<p>How much involvement with college personnel do you/did you have? My son took his first college course when he was 12 and I pretty much did all the leg work - contacted the admissions people, spoke to the chairman of the department, set up the interview (required by college to determine son's ability to handle class, etc). He is now 13 and is looking to take more classes at a different university this year. He's also looking at fulltime dual enrollment next year in his senior year (he's currently a rising junior) at another school. I don't have any older kids so have never gone through the college admission process so am working kind of blind here. I don't know how much control a regular aged high school senior is supposed to have over the process so can't gauge how much mine should have in his situation. I don't want the college people to view him as immature and underage if I'm too much in the driver's seat, yet he is still only 13 and, well, quite literally I do have to be in the driver's seat! If I do all the calling, asking, etc is it going to be viewed negatively against him, or will it be accepted/expected because of age reasons? What did you do? Any guidance would be appreciated! </p>
<p>(universities are/will be local, we're not looking at residential type issues)</p>
<p>All three of my sons enrolled in a CC at the age of 14. They attended every semester taking anywhere between 9 and 12 credits and they graduated with their AS degrees’ before they received their highschool diploma (In fact the CC would not issue the degree until they had their diploma). We did some phone calls but we were sure to sit down and discuss everything that they needed to address so that they were prepared to go into any office and address people like any other college student. I do think your son will appear as young (which he is) but that is what you want to avoid. The school my three sons attended was always impressed by the fact that they handled everything on their own. When it came time to apply to colleges the president of the school asked my sons if they would like a letter of recommendation from him. We saw a copy of it and it still makes me cry when I read it…all three of their letters included how ready they were to take on any challenge at any university because they did such a great job of handling the schedule of a full time challenging highchool along with taking honors level classes at the CC. If your son is smart enough to be dual enrolled than he is smart enough to learn how to negotiate the registration and all other matters that come up. </p>
<p>Congratulations to your son…You must be very proud.</p>
<p>My daughter started college as a full-time freshman when she was 15, but took cc classes at 13 and 14.</p>
<p>I did most of the organization work when she took classes at the community college – registration, etc. I didn’t speak to any professors or department chairs or anyone like that on her behalf though. I was just dealing with paperwork and online procedures, etc.</p>
<p>Once she enrolled full-time at the univ. at 15, I kept track of logistical stuff, deadlines, and so forth related to registration, etc. I tracked down her textbooks used online, and I dealt with her financial aid and paying the bills.</p>
<p>I never made any direct contact with any academic personnel though. It was all administrative stuff, and as the year wore on, she did all that herself.</p>
<p>She just turned 18 and is a junior. She goes to school full-time, works and has an apartment with a friend. Now I just pay the bills. ;)</p>
<p>But every family and every student is different, and I would really urge you to listen to your own feelings about it and your son’s. I think there is a very insistent refrain these days about how parents should shut up and back off. The case gets over-made in my opinion. The fact that you’re asking the question at all shows that you’re not going to go off the deep end with this. Your son is very young. You and he decide together what is right, and when is the right time to start handing off bits of responsibility to him. You’ll figure out how it works best for your family.</p>
<p>My son took his first college course when he was 11. It was his idea, but I did all the leg work - contacted the admissions people, spoke to the chairman of the department, set up the interview (required by college to determine son’s ability to handle class, etc).</p>
<p>He did all the communication with all his teachers; in fact, the CC made me sign a form saying they wouldn’t talk to me without his permission/presence. The CC required that no student under 17 could register himself for classes, so my son sent emails to the coordinator requesting sign-up. My son and husband and I worked out his class choices together. He just recently went through the application season for his four-year college (age 16/17), and we split duties based on what we guessed a student should do (call the schools to set up visit appointments, request letters of reference) and what we guessed a parent/highschool counselor should do (create transcripts, ask questions about financial aid).</p>
<p>
I think you’re probably OK. A 13-year-old can’t know all about adult issues any more than he can drive.
