<p>S graduated from UCLA in 2005 and has been gainfully employed as a graphic/interactive designer ever. In fact, he offered to fly my husband and me to the West Coast for Thanksgiving; we graciously declined - just don't like traveling during turkey season.</p>
<p>D, at Pomona, is doing her junior semester abroad in Latin America. She'll be home in plenty of time for the holidays. Fortunately, she's decided that she'd prefer to work for a while before going to grad school.</p>
<p>mhc
besides PhD.org D found the live journal thread "applying to grad" to be especially helpful witht he nitty gritty peer advice on reccs,statements of purpose (the grad equiv of essays) and interview experiences</p>
<p>
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He will be headed off to Washington state immediately after graduation and then to a Leadership Training course, where upon completion he will be commissioned as a second lieutenant in the army. He then plans to serve as an officer for a few years, either in the army or in the National Guard.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I have to say that such choice makes mine rather trivial. Students who have the courage to apply to a military program in these uncertain times deserve a huge dose of recognition and utmost respect.</p>
<p>Thanks for those kind words xiggi, and everyone else who wished S well. </p>
<p>As his Mom, I still think it was not the smartest move on his part! However, after I have had some time to get used to it, I know it is something that he has to do. I will never stop worrying about him, but it is his life.......I saw a mature man when he was home this Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I'm still struggling with the fact that he's not my little boy anymore. :( </p>
<p>xiggi, good luck to you in your graduate pursuits. Let us know how things work out. I'll be hanging around for a while to absorb all the cc wisdom for little sis.</p>
<p>I can't believe it's been 4 years since I first started lurking on this forum! D will graduate in May, then it's off to med school which we will help pay for. She's the last of three - the other 2 are having grad school paid by employers! Thanks to all for the wonderful advice and humerous posts over the years.</p>
<p>I found the forum as my oldest D was becoming a junior in HS, in 2002, and we embarked on the college process (and I have been immersed in it ever since!). That daughter is now a senior at Brown and absolutely loves her school and is having great experiences, wonderful opportunities, and a lot of fun mixed in with the hard work. I am sure she will be very sad to leave upon graduation this coming May. It has been the perfect match for her and we could not be more pleased. She is in the thick of applications and portfolio preparation for graduate schools of architecture, a very competitive process. Some are due in about two weeks. This isn't the kind of grad school that you don't have to pay for. We will be in college loan pergatory for years to come. I hope she has a positive outcome. </p>
<p>D2, who is two years younger than D1, decided to graduate high school a year early and so her college process started before D1's was finished. She also entered a highly competitive process, BFA in Musical Theater admissions (my kids seem to have gone for these extremelly competitive admissions processes all the way through!). She had a successful outcome and also landed at first choice, NYU's Tisch School of the Arts, where she is currently a junior. She loves her school so much and is having fantastic experiences. She says it is the "best" school though I know she means the very best school she could have picked for herself. Her BFA degree is a professional degree and so she will enter the audition world in this field upon graduation. She will pursue a career on stage, though also is skilled and experienced at (and is already paid to do) being a musical director and an accompanist and also writes her own shows. She will be staying in NYC (unless a job were to take her some place else). </p>
<p>As parents, nothing makes us happier than to see the kids this happy and pleased at their colleges. We think both ended up picking schools that were perfect fits for themselves. We have no complaints and neither do they. </p>
<p>I have been in the throes of college admissions ever since 2002 and became a college counselor in 2003 and so every cycle I am immersed in this process and go through the anxious pangs on behalf of many high school seniors. This is a very busy time. I used to think that guiding one child through it was a lot of work but now it is multiplied many times over. This year, I have my own child in the professional grad school admissions process and so get to be on pins and needles for both clients and my own. It seems like a neverending process. It is a thrill, however, when you are along for the ride with a young person, be it my own or someone else's child, when happy news arrives.</p>
