<p>My 18 year old son who was just starting out at a great school down south, recently flew home because of the tragic death of his best friend. The friend died suddenly from complications of HINI. He is devastated and will have missed a whole week of school by the time we fly him back this Saturday. Any advice on how to reemerge him back to college life. How hard will the makeup work be? He is a Biology major and is in two labs. I am very worried he will be griefing too much to handle the stress of campus life. Are the colleges at all understanding? We now wish we took out insurance.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your sons loss. I could cry reading this post because one of my children also lost a friend to complications of this flu. It was not a close friend but the reality that he had been healthy just days before was a huge reminder of the fragility of life. I really dont even know what to say to you other than to be kind and supportive which I am sure I dont even need to say. I would remind him to contact each of his professors and let them know of the situation. I wish you and your son the very best and special hugs to your son.</p>
<p>Thankyou momma-3, your thoughts help. My heart is broken for him. This was the saddest funeral I have ever gone to. This family lost a beautiful 18 year old boy who was just strting out. They are being very brave. My son misses his friend so so much. It is hard for him to accept. The ripple effect from these tragedies can be like a sonami.</p>
<p>I’m sorry about your son’s friend. I can’t even imagine starting college and still adjusting to this whole new life, and then something horrible like this happens. </p>
<p>Most colleges offer therapy or counseling services, so ask if there is someone he could see and talk to (assuming he’s ok with this, of course). I’ve noticed guys tend to bottle their feelings up more and grieve less openly, and since he just started freshmen year, he probably doesn’t have any close friends and might feel isolated. </p>
<p>as for academics…introductory biology can be time-consuming and involves a lot of memorization, so he might feel overwhelmed between adjusting to college life and grieving. </p>
<p>I understand money is an issue, but if he became very depressed or something, I guess time off would be beneficial…many college freshmen feel depressed, have trouble making friends, adjusting (look at half the threads on this forum) and he has more to deal with than the average person. Or instead of taking time off, transferring to a college close to home and being near family might be helpful. I hope it doesn’t get to that point, but something to keep in mind. </p>
<p>you might want to post this on the Parents Forum, i think they’ll be more helpful.</p>
<p>i’m sure considering the circumstances he could reduce his courseload. having less work might help him grieve, and it would make up for the missed classes and the fact that he’ll probably have difficulty concentrating on schoolwork for a while.</p>
<p>Have son call the Dean of Students, or given the circumstances, make the call yourself. They have helped families with similar situation, and can advise. They can provide assistance, recommendations and can contact profs about the best way to make up work and move forward.</p>
<p>is h1n1 that bad??</p>
<p>Even though there have been deaths I think really H1N1 is overblown. Come on guys, it’s just a flu.</p>
<p>futurenyustudent— HOW COULD YOU POST THAT MOST INSENSITIVE POST? How can it be overblown when you are reading about the death of a young otherwise healthy college student passing away. </p>
<p>To ibnhf1- I hope your son can manage to get back to school this semester. It might actually be better that he is around a normal routine of class and work. Once again hugs to your family and your son is in my thoughts since I read this post. This is one of those times when there really is no great suggestions because it involves the bonds of friendship and love. </p>
<p>Also, there are some very knowledgeable people on the parent forum that may have some good suggestions.</p>
<p>Tell him to use the counseling center, which would offer the support he needs, and also could provide written documentation if he needs to withdraw from some classes, postpone tests or homework assignments. You will not be able to arrange this for him. He needs to do it himself. </p>
<p>Some colleges only offer excused absences if a close relative has died. One also had to provide proof – a funeral program. This was the case at the public university where I taught. The policy was in lace because so many students try to abuse the system, so his going to the counseling center could be important for his grades as well as his well being.</p>
<p>I know and have taught students who managed to academically succeed despie having the sudden death of friends and even their parents during the semester, so it is possible to succeed academically despite suffering deep grief. However, getting help from the counseling center would be important especially for a freshman who presumably doesn’t yet have close friends to help support him. Freshmen also are so young that they may not know how to help a friend under such circumstances.</p>
<p>Post on parents forum, too, as there are people who can give advice based on their kids’ similar experiences.</p>