Not to mention paying for it. For us, and I think for many-the payments will represent a change in lifestyle. It means less money for retirement, vacations, eating out, working more and all the rest. We’re going to have to weigh this against the value. Already dropped a number of schools since it wasn’t worth the money, couldn’t see going there and the schools didn’t represent enough value vis-a-vis the local public school. I think many have the post traumatic moment after their kid gets in. Start the conversation of is this really what you want and is this really what we want as a family. Plus, add in a kid or two and you have to do the math. Do you want to spend the money on high school versus grad school ( assuming college is paid for). Are you willing to have your kids take on debt for undergrad? (We are not). So many things to consider. For people who live in areas where it is the only option for a high achieving kid you know the path you want to follow. But for others who have multiple options, its like multivariable calculus. Still looking forward to M10.
@RuralAmerica I just got out the tissues. I can’t imagine empty nest just yet and being a single parent with minimal distractions…wow, that had to have been tough! Kudos to you, my friend, for sacrificing this for your girl!!!
Thank you all so much for your responses. I had to get the tissues out (again) when reading them all! I especially can appreciate the Wizard of Oz reference. I appreciate everyone’s candor, and the advice to just feel all the emotions because it IS hard. Sending virtual hugs to all of you!
@cj9623 I agree that @twinsmama hit the nail on the head with Oz analogy. Meanwhile, I’ve realized how spoiled I’ve become with DSs calls/texts because I haven’t heard from him in over 24 hours and I’m going crazy! I just sent him a tantrum gif (now that I know classes are over for the day…). Hopefully that will get a response lol.
If you ever need commiserating, you have plenty of people here who feel your pain…& will feel your pride/joy!
@cj9623 You’re not alone. These trepidations grow as the reality of BS encroaches. My own freaking out a couple of year ago left behind some gracious words of wisdom by fellow CC parents. You too may find them helpful:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1864384-im-leaving-i-love-you-but-im-leaving-p1.html. Best wishes!
@GoatMama reading that thread was a huge surprise to me…I never would have pictured you in that state…you seem so in control of this whole situation…I’ll admit, you were one of the very first who struck a chord with me when I joined CC…I can’t remember the contact, but you calmed me down and gave me so much encouragement…I’ll always be grateful for that…nice to know even the greatest warriors may have a chink in their armor!
Thank you, @buuzn03! Now that I’ve calmed you down, can I tell you that it doesn’t get easier but harder??! >:)
^no. You may not. That is unacceptable
Someone might want to start a thread titled “How To Make Sure Your Kid Gets Rejected From All Boarding School To Which He/She Applied”.
^^if it didn’t wreak havoc on their confidence, rejection wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Well, I did start a “worry” thread a few years ago:
@ChoatieMom choatieDad’s biggest fear—that ChostieMom will never get off this board!!! =))
@ChoatieDad my fear…that one day I’ll wait for @ChoatieMom’s insightful response and it never comes… 8-X
That was a great thread!!!
This is a fun thread that may put some minds at ease : http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1689420-first-year-reflections-p1.html
Today, I hate BS. Truth is, I talk the talk but I walk with a limp. Especially today. I just left DS at his dorm room after spending the weekend with him. Our whole family was together for the first time since the holidays & for the first time, we were all together in DS’s stomping grounds. We had a great time. We saw him play a great game of hockey, we laughed & joked together seamlessly as if we’d never been apart. And then the moment came when I had to say goodbye. I did my best holding it together…I may have hugged a few moments too long, maybe a little too tight…I may have made a few too many lame excuses not to walk out that door. Once I finally relented, I walked quickly with my tight-lipped smile to the car. Tears brimming the entire way to the airport hotel, I refused to let buuznkid2 know of my fragile state. It wasn’t until she jumped into the shower & my husband turned to me to tell me it would all be ok that I allowed the floodgates to open. And it was all out of complete selfishness, I’m not too proud to admit.
Yes, BS is providing my son with opportunities he’d never have gotten at home. He’s fit in well, add many friends (even got an anonymous valentine), played high level of sports, tried things he’d never have tried at home and just blossomed into a young man I am totally proud of. He is being challenged intellectually to a degree that he’s never been pushed before. It is crystal clear that he is completely happy in a place he was destined to be. For that, I am grateful. But today, my heart stayed in Massachusetts. And because of that I hate BS. Today, I really do.
@buuzn03 my heart goes out to you. It is always the worst after breaks and visits. The time together is always perfect and that makes the goodbye so much harder. It’s OK to feel the way you do! I’m sure we all understand and most of us feel the same way! It’s alright to be selfish in those emotions because no matter how amazing the opportunity, it’s still hard to say goodbye every time. Thank goodness for this forum and the group of parents that totally get what you’re feeling. It’s normal to have days where you hate BS! We’re here for you!
Thanks @RuralAmerica I usually am just peachy, but dang I miss my boy today.
Awww @buuzn03 I’m so sorry it’s been a rough day. I completely understand and know how hard it is to be separated. Giving your son the opportunity to go to BS and get a world class education is a selfless act of love. It’s so hard and a huge sacrifice for families on so many levels. If my son gets into BS this year I’m sure we’ll have those days in our future, too. All my best to you, I hope your week gets better.
My heart, too. @buuzn03 !
You might not believe me right now but it does get better… and right when you start feeling content and happy knowing he’s happy … and the entire family has found their rhythm and everything is popping on all cylinders- BAM! You’re four years older and on a plane heading for Commencement and your kid is going to college! Just like that. How did THAT even happen?? Feel better? 
Now back up a minute!!
Anonymous Valentine? We have secret admirer??? Does he know who it is? Should we be excited? Do you like how I’m using “We”?
You’re going to need to buck up, mom! We want details!! 
Thanks, everyone! I just hung up from FaceTime with him, as we are back home in Texas. Things are back to normal. He’s a goof on the screen & his making me laugh pulled me out of my funk. @PhotographerMom you are just like DH & I were with the whole valentine thing. He says it’s a pity valentine. I was having none of that. Then he says he doesn’t know who it is because the card was signed “anonymous “ but the smirk on his face every time we bring it up…he knows. So, I started going through his Instagram account and his dad was of course, needling him about all of the girls he’s following. We are moving into stealth mode…we will figure this out! Lol his dad will never let him live this one down!!!
I agree with @PhotographerMom. It is so hard, but it does get better (at least, a bit). DS turned 18 this weekend. I went up to see him the night before, and held his face in my hands as tears streamed down my cheeks. Where in the world did 18 years go? About 30 mins prior to the tears, I had the chance to hear the entire senior class sing happy birthday to him, the 2nd time he was sung to that day (the first time was the entire school). He is beloved by his friends and faculty and secure in himself and polite and well-spoken and has a great circle of close friends. It is more than I could have ever hoped for him… a kid who had been bullied in middle school and was painfully shy prior to BS. BS has given him the chance to stretch and grow and find himself. And I love that. His sister is considering going away next year for 9th. That will be a new trial. But for now, I have to be confident that we’ve absolutely done the right thing.