<p>CCer's, both old timers and new ones, are a great bunch.</p>
<p>first as a lurker and then slowly as a sometimes poster. S#1 -- now 28 --was high school senior just as the Internet was becoming popular and before CC. He took 7 1/2 years to graduate a top Ivy since he began a software company in his soph year and took a leave of absence. Company is doing well after 7 years and we are thrilled that he supports himself.</p>
<p>I first came on CC re: S#2 who was -- and is -- a real rebel. He was a top student but teachers were always calling to complain about his mouth and his attitude. I loved posts by jamimom and MomWildChild since I could relate. Luckily he found a passion in film and graduated Northwestern 2 years ago. Now he is teaching in China, loves it, and might want to stay -- so it is really tough to relate to those of you anyone who live on East coast with kids on West coast -- seems real close to me after 15-20 hr+ flights to China city where he is located.</p>
<p>Son #3 is a sophomore at a LAC after being rejected ED at Ivy where DH and I met. He is very happy and very involved at Wes but is clueless re: what he wants to work at "when he grows up". CC helped me lots after his ED rejection -- read about all the kids who wind up loving their 2nd, 3rd, etc. choice. He plays in several bands and ensembles, enjoys community service programs here and abroad, and needs his own lawyer (for minor stuff but drives us crazy nonetheless!). Thanks to CC parents who post and help me realize he's not a criminal but immature and stupid.</p>
<p>soozievt, I feel your pain about college loan purgatory. To our surprise our ds has decided on grad school in interactive media/game development, a course of study which is thin in finaid. In addition the uni's that offer a program he is looking for are quite far away. Because he was responsible for his undergrad tuition, we feel a responsibility to pick up his grad school tuition or at least a significant portion of it. </p>
<p>I know that may seem as backward to many families here but he really has blossomed academically during the past 4 years and he has wandered into an area which he is extremely excited about, an enthusiasm which was reinforced by his internship in Pasadena this summer.</p>
<p>I will be retiring following the upcoming semester but picking up his grad school tuition should be within our means, even if it means tapping into our home equity LofC. A TA or research assistanceship would be nice though.</p>
<p>I realize paying for a child's graduate school goes against what many here do or believe in doing. We choose to pay for all of our kids' education. My parents sent me to college and graduate school and it is just something we want to do with the next generation. It does mean years of school loans for us. As a professional school, it is not like they pay you to go or pick up the tab. There are not TAs either. Ironically, as a senior in college, my D is a TA now and gets paid (not a lot but she loves being a TA and took it on without even realizing she'd get some money for it).</p>
<p>I hope we get good financial aid for grad school as we have for the kids' colleges. In any case, for next year, first year of grad school (if she gets in), we'd still have two in college as the younger one will be a senior in college. Having two in schools has helped a bunch in the FA package. Then, after next year, only one will be in school. </p>
<p>Lucky you about retiring, originaloog. That is not in our near future!</p>
<p>I joined in December 2004 with a username taken from an Elvis Costello song (I won't say which because I don't want anybody looking up my posts ;)). I was a shy, awkward, mildly depressed fifteen-year-old from a dysfunctional family with an inferiority complex and a disproportionately high opinion of my own intelligence, and I posted all sorts of inappropriate confessions (and got burned in more than a few flame wars) before embarrassment led me to change my username last spring. Even so, I'm probably one of the most easily identifiable posters here. :eek: </p>
<p>Three years later, I'm... well, infinitely more well-adjusted, that's for sure. I'm a freshman at Dartmouth and enjoying myself immensely. I haven't declared a major, but if I were to choose right now (and if it were actually feasible, which I doubt) I'd double major in studio art and geography, concentrating on international development, with a minor in public policy. Realistically, though, I'll probably have to settle for a studio art minor. I copy edit for the daily newspaper and can't decide whether to add photography, layout, or writing next term; ideally I'd do all four, but I'm not sure that's possible...! I'm a member of the environmental club and Vegan Society but not terribly active in either. I've found a wonderful group of friends, and I'm dating a boy who looks as though he'll be around a while (I spent Thanksgiving with his family in Connecticut :)). I'll be $60,000 in debt by graduation, but I'm absurdly, incandescently happy and growing in ways I could never have imagined. I'd say it's worth it.</p>
