<p>He submitted it as himself oddly enough. He volunteered his name at the beginning of the email and everything. I don't know what he was thinking.</p>
<p>beatlesguy, what on earth do you mean by that?</p>
<p>i am completely baffled by that statement. what does being asian have anything to do with being a crazy person? that was so out-of-line, i can't even comprehend it.</p>
<p>you're Colbert Nation...put him On Notice!
naw, seriously though, that is awful! I'm sorry to know such things occur in the arena of college admissions. best of luck to you!</p>
<p>Maybe I'm just a horrible person, but I really want to see that letter, haha. For my own sick amusement. :)</p>
<p>Your friend is crazy!</p>
<p>^^ i was thinking the same thing...didn't want to ask lol</p>
<p>beatlesguy1234...what an ignorant statement. jeez.</p>
<p>Reading this story, the thing that throws me off is the notion this guy is crazy. Yeah, he did something that is crazy in the sense that he probably just absolutely guaranteed that he won't get admitted to the school in question. The ethical situation is pretty clear: you trusted him because he is your friend. He turned around and offered up this information to the school because he thought that this would enhance his chance to get in. He probably figured, as is indicated by admissions officers, that colleges don't want to accept too many people from the same school. There was a lot of logic in his thinking except that he didn't think through the ethical implications and how it will look to the admissions officers. In other words, it was crazy, but it would have been really smart and not crazy if he had gone about it differently.</p>
<p>I don't think you need to rough this guy up. You just need to sit him down and explain to him that what he did was really wrong as a friend. And you can tell him, furthermore, that you know exactly why he did it but that sorry to say anybody in the admissions office of the school is going to see right through what he did to the ethics of it. In other words, tell him he probably did the one thing he could have done to guarantee that he won't get in. And tell him you hope he learned a lesson about being a good friend and that if he did you'll be able to forgive him and move on. That will all be "roughing up" enough. If he's worth having as a friend, he'll think about what you said and feel like total s***.</p>
<p>He sounds like no real friend, but only you can judge that. Chances are though you'll go to different colleges and forget each other over time.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Don't want to be racist or anything, but these type of people tend to be Asians. (Though not all Asians are like this)
[/quote]
</p>
<p>What an amazingly valuable point to raise in this thread, thanks.</p>
<p>The funny thing is that I've already been accepted to the school. What could he possibly gain? It's not like they were going to rescind my acceptance because I got into an Ivy League school. He had everything to gain and nothing to lose in that situation. </p>
<p>I probably won't trust this guy with information again because of this. I kind of regret even recommending the school to him but I did so because as a friend I saw it as a fit for him. So, here's a lesson for you, if you get into a school, don't recommend it to your friends. :P</p>
<p>I've never heard of anyone as self-serving and outright despicable as him. It's people like him that should never be accepted to ANY college. That shows absolutely no character, moral, and ethics. If you don't have any of the three, you aren't human and you certainly don't deserve an education by any means, much less to live. Sabotaging someone else= 1. never work because you look like the a-hole (excuse the language) and 2. shows the lowest form of disloyalty befitting the lowest animal. I hope you get into the Ivy. Best of luck! :) </p>
<p>P.S: I wouldn't want a friend like that=You should probably never see/talk to that person ever again, that little low-life.</p>
<p>that's really a lame act</p>
<p>I've removed several posts that violated our terms of service by using profanity or being racist. Please confine comments to those within our guidelines or this thread will be closed. Our terms of service are under FAQ above left of your screen.</p>
<p>Colbert Nation, I applaud your level-headed response to the whole totally whack situation, good work. Though it doesn't seem like you've been harmed, so I guess your "bemusement" is the appropriate response. I think if I were in your shoes I'd act more ****ed-off.</p>
<p>speaking as a fairly forgiving person myself, I wouldn't suggest just abandoning a (longtime?) friendship based on this one act. There's a small possibility that he really did think it was okay to inform the college on your behalf because he thought they knew you well enough to determine you'd definitely go to the Ivy. In that case, maybe he was just trying to take care of the email for you and didn't mean any harm.</p>
<p>It probably is more likely your friend really cares about this college and was trying to help his chances, though. However, he probably did this whole thing in a moment of irrationality and insecurity, and probably thought he wasn't doing you much harm since you'd already gotten into your top-choice Ivy school. Even friends can sometimes make really bad mistakes, especially if their own futures are a stake. Your friend isn't necessarily the "lowest of the low", just human I guess. So I'd tell him how you feel about his actions and then try to forgive and forget.</p>
<p>Well this gives us sth to think bout! If a friend can do tht, what about someone who dislikes u even mildly? We are not exactly surrounded by angels. Why do people make college admissions so ugly sometimes? It is a process in which dreams are supposed to be built, and not hopes to be shattered. U can't even say now days which college u like more these days even in CC I figure (:
Well, I respect u for still considering this person ur friend, and behaving in such a honorable manner!