Hard to tell - but I would say that split duties would be appropriate. The important part to me is that the school know that all this is your son’s choice, not yours.</p>
<p>In my senior year of high school, I took a full college load at three different colleges (not a full load at each, but a full load collectively). I did all of the registering, book buying, admissions contacting, etc. If your son/daughter is ready to be engaged and productive in a college environment, they should be ready to take the initiative to set up their courses.</p>
<p>Not true. This 13 year old is not a full fledged adult in a 13 year old body but a child with asynchronous brain development. Certain cognitive portions of brain may develop much quicker, enabling much advanced class work, yet emotionally, organizationally, socially, be age-appropriate, or even delayed in development. There are pre kindergardeners who can read at teen age level yet be 3 year old in all other behavior.</p>
<p>Despicableme: Its hard having a very gifted child (don’t have one myself). I would do whatever it takes to make this a successful and positive experience for you child.</p>
<p>My son started college-based math courses at 13 (he’s now 15). I’ve done all the enrollment and financials, he’s done all the academics. He’s very capable of doing the coursework, but contacting the instructor to question or contest a grade is pretty intimidating for a student his age. I’ll advise and coach him about how to address classroom issues, but I leave it to him to do it (or to decide not to do it).</p>
<p>^^ Above couple of posts - I guess I was distinguishing being a full time student versus taking a couple of college classes. For the former, it seems that the kid should be socially mature enough to handle the things college students typically handle such as enrolling in classes, talking to academic advisors, profs, etc. This is part of the experience of college and parents won’t be in the classes with the kid so the kid needs to handle aspects on his/her own. Many of our kids aren’t actually legal adults when they enter college anyway. For the latter, then yes, it seems that it’s not much different than the parent sending the kid off to classes anywhere.</p>
<p>I guess you need to be more specific about which things you are concerned about. What’s involved? </p>
<p>If you are talking about financial issues, or contractual obligations, in many cases you may be required to sign things for him.</p>
<p>If you are talking about registering for classes, buying his books, or filling out applications, I bet he could do it himself (not knowing anything about him of course). If you’re talking about planning out his program with an advisor, he could probably do that himself too, and run it by you. Especially if a lot of it is stuff he can do online - he’s probably better at it than a lot of adults.</p>
<p>There are many things that you can teach your son how to navigate on his own. Try it with minor things and give it a go. When my kids were registering I would look over things just to be sure they had done everything correctly. They handled things fine. Most kids who are ready for college level classes at an early age could do these things with little intervention. </p>
<p>I do remember a college professor giving one of my sons a hard time on the first day of class. I guess he had never had a young student before. He embarrassed my son openly. At the end of the class my son approached the prof and told him that he was admitted to the school because he was capable of doing the work and in fact he had already proved that he could handle it. The professor became indignant and asked my son to drop the class. I must admit that was the only time I actually took pleasure in calling a professor and letting him know what I thought of his inappropriate behavior. My son got a well deserved A in the class and I received a call from the prof that my son scored the highest grades in all of his sections that semester. He apoligized and admitted that he had pre conceived notions. He also ended up submitting a letter of rec for my son at MIT.</p>
<p>If anybody at the college treats him as if he is thirteen, it might be because he is thirteen. Nobody is going to second-guess you for helping out your 13-year-old. All moms should help their 13-year-olds, whether they are in college, high school, middle-school or juvie.</p>
<p>By my son’s senior year he was taking almost all college courses, including spending half of each school day at our community college. The first year I helped a lot, especially with registration and all of that. </p>
<p>I never got the impression that anyone in admissions or business thought it was odd that i was there. In fact, we had to sign almost everything along with our son because he was a minor. But i did make him go with me so that he could learn the process himself.</p>
<p>We never called a professor but if my 15 year old had taken the appropriate actions and was still not able to resolve an issue, I probably would have. These kids are bright but they are simply not 18. Now that my son is 18 it’s very freeing to have him handle the process every step of the way!</p>
<p>“Why can’t he do much of the calling, asking, etc.? If he’s ready for college he should be ready to take that initiative.”</p>
