So–thanks to the culture of our N-8 school, all applications were tucked in complete by Columbus Day weekend. He applied to four schools as a strong candidate with counsel by people other than his proud parents that this was wise. (We visited 10 schools and visited the schools he applied to twice). SSAT was also done in October. Grades are now in. So now what? The obvious disadvantage of being an over-zealous, over-eager Mom with a cooperative 13 year-old–now I have to let him be in the moment, enjoy his Senior year and NOT talk about this until M10 rolls around. It is not that I am nervous-I am just excited for him. Yet-this is his time to enjoy-he is growing and changing every day (Mom-lots of my friends are in chorus-I think I am going to join for these last two terms . . ). Secretly-contrary to all wisdom-I bought some clothes a size or two ahead and for Christmas I got him two posters of his long-term favorite interests for his dorm room. I know. I know. I gotta-let-it-go. He is a thus-far very non-neurotic kid (my only one-what a blessing). Clearly, with my style of over-eager parenting it is a blessing that he is happy to go away! His friends are not hyped up and none of them are applying to the same schools as he is. (In fact only two of his classmates are even applying to boarding school). So–looking on this thread to have the support of other parents trying to just put this in the hands of the admissions people until they put it back in to our hands. Yes–I know I got to just let it go. This issue is putting that in to practice!
One of the most important things you can do between now and M10 is to convey that there are multiple schools where he could be happy, and not to fixate on one.
Come M10 you may be overjoyed or crying for grief. As a parent you need to prepare your child for either. Here are a few other pearls of wisdom:
- Don't assume your first choice school is the same as your child's.
- Have faith in the process. Life always isn't fair. But don't get jealous if your kids friend get in but yours don't. The admissions committees make tough decisions, which are often not transparent.
- Don't buy logos, Tshirts or clothes with the top choice school until you decide to place the deposit.
- Try to keep your search and school choices private. There are lots of haters out there. Especially if your kid gets into a school where their kid doesn't. Avoid the gossip and speculation.
- Enjoy the remaining time with your child. Plan out what you'd like to do for school breaks. Gives you something to do.
You are in such a good place, bravo! This time last year we were driving back from our whirlwind tour/interview trip. Kiddo had yet to decide exactly which schools to which to apply, SSAT scores had not yet been received, and kiddo had a ton of homework to make up for missing a week of school. On top of that most of the essays still had to be written and the idea of submitting music recordings was yet to be conceived. I was still just a sometimes-lurker on this forum and DH was seriously hoping that this BS lark would simply go away.
@AppleNotFar this is us this year!
Waiting for December SSAT scores, essays not started, 3 (maybe 4) schools to tour in January, portfolio still to be assembled. DS is at a K-12 however, so no allowance is made for missed school days or even a lighter workload to finish essays. We have zero guidance in terms of which schools would be appropriate, and absolutely no feedback from the boarding schools. We therefore are casting a wide net, and I’m constantly second-guessing the list. Although he has an older sister in BS, DS is not at all sure that he wants to go to school with her, on the other side of the country. So I’ve done my best to try to explain that, but being a sibling definitely hurts your chances I would think.
The good news (trying to find some!) is that all of the recommendations are done and each writer expressed sincere regret that DS was applying out. He will write his essays over the break and hope for improved SSAT scores, as well as put together his art portfolio. After applying to 10 schools, I’d be happy for him to have a choice between 2.
Once everything is in on January 15th, we will enter a cone of silence on the subject until M10!!!
Don’t let your son think that your happiness is in any way contingent on getting into prep school. And enjoy having him home while you can!
Here’s a thread elaborating on the point @twinsmama makes above:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/13941337#Comment_13941337
I loved the pearls above. Every school is your first choice until you get your acceptances. Don’t use the word “safety” (that one is obvious). I like greenlight, target, reach . . . Once you have made your list–don’t try to get confirmation of your reasoning with anyone else. Don’t let family members questions or comments make you second guess yourself. Make sure as a family you discuss HOW the decision is going to be reached (assuming you have choices)–the child, you, together?
I think that on balance I am happy that DS is not done with the applications yet, so we are still in the “doing” phase and not yet on to the “waiting,” because I expect to be a basket case between January 15 and M10. I pretty much already am except that there is Christmas to deal with first. I think that DS will be so relieved when everything is submitted that he will be happy to not think about BS and applications, chances, etc. for a couple of months, and I will just quietly drive myself crazier day by day. It’s bad enough waiting for the December SSAT scores. Fortunately none of his friends are applying to any of the same schools, and any of them would be good for him, though he definitely has preferences. Clearly this thread was made for me, and I am really trying to avoid this board entirely until hopefully there is some good news 
This is the place to freak out and obsess. Real life is not.
Thanks twinsmama. So my thought was I am honest in that at times I am stressing. If I share that with you’ll then hopefully I won’t spread it to the other people in the family. (Just noticed I forgot to press send). Still worrying a bit. Put so much thought into the schools he applied to and now and again second guessing myself!
Breathe, @sadieshadow ! Everything is going to be OK. Trust me, your kid is going to end up in exactly the right spot. Really!
we are waiting anxiously for M10. My son is too busy with sports to give it much thought this far out. I’m sure it will get worse as the day approaches. Only 39 more days!
I think the students are thankfully more in the moment. I know my son is. His focus is on his current classes and spending time with his friends while he is still going to school locally. Bittersweet that it will be his last season at school of rock, last term of Tae kwon do. There are some endings of course with every step forward.
@sadieshadow I agree, it is bittersweet - and probably for you too. I was surprised that I was sad to be leaving the tennis center where my son had been going for many years. I am glad he is focusing on enjoying the time with his friends!
I am looking forward to M10. Right now, I’m not stressed about if my son will get accepted somewhere. I think he applied at enough schools that something will work out. My stress right now is just not knowing. It’s a little weird not knowing what state my son will live in next year. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around that. I will probably move too, so that contributes to the stress. I’m a planning type of person by nature, so all this wait and see stuff is a bit unsettling for me. I can’t even plan revisit days yet. I need to plan something!!! 
Possibleprepmom. Ditto!!
@PossiblePrepMom I made a calendar with revisit days at the schools so
I could see which ones overlapped and get a sense of which schools DS might revisit once we got decisions. You can find revisit dates on some school calendars.
And make decisions quickly for a Saturday revisit. They fill quickly at some schools.
If your kid did cast that wide net, you may be looking at multiple offers of admission and the corresponding revisits. Something you may want to think about and discuss as a family, if you haven’t already, is how many revisits you’ll want to attend, and the order of priority. The wide net had good results for DC and we decided to go on 4 revisits. By visit #4 we were all toast; we should have had the discipline to limit ourselves to 3. DC actually only wanted to go to 3, and in fact talked DH and I down from 5! Silly parents. We found the revisit days long and exhausting, and DC had a lot less enthusiasm to visit the 2 remaining schools after visiting, and loving, the school that was ultimately picked. So maybe think about this as well: will you be willing to forego the balance of the revisits if your kid says “this is it!”?
After my daughter (and I with the parent essays, of course, and the financial aid forms and taxes—we need 90% FA) finished eight applications by 1/10, 1/15, and 2/1, I thought I could tune out and wait. She seems to be doing that amazingly well, but I am if anything more obsessed. I thought I was doing pretty well not talking about the applications with her, but today I found myself doing the if you got into only school A and B, which would you choose? Only school C vs. the LPS? Dumb stuff. She told me I was stressing her out. . . . It’s hard to wait and keep quiet. I can identify with the other posts! But there aren’t enough of them. I keep coming back to these threads, and they are disappointingly quiet.