Don't get these friends' priorities

<p>Some good friends have a child going off to college last year. The mom told me that they expect their child, who is an only child, to have 80K in loans when he graduates - and they just spent 40K remodeling their kitchen. </p>

<p>I know it's their choice, their money.</p>

<p>But I really don't get it. If they had put off the kitchen, the kid could have so much less debt. With interest accruing on the debt, this will really add up.</p>

<p>I'm not even sure how this borrowing can happen, as how can the kid get a 20K loan each year.</p>

<p>Do you have any friends, close or not, who did something like this? What were they thinking??</p>

<p>There have been threads in the past where the parent(s) pushed the student to attend the parent’s choice of school, even though it would result in large debt, when the student could and wants to go to a much lower cost school (e.g. in-state public, automatic big scholarship school, school with better financial aid, etc.).</p>

<p>There have been other threads in the past where the parent(s) wanted to force the student to take student loans even if the student chose a low cost school that was way under budget.</p>

<p>She willnot be able to borrow so much without a cosigner.
Which of course means, she will not be the only one liable for the debt.</p>

<p>Maybe they borrowed the 40k also. </p>

<p>Wouldn’t be my choice but if I’ve learned one thing having gone through this college thing several times, it’s that
people don’t always tell the truth. Oh and also, everyone’s choices are different…and there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with someone else’s choice. </p>

<p>If you don’t understand that there are parents whose number one priority is not funding their child’s college education, then I’m unsure if you will “get it”. Families have different priorities. Families have different values. It differs. </p>

<p>I do not know your friend. I do not know your friend’s financial situation. I do not know what they have discussed with their child. I do not know if they plan to help their child fund his schooling. I do not know if they are already providing funds. I do not know whether they are aware of the financial bind their child will be in. I do not know what their game plan is. As you can see, there are a lot of unknowns. </p>

<p>But, I hope their kitchen turned out well and they were able to get the features they desired. I hope they got some good bang for their buck in the renovation and it pays off in the future when they want to sell it. Got to love a good renovation!</p>

<p>I have plenty of friends who do things very differently than I do. I don’t really think too deeply about their choices nor do I compare their decisions to my own. Families are different, children are different and certainly financial circumstances are different. So what they might have been thinking when they renovated their kitchen instead of reducing their child’s college debt is something they could answer better than you or I.</p>

<p>It will improve the quality of housing the kid may end up sharing while he’s paying off the student loans, right?</p>

<p>I’ve read on CC that some parents do renovations and assume that spending down their cash and/or taking loans will get their child more grant aid. Maybe that was their plan and it didn’t work out.</p>

<p>@SomeOldGuy‌ very nice.</p>

<p>Since their freshman could only borrow $5500 in her name…any additional loan was either the parent loan, or cosigned by the parent.</p>

<p>I don’t see this as a priority thing since the parent is on the hook for these additional loans too.</p>

<p>Did they tell how much they spent on their kitchen?? Thats a little gauche.</p>

<p>They may be combining Parent PLUS loans and the student’s actual federal loans in one lump when they discuss the student debt too. </p>

<p>I don’t see a problem with it. For all we know they DO have the money for the kid and will pay off the loan when he graduates. It could be part of some kind of incentive program–do well and we will forgive your debt at the end.</p>

<p>A couple of years ago I HAD to renovate my tiny kitchen (the cost was a lot less than $40K). There were structural issues, mice getting in from outside, things completely falling apart. Could I have put it off so I could set the money aside for the kids? I suppose–but for how long? 10 years until they both graduated?? Our everyday quality of life was actually very tied up in having or not having a functional kitchen, so I didn’t even think twice about it. I would do the same thing again if I had to.</p>

<p>Maybe they are planning on moving? A lot of families do reevaluate their living situation once the kids move out, and that might involve throwing enough money into the home to make it comparable to others in the neighborhood and thus saleable. I’m sure that would look weird to outsiders but I think we may find ourselves in that situation in a few years. </p>

<p>Since the kid cannot borrow that kind of money on his own, it means that they are really doing so. They may well plan to pay off all or part of the loans for the kid when he graduates. As someone said above, it could be an incentive that they think he needs.</p>

<p>Of course, I speak as someone who is dying for a kitchen renovation, but whose resources all seem to go for helping S with grad school costs, first car, etc by loaning him the money via our low-interest HELOC.</p>

<p>yes, we have had family friend take similar actions with debts. Bought a house they could only pay for if hubby worked 75 hours every wk, wife would not work outside home. They had 2 kids, oops! Not exactly planned in the budget, bought new cars every year and a half, and all the latest phones and electronic gadgets. They simply filed bankrupcy a couple times over the years, and all of society paid higher bills because of their recklessness. Debt didn’t scare them because they really didn’t pay it all.</p>

<p>Many people, not just those with kids going to college, live with maximum debt. They finance everything, from vacations to furniture to braces. I worked with a guy, at a FINANCE company, who ‘needed’ to move to a more expensive house because he wasn’t getting a big enough tax break on his home mortgage.</p>

<p>It is a different mindset than I have. My father lives this way, always maxing out every opportunity to borrow, so I know it well. And look how we reward these people. Those of us who have saved assets may receive less in FA at some colleges. Those who borrow for college get to deduct the interest so pay less in taxes. Federal loans are available regardless of whether you have any hope of repaying it.</p>

<p>This past year I had to renovate my kitchen. A d/w leak ruined cabinets. I got Money from insurance, but it cost 2x as much (I had builder grade cabinets and countertop). Fortunately, my son is out of college. It meant tightening the belt again; no visits to the mall, no fancy restaurants, dyeing my own hair most of the time, bringing lunch to work daily, all the tricks mentioned here on CC. It helps that, as a single mom, I’ve always been frugal. I also have an aversion to raiding my investment accounts. </p>

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<pre><code>voltaire wrote:
“Excellently observed,” answered Candide; “but let us take care of our garden.”
</code></pre>

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<p>Unless the gardener themselves seeks advice from CC? ;)</p>