<p>He is 13… He may be smart enough to take a college course and learn and understand the material, doesn’t mean he was ready to be sent off to a University somewhere. And he doesn’t need to be since he is just taking a college course to learn and understand the material, not being sent off somewhere.</p>
<p>I mean, I don’t know what kind of awesome kids you have, or what kind of an awesome kid you were, but at 12 I probably couldn’t have been responsible for a damn thing regarding setting up my own education. I think my mom had to register me for middle school. I imagine almost everyone’s parents did (if not every single one), and that was for somewhere far more age appropriate.</p>
<p>Some universities handle dual enrollment admissions separately from regular undergraduate admissions, with a simpler form that is more appropriate to younger students. In these cases, admission to dual enrollment does not guarantee admission as a regular student, although it would be probable. If the university your son would be attending has an arrangement like this, then he could probably handle things himself, although you might want to contact admissions to find out how they handle admission to dual enrollment. (Most people would not consider that to be inappropriate intervention on behalf of a 13-year-old.)</p>
<p>My D will turn 18 in December of her freshman year. The only problem we have run into is that she can’t open a credit union account on her own without having her signature notarized (I don’t get it either) and myself or my husband as joint owner. </p>
<p>The university has been great about everything else. She will be in an all girl’s dorm her freshman year, as that is where the swim team is housed - I actually like that she will be in a place that is a little more protective this first year. After that she can do as she chooses.</p>
<p>My oldest son went to community college at age 14 to take calculus as our HS only offered AP AB calculus. He was the youngest in the class by three or four years, but he really enjoyed the experience. The professor once e-mailed me to say that he was more mature than many of the typical college freshmen who were in her class. The college kids seemed more accepting of him than the high school upperclassmen did when he was a 13-year-old freshman taking pre-calculus.</p>
<p>I guess I am just not getting what the difficulty is. Obviously, the parent may need to sign some documents, and of course provide for transportation.</p>
<p>As far as registering for the university. He may need to fill out an app. He shold be able to do most of this with a little help. THen, assuming it is the kid picking the course he wants and not the parents, he looks at the schedule/catalog online and sees if he has the prereq. He either goes online and signs up, or goes in, talks to a counselor, and signs up. This paperwork strikes me as far simpler than actually attending class, takng notes, studying, and doing the work in a class like MVC. And of course, he runs it by the parents first.</p>
<p>This is why I would need to know specifically what the anticipated difficulty is. I don’t want to go into my own experience as a kid, but this does not strike me as something I would have had trouble with at 13, especially if I had been attending college classes already for a couple years.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your input and private messages! </p>
<p>My son is more than capable of handling the academic side of things so that is not a concern. Navigating the admissions side is a little more tricky. While he would have no problem talking to his professor about class material, I think it would have been just about impossible for him to do what I went through to get him into his first class last year. Actually, I don’t think the school would have given him the time of day just because of his age. This was not a community college that is used to having younger high school kids in their classes. That would have made it much easier if there had been some kind of standard procedure to follow. Perhaps he could have handled more of it in that case. I’m just trying to find the right balance so that the college understands that it is my son that wants the classes (as opposed to me) and that he is mature enough to handle it, but without overwhelming him with all the details of getting there. Right now we are not looking for the “full college experience”, he probably won’t get that until grad school. If the full-time dual enrollment works out next year, he does intend to enroll for full time admission at the school so maybe by then he will be in a better position to handle more of the load (plus he’ll be two years older!). Thanks for the support to those of you that have been there done that!</p>
<p>bovertine, The part of the process that was most complicated was working within the homeschool laws in California and then cooridnating between his high school and our local cc. We’re lucky in that there is an established program here between the high school and cc but it was still a lot of back and forth. </p>
<p>Each time we found the initial set up to be fairly complicated and some of that had to be repeated each semester but the most part it ran more smoothly the longer he did it.</p>