<p>Suze- I am sure you're not the only one funding some/all of grad school. We are letitng my D think she is funding it herself, when she finished we will pay off her student loans. I like seeing her feel independent and living within her budget and all that, in her case she needs that experience of feeling totally on the line for it, but we would like to pay it off when she is done, as a grad gift.</p>
<p>Does anyone know what EvilRobot is up to? Is he a Sr this year?</p>
<p>somemom, I think that is a very wise decision. It is something we did with our son as an undergrad, ie making him responsible for his tuition/books/spending $. We had provided him with a $76k college fund, something that he was very aware of at the very beginning of the college application process jr yr in hs.</p>
<p>This family decision did give him a great feeling of responsibility, independence and appreciation for his college education. I also think that it may have played a part in his academic maturation which has been the most gratifying aspect of his 3-1/2 college yrs thus far.</p>
<p>Well, I can't remember exactly when I joined, but it was sometime during S2's application process. He is now a junior at WUSTL, deliriously happy and quite involved with his anthropology studies. I have no idea where this will lead him, but to see him so engaged in ideas and research makes this mother's heart proud. Our eldest S1 graduated from Chicago in 2007 (I hadn't yet found this board when he was applying in 2002/2003) with a degree in Sociology, with an emphasis and interest in urban design and development. He also has a passion for alternative transportation policy. He got a job in LA upon graduation and moved out there this August. However, due to the downturn in the real estate market, his consulting job was downsized and he is returning home to look for a job on the east coast prior to applying to grad school. Were I a betting woman I'd say there's a PhD in his future, but only time will tell. In his case this experience was a real learning adventure, both in terms of the kind of job and the living environment. He figured out, in a very short time, what it was he was and wasn't interested in and that LA living was not for him. He is just not a car culture type of guy. So now I will worry as he drives cross country by himself with a packed Honda Civic Hybrid!
He will stop and visit his brother in St. Louis, however, and swing by Chicago to pick up his sister, a first year at Chicago. I relied heavily on a lot of the sage advice and information I received here on CC (both directly and by lurking) during her search process. She ended up not at her (at the time) first choice school, but at a school that is clearly very right for her. Where her studies will take her I don't know, but to hear her discussing Plato, Marx and Smith and Weber with her brothers is like listening to a secret language. It's wonderful!!</p>
<p>I have been an infrequent poster but frequent reader of these forums. Daughter is graduating in May from UIUC with degree in chem E and minor in bioengineering. Planning to continue on to grad school and is applying to about ten institutions all across the country.</p>
<p>Suze-- you need to run the fin aid calculators with a variety of scenarios before commiting to taking on more debt for grad school, and don't wait for the denoument to discover that grad schools are not as generous as undergrad given another child in college.... in our experience, it's not a significant factor. Institutional aid is not a large component of grad school aid in a wide variety of programs.</p>
<p>As someone here used to say (apologize that I don't remember who....) there are lots of banks ready to lend a talented 22 year old money for professional school; there are no banks ready to lend a 65 year old money for retirement.</p>
<p>Your daughter may have much more flexibility with financing if she herself is responsible for grad school, since she's got a much longer time frame to pay off the loans and doesn't have other debt right now (no mortgage, car loans, etc) I've got a neighbor who was quite insistent on financing her kids grad school and is now looking at negative home equity at age 50 since the housing market here has tanked just as her adjustable mortage racheted up-- and leaving her responsible for the home equity loans for tuition which seemed like such a dandy idea a couple of years ago. Plan B was to sell the house and move someplace cheaper when kid finished school-- well, cheaper will have to be a trailer or old school bus since they owe more on the house than it's currently worth.</p>
<p>Your emotional commitment to pay is great; you may need to run a reality check first. Virtually every kid in grad school these days has taken out loans to pay for it so your daughter will be in very good company.</p>
<p>Good points, Blossom.
