<p>On a pragmatic, real iife basis, few kids or parents will press charges against each other. So I doubt this would happen unless, untll the relationship goes down. </p>
<p>There really isn’t anything you can do about this. I had to watch a dear friend take the hit, she and her daughter both for taking out too many loans. Yes, I did warn, but like Cassandra’s warnings, they were not believed and to have pushed it any further would have just stirred even more resentment that I did cause. It’s none of your business is the bottom line.</p>
<p>Definitely make sure you come back and let us know of any story developments.</p>
<p>Periwinkle, how much credit can an 18 y/o with no income really get? Especially if her cosigner is already completely over leveraged?</p>
<p>I can’t see it being more than a thousand dollars or so. Or zero- the banks usually push secured credit cards nowadays.</p>
<p>Agree with you fundamentally, just wondering what she can actually do in practice. Maybe they were cards that she got for her daughter but never used before she was over leveraged, and now shes charging them up and her daughter’s name is attached.</p>
<p>If it’s true the mother secured credit cards in the daughter’s name, she may have lied about the daughter’s income? Or she’s used the daughter’s name and social security number for a home mortgage?</p>
<p>In any case, the mother may want the daughter to attend an expensive college so she can get her hands on the child’s student loan money. It is very odd to press one’s child to take out loans to attend a $40,000 college when an excellent CC is down the street–especially when the parent knows she’s deep in debt. It’s irrational.</p>
<p>Identity theft and parents wanting their kids to go into debt for more college than they can afford. I’ve run into this in my family - it’s amazing how controlling relatives can be over long periods of time.</p>
<p>All, thanks for the replies. Here is the story with the credit card(s). My friend told me she had obtained a card in her daughter’s name. She told her daughter and me that she got it to establish credit for her daughter, and would put small charges on it every month, then pay them off. Sounded reasonable and forward-thinking. But I think she was also hoping that by doing this, her d would qualify for big student loans. Then I noticed that she started buying big-ticket items that she can’t afford (and oddly, doesnt need), that total upwards of $3000 in my estimation, all in the past month. Do I know for sure she used her d’s card for these? No. But I dont see any other way she could have bought these things in her situation.</p>
<p>Also, she rents, so there is no home equity or mortgage involved. </p>
<p>She is definitely not trying to steal the student loan money. She really wants her daughter at this “prestigious” college. They both talk about it all the time to anyone who will listen. </p>
<p>I know she sounds totally delusional, and she can be sometimes, in her denial of her actual situation. I think she is very invested in the image she presents to the world, not because she is shallow, but because it gives her a sense of control. I also think she uses “retail therapy” to alleviate stress, which of course causes more stress…</p>
<p>How on earth did she get a credit card in her daughter’s name with a $3000 + limit? Since her daughter has no credit history this seems implausible.
My son, 21, just graduated and starts his new job next month - he had to pay a “no-credit history fee” to rent an apartment and when he tried to get a credit card from Chase where he has had a checking account for 4 years they refused him - because he had no credit history. Gone are the days when college grads were flooded with credit card applications…</p>
<p>There are free credit counseling services that may be of benefit from your friend, if she’s willing. Our D was able to get a CC in her name alone, Costco AmEx. She has no job and no income. The person who was handing out the application told her she could put for income the amount her parents pay for her tuition, room and board. She did and got approved on the spot with a 4 figure credit limit (which she has used very responsibly).</p>
<p>I wonder if there are possibly any mental health issues, with her purchasing expensive items that she can’t afford and really doesn’t need, like a shopaholic (like an alcoholic except addicted to the thrill of shopping)? </p>
<p>Our S has had no trouble getting credit cards either. He has a gold AmEx that is fee-free for the 1st 2 years. He did get a job and the credit card offers kept rolling in. The only credit history he had at the time he was getting the offers was being linked my one of my credit cards from freshman year of college.</p>
<p>I’m sorry I’m not aware of the names of the FREE credit counseling services, but am aware that they are available in all states. Perhaps someone will post the link for them.</p>
<p>Hlmom, I recommended credit-counseling and debt consolidation last time she asked to borrow money from me. She was not interested. I also suggested she look into declaring bankruptcy. I dont think she will change her ways, but I really do hope her d doesnt go down with her. I have offered her the name of a good therapist for her and/or her d in the past, but she said therapy is too expensive. Ironic, huh?</p>
<p>There are counseling services often available on a sliding scale basis, down to free if unable to pay anything. Clergy and/or ministers/rabbis may also have suggestions on free counseling and therapy.</p>
<p>If you’re close to the D, perhaps the D can encourage her mom to get counseling & credit/debt help. It will affect the D when all of this comes home to roost for the mom, whether or not the D is actually dragged down or not.</p>
<p>my 19 yr old college kid has 4 CCs in his name, no cosigner with total limit of $6k… it is possible. I had him as an authorized user a year or so before he applied for his own, that must have been a big help. USAA was his first with just $500 limit, but 6 months using that opened doors with Chase and AMEX. I highly advise putting your kids as authorized users at a young age…and you don’t even have to give them the card…</p>
<p>Our kids keep getting credit card offers all the time. D has only held very limited positions and never made more than a few thousand dollars total in her lifetime. She was added as an authorized user to my account back when she was a freshman in HS. She still has a card linked to my account and one in her own name from AmEx with a 4 figure credit limit which is higher than the Costco employee who gave her the form to complete. </p>