Ughh, I hate people like ur friend who behave in a such despicable way.</p>
<p>I agree with muzicgirl. Okay, what the friend did was stupid. But everyone does stupid things, and to throw them under the bus for one mistake is being seriously judgmental. I'm glad my friends aren't like the lot of you, because things done in moments of horrific stupidity shouldn't cost people longtime friendships. How much damage did he do anyway? You're basically in at the Ivy--seriously, how many people get likely letters--and you talked to the people at the other school. It seems to me that he made a stupid mistake that amounts to very little, and everyone is just getting on their high horses and beating him into the mud.</p>
<p>Take a baseball bat to his car.
Then to him.</p>
<p>
[quote]
speaking as a fairly forgiving person myself, I wouldn't suggest just abandoning a (longtime?) friendship based on this one act. There's a small possibility that he really did think it was okay to inform the college on your behalf because he thought they knew you well enough to determine you'd definitely go to the Ivy. In that case, maybe he was just trying to take care of the email for you and didn't mean any harm.</p>
<p>It probably is more likely your friend really cares about this college and was trying to help his chances, though. However, he probably did this whole thing in a moment of irrationality and insecurity, and probably thought he wasn't doing you much harm since you'd already gotten into your top-choice Ivy school. Even friends can sometimes make really bad mistakes, especially if their own futures are a stake. Your friend isn't necessarily the "lowest of the low", just human I guess. So I'd tell him how you feel about his actions and then try to forgive and forget.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I agree with musicgirl, but with a big caveat: don't let him off easily by being silent and giving an implied forgiveness. Read what I wrote above. If you want to be a real friend to someone yourself you don't always talk about the things that are easy. </p>
<p>You don't have to cut him out of your life. You don't have to take a baseball bat to his car. Tell him you forgive him after you've pointed out gently how wrong what he did was in terms of your friendship. Don't buy this thing about he doesn't know why he did it. He knows da** well why he did it. All the punishment he'll need is to be reminded that by doing what he did he probably assured himself that he won't get in, even though he clearly wanted to enhance his chances of getting in by doing what he did.</p>
<p>And if he doesn't respond well or by staying friends to you after your talk, he's really not worth having as a friend anyway. </p>
<p>If he really was in fact a good friend of yours beforehand, you should definitely forgive him ultimately. But you owe it to yourself and him and your friendship to not just sweep it under the rug. In fact, you'll find the quality of your friendship out if you do gently confront him and find out what his long-term reaction is.</p>
<p>
[quote]
It seems to me that he made a stupid mistake that amounts to very little, and everyone is just getting on their high horses and beating him into the mud.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I agree with this completely. In the overall picture, it's a little thing. But for a friend to breach a confidence is not a little thing for a friendship. It's a big deal. To say one would never talk to someone who did this again is way too extreme. Loyalty and friendship deserve better than that. On the other hand, if the guy's not really more than just a sometimes study mate and hasn't indicated in several other ways that he's actually a friend, it is probably time just to take this act as a sign of what the friendship is really about and move on.</p>