<p>I was at a show for my D this past weekend (Mrs. Harcourt in Anything Goes), and was speaking to a mom about to go through the process of applying to MT schools with her senior-to-be daughter. She mentioned that her husband was having difficulty reconciling himself to the whole idea of college for MT, job prospects, etc. So as a (hopeful) public service to dads out there that are becoming involved in this whole audition/college application process and may feel a bit lost, I thought I'd try to share some insights I gained going through all this the past year.</p>
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<li><p>If your child has a gift for performing, and others see that in him or her, let your child go for it. I had qualms about my D going into MT; she was a top student in high school, great in math and science, and at one point she thought about engineering, which I would have loved. But she had no real passion for those, and had a passion for and gift for performing. And we had several professionals in MT tell us she had the ability and talent to do this. So I let go of my fears, and supported her choice. She would have been miserable if I had forced her into anything else.</p></li>
<li><p>Your child will come away with a usable college degree. For you dads that are concerned your S or D will wait tables the rest of their life, let me share what one dean at Illinois Wesleyan told us during the audition. He told the kids he categorically rejects that concept, and that when they graduate they will have a 4 year degree from a prestigious academic institution that will make them marketable in a variety of areas. Many of their MT grads work in performing arts, but some have been successful in other areas like PR, etc. I'd also recommend looking at SUNY-Fredonia's website and reading an article about the job skills one learns as a performing arts major, and there are over 20 (things like not being afraid to work under pressure or deadlines) that are very useful to employers. So getting a BFA MT degree will be a marketable commodity. </p></li>
<li><p>Get involved in the process. MY wife is an organizational genius so I didn't do much of the scheduling of auditions, etc. But I did try to help in terms of checking websites for financial information/scholarships, academic requirements, etc. We made this a family activity of sorts; my D and her mom handled most of the load but it was good for her dad to be involved. I know my D felt supported because of that.</p></li>
<li><p>Know when to bite your tongue. There were times I'd try to offer advice on her audition material, etc, and then I realized that: 1. I had no idea what the heck I was talking about and 2. we had a coach for her that was doing that. So I learned early on that it was best to just be encouraging about her songs, monologues, etc and not try to be critical. And above all, bite your tongue at auditions! This was a specific directive from her audition coach, and from my D. At one audition, my D and I sat at lunch with other auditionees and their parents, along with kids in the MT program. It was a question and answer thing, and I followed orders and sat quietly. One set of parents kept asking question after question, and their D leaned over to mine and whispered: I wish my parents were like your dad. My D was so proud!! Of course you will have questions, but better to ask those in private and not embarrass your child in public, especially when he or she is already nervous about the audition! And do not ever ask anyone about how your S or D did at the audition - a huge no-no! The only thing I did was thank any students who served as guides for their time, and thanked any faculty for having us for the audition. </p></li>
<li><p>Make sure your kid gets to be a kid. It will be your son/daughter's last year of HS. They won't ever get that back. So if they fret about going to a football game or on a date rather than rehearsing on a Friday night, encourage them to do the former. I think one of the things that helped my D get through the year, especially through audition time, is she still had those outlets with her friends. </p></li>
<li><p>Go on at least some of the auditions. I took my D to two auditions and to one scholarship competition. It took a lot to juggle my schedule, but I am extremely glad I did so. I will remember those trips in the car for the rest of my life. We were able to share some special time together, and talk about things we may never had taken the time to talk about had it not been for those trips. Do this not just for your child, but for yourself.</p></li>
<li><p>Be there. When your S or D starts to get responses from auditions, just be there. They are going to be disappointed; pretty much every child I know or met at auditions did not get into MT programs they really wanted, and that hurts. So just be there, offer a shoulder to cry on, give them a big hug. Don't judge, don't rip programs apart for not taking your baby, they don't want to hear that. Just be there, and tell them you believe in them. </p></li>
<li><p>Decide early on what bank you want to rob to pay for all of the trips, etc (had to have a little fun with this). But seriously, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be financially, and to me the experiences we got to have together was well worth the investment.</p></li>
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<p>So dads, hang in there. Know that you have a great kid who has been blessed with wonderful talents and gifts. And he or she is going to make it in the world through using those gifts. You're going to look back on this coming year as one of the special ones in yours and your child's life. Good luck to all.</p>