<p>Our niece had a ton of credit cards when she was in college but she decided to close all of them and went from having a top credit rating to having an awful one and being unable to get a credit card, even though she now has a full-time job, which she has held for over a year and she has no debt (never has had any). It’s crazy! She can’t even get a Costco AmEx card!</p>
<p>It’s possible that in the last month she got another credit card which offered large cash-back rewards, either in her name or the daughter’s name. Possibly the “credit” established for card #1 may have led to the offer for card #2 – sometimes these are teaser-type offers, where you get extra cash back for the charges during the first month. (I know a person a little bit more savvy financially who manipulates credit cards around & tells me about it – that is, maybe getting card #1 which offers X rewards and 0 interest for a term, maxes out the rewards and then later uses a balance-transfer offer from card #2 to pay off card #1. It’s tricky business, but might explain the sudden charges.)</p>
<p>If you are close to the daughter, you might show her how to get order a free credit report via <a href=“https://www.annualcreditreport.com%5B/url%5D”>https://www.annualcreditreport.com</a> – the d. could check on her own credit and that would show outstanding balances. Or suggest that the d. sign up for creditkarma.com - also free, and they do credit monitoring – so if she signed up for that I believe she would get an alert any time there was a change (like a new account added) in her name. (I actually like the creditkarma idea better, because it’s a great educational site about credit, and you could introduce it to the d. in the guise of “helping” her find loans. If she gets bad news as a result of logging on, then it is the site that is the bearer of the bad news, not you)</p>
<p>If there is stuff going on that the d. doesn’t know about & doesn’t want happening, then the d. might be able to put a stop to it by contacting the credit card companies. But you don’t have to tell the d. what to do – I think you will have done enough just making sure that the d. has the tools needed to be able to monitor her own credit. Beyond that, it’s not really your problem and you would probably only alienate both mother and daughter by meddling.</p>
<p>"Her daughter is aware that her mom is trying to take out loans in her name, but being 18, does not realize the gravity of being indebted to this level. Her mom talks a good game about how she will help her pay them in the future, and they will be spread over 25 years (!), so won’t be so bad. "</p>
<p>Sad situation. I’m not sure who would co-sign a loan like that so most likely the loans won’t be an issue… However the D is 18 and there has been plenty of stuff in the news about college graduates being overloaded with student loans. I have to believe the D has heard or read some of it. She has to have some idea that if mom doesn’t come through she will be on the hook. I think the Facebook links are about as far as you can go without over stepping the friendship line. I hope it works out for the D.</p>
<p>MichiganGeorgia, my fear is she will talk a family member into signing. She is trying to convince people by saying it’s only a signature, and she will replace them as cosigner in a year, when she “is sure” she will be debt-free. She acts like it’s no big deal and is upset that no one is willing to help her out. I tried to tell her it’s a risky situation for anyone, and would affect their capacity to borrow for other things during that time. She doesnt get it. </p>
<p>As for the daughter being savvy enough to research and read up on appropriate debt levels, this is not likely. She was barely able to complete her college apps and was unaware that she would receive decisions online. I had to explain to her how to log in to the college portals and check her status</p>
<p>There’s a reason you asked this question, yet in all the further posts you seem to have reasons not to tell the daughter what her mother is doing. My take on it is a bit different from what most others have said. </p>
<p>My feeling is, as an adult who sees a child being abused it is not only your right to put a stop to it, but your responsibility. The mother is abusing the daughter’s trust, has committed identity theft and fraud. From what you describe, the daughter is not sophisticated enough to either discover this for herself, or to protect herself.</p>
<p>You will likely lose your friendship, but is that more important than protecting the daughter from further harm? Yes, the daughter should press charges and get her “name” cleared. It’s easier done now than later when things get even more complicated and/or the daughter (who is now old enough to sign a contract) is actually on the hook for debt she herself signs for.</p>
<p>The mother is a criminal and should be brought to justice.</p>
<p>It sounds like your friend definitely has a mental disorder, most likely a personality disorder. If this is true, she really may be unable to see the flaw in her thinking. Also…if this is the only adult the daughter has been exposed to when it comes to financial advise, she is being set up to follow in her mothers foot steps. If the girl is like family to you, then you need to step in. If this woman truly is your friend, then she will eventually appreciate it.</p>
<p>OP- I don’t know if student loans are different than regular loans but I would think that once you co-sign you are on the hook until that debt is paid. In other words she wouldn’t be able to replace them as the co-signer. Hopefully the relatives understand that.</p>
<p>If “she was barely able to complete her college apps” it might be better for her start out at a community college first. Otherwise she may have problems and then she would be stuck with student loans and no degree.</p>
<p>Perhaps talking to her about what her career plans are and then having her look up what the potential salary might be minus the loan payments might work. Also I don’t think student loans go away when filing bankruptcy so D needs to know that.</p>
<p>Student loans don’t go away in bankruptcy. They will be there until they are paid off, forgiven because the graduate works in one of the fields where that is possible to arrange, or the graduate dies. Period.</p>
<p>Co-signed educational loans don’t go away in bankruptcy either. They will be there until they are paid off or both of the co-signers are dead. If the daughter co-signs anything, she and the co-signer should each hold life insurance policies for the value of the loan on the other person.</p>