Just because the loans are in the student's name doesn't meant the parents can't make the payments. We paid our older kids' loans until they got jobs in their fields, with health insurance, then they took over.</p>
<p>Hi, everyone! It is great to hear that things have turned out well for you who were on the journey with us last time. DS is a junior in an opera program he loves. I was really helped through this process by the experienced music parents who were matter-of-fact about the audition process and all the travel that it involved--and I found UCLAri and Xiggi's posts priceless. Good luck to both of you! Other people whose wisdom and encouragement helped us were Curmudgeon, lorelei, MomofWildChild, Sooviet, and many others whose screen names in my senior moment I can't remember. Thanks to all of you CC posters for your generous help.</p>
<p>I am actually back this year with DD who is, as I write, finishing her UC applications.</p>
<p>I'm not sure when I joined here but I remember looking at it in 2002 and 2003 when the PR board was going down the tubes (HTH). My daughter graduated from Principia college this past Spring and is now teaching in China. Our hope is that she will get her wanderlust under control and settle in teaching somewhere East of the Mississippi. I got more help from this board with our oldest son who is now a sophmore at Roanoke College. Where else would one find out about all the cool small LAC's around the country?</p>
<p>My youngest (only 14) doesn't know it yet but I think he would love Kenyon!</p>
<p>blossom,
Your advice is wise and I understand it. We are prepared to pay for graduate school no matter what we have to do to pay for it. We know we can make it work no matter what FA is offered. The entire amount won't be loans but some will be for certain. Hopefully she also will get financial aid as she has gotten right along but even if it is less, it is. We never planned on getting a certain amount of aid for college and whatever we got simply helped a bunch but we were going to send them whether we got the aid or not. My kids received a lot of aid actually as it went up when both were in college at the same time for these past three years. We didn't know it would be as high as it was and so it was just MORE helpful but we were sending them no matter what. We are prepared to continue that for D1. D2 is not going to grad school as she is in a terminal professional degree program as an undergrad and has one year left after this one. Our college loans are not home equity loans. They are Parent Plus Loans, as well as the student loans our kids got from colleges which we are also paying. They also got grants/scholarships. We simply won't be retiring for a long time. We are not that old anyway. :D While everything you wrote makes good sense, there was never a question for us as to who would pay for education. i can't explain it other than this is a family tradition or value. My parents paid for me for college and grad school and we always planned to do the same for our kids. Grandparents also help to make this happen. It just is not something we would ever consider doing differently though I perfectly understand how others feel differently in this regard. We will support our kids through their educations and then they are on their own. My kids have a good work ethic and earn money for things but not for their actual education. We do not pay for summer things in college and they have also saved up considerable money for spending money and for doing other enriching endeavors. We opt to pay for all education, however. I fully support others who choose to do it differently. Yes, it is hard. Yes, we don't have funds for other things but we feel strongly about this. We are prepared to send D to grad school no matter what aid she gets but I hope she gets good aid. Anything she gets will help. We have been fortunate at the wonderful aid they have gotten to date at both their colleges. </p>
<p>While I am not planning on selling my house, it is worth a lot more than when we built it, unlike your friend who would lose money selling it. We also do not have an adjustable rate mortgage. I am also working to help pay for their education which I wasn't doing before they went. Anyway, right now, I just hope my daughter gets into grad school as the admit rate is very low at all her prospective schools. She finished her final draft of her portfolio today and just sent it to me and so much rides on that and it was SO much work. Juggling all this while going to college, being a TA, and being on a varsity team has been a lot. But then again, my kids never seem to take an easy road! I guess neither do we.....</p>