was learned for child #1 may be incredibly useful or totally useless for your other kids</p>
<p>^^^ This exactly! My older son is majoring in theater and writing; my younger son will likely major in biochemistry. It felt like we were starting from scratch with S2.</p>
<p>Get used to the feeling of not being in charge any more.</p>
<p>Don’t text/call them constantly … Let them initiate conversation, as painful as the waiting is, it makes them feel like grown ups. After the first few days, my oldest and I talked more than we did her senior year. Turns out she did still need me.</p>
<p>Be very mindful of dates. DS applied to several schools that required EA applications, then competitive merit scholarship competitions and scholarship days. An acceptance would come early, along with requests for essays, writing samples, etc. Each school wanted something unique and it was very time consuming.</p>
<p>Read each online college catalog (these are usually 50- 80 pages) carefully. What are the requirements for each major your kid (might) major in. Very important if school is a reach. Is there college foreign language proficiency required? How much/level of math? Admission requirements into a major will also give a good idea if the student is admissible to the university as a whole. For more (true) average students, all mentioned is very important. They may be able to get in, but can they get out?</p>
<p>I’m starting with second son and it’s a completely different experience. I think it’s important to understand what the student cares about, but to help with research. They usually simply don’t know all the variables to consider. The other, which may go against what many people here say, is don’t encourage them to apply to top tier schools when you have no intention of paying for them, unless you are likely to get lots of need based aid.</p>
<p>Ask for those teacher recs early as in the end of Jr year. We had everything else in and were waiting on teachers to finish. Sort of nerve raking to keep checking and have my son remind teachers to check their email from the common ap.</p>
<p>When they call with a problem, remember that they are calling you because they need to vent…not to have you solve the problem. My go to strategy is to listen, and then think of a time she solved a similar issue successfully and remind her. DON’T call the next day and give the advice you have been thinking about…they have likely moved on.</p>
<p>Don’t beat yourself or student up over what MAY have been different IF ONLY. We all do the best we can with the info we have at the time and should remain open to see how things emerge. We were told that merit at our kid’s merit was NOT negotiable and then they DID agree to bump up his merit award a smidgeon, to be more aligned with the offer competing U had made to S. We were glad to have the extra money x 4 years, plus as he went, they kept finding ways to give him & us more money! </p>
<p>One thing we had never fully considered was that D (as the younger) might want to apply to same U as brother AND be accepted! We did tell her she could apply but had not really thought about what it would be like to be full pay at the expensive private. </p>
<p>Our friends whose S received a full tuition merit award at same U had similar situation. Their younger D also wanted to and did apply. She was initially rejected but they OK’d her to appeal and the appeal was GRANTED! To their shock, they are also full-pay for their D for 4-years!</p>
<p>Manage expectations, especially if your child is going to his/her #1 choice. Don’t let them go off to college believing that it will be a paradise on earth.</p>
<p>Try to let them go. Struggle brings growth. Giving them independance — whatever that means for your child ---- is a vote of confidence. Don’t forget to have fun with them. Maintain perspective and a long view of things. Accept mistakes. Be their biggest fan and their safety net. Make them show you their grades! Breathe. Hug them (especially your boys, who are less likely to ask for one, but need it)</p>
<p>Colleges will treat your child like an adult and deal directly with them and not you unless the kid allows it in writing or unless they want money.</p>
<p>You won’t know grades, deadlines, events or anything unless you choose to stay on top of it.</p>
<p>Sometimes “Survive and advance” is the best advice.</p>
<p>If kid struggles with a required class and manages to come out with a “C”, don’t act disappointed and fret that it will keep him off the Dean’s List and look bad on his transcript. Congratulate him that he hung in there,made it through and never has to take that class again. The important thing is he conquered the beast and now knows he can it do it again when a challenge arises. Remind him of that.</p>
<p>We have celebrated Cs with both kids.</p>