<p>Hi! So my mom and I went and toured a bunch of schools over spring break last year. One of the schools we visited was University of Richmond. I liked it but didn't love it and decided to keep it on my list as a possibility. Now its time to apply to college and my mom really wants me to apply to Richmond. She thinks I could possibly get a good scholarship and it fits with all of the other schools I love. The problem is one of my very close friends is dying to go to Richmond. She has decent grades and test scores but mine are higher and her number one has always been Richmond. My mom thinks I'll regret not applying to Richmond but I dont want to get in if she doesn't. I don't know if I should just not tell her I applied or what but then that could cause problems in the future if I did get in...I know this is kind of crazy sounding but I know I would be upset if one of my friends with better scores than me applied to my number one. What do I do?? Any advice is wonderful! Thank you!</p>
<p>Deciding on where to apply (much less attend) because of your friend’s possibilities — is a very poor reason to guide your steps, thinkpink.</p>
<p>Regardless of what your friend does/goes, you need to do what’s best for you and your circumstances (i.e. get a big scholarship possibly).</p>
<p>And if you got in and your friend doesn’t and is upset with you, then she’s incredibly petty and selfish and doesn’t deserve your friendship. I hope you wouldn’t treat anyone like that either. The idea that you might “take” her spot is preposterous. I hope you don’t think someone who is more qualified applies to your top choice is diminishing your chances either and is worthy of your disdain. That’s equally preposterous.</p>
<p>T26E4, okay thank you! I keep having to remind myself that college admissions isn’t a competition and I’m not “going against” people at my school that are applying to the same colleges.</p>
<p>This is not a case of you already got into your #1 school and you want to see what other schools you could get into. I would call that trophy hunting. You don’t know what schools you will get into yet. I hope it doesn’t happen, but what if you don’t get into your top choices? I think that’s why your mom says that you may regret not to apply to Richmond.</p>
<p>Also, there is no reason to think that Richmond would not accept both of you, if both of you have attractive applications. Nor is there any guaranty that Richmond would accept your friend even if you did not apply. There is even a chance that you could both apply, and that they would accept her over you–once your stats are above a certain threshold, it often becomes more a question of perceived “fit” and they might like her essays better than yours, etc.</p>
<p>So you should definitely apply to any schools you want to apply to, and do so with a clear conscience.</p>
<p>Agree with above posters, don’t just apply to a school because you’re scared your friend will be upset. It’s YOUR business, not hers. If they’re a real friend, they’ll support you like you support them. If you want to apply, apply. But if you don’t apply, just make sure it wasn’t because of your friend.</p>
<p>Just to reinforce: for every college where you apply, there is someone who considers it their number #1 choice. If you knew someone that fit the description for every school on your list, would that keep you from applying? Are you willing to let you friend’s dream keep you from going to college? Or force you into a college that isn’t a food fit because you don’t get into your top choice?</p>
<p>Not only should you apply, but you should cheerfully tell your friend that you are applying. There is a possibility you could both end up there together, and have a great time. If she knows Richmond is not your top choice, but you are considering it as part of your list, perhaps she would accept your help in choosing a couple of backups for herself.</p>
<p>If she doesn’t get in, you would have helped her find a good fit for her (and maybe a year in, she might thank you for helping find a place she loves too). Consider that if Richmond isn’t your top choice, but you end up there, and she doesn’t, it means that BOTH of you didn’t get your top choice. If she is really a good friend, she will be happy for you - if she isn’t, she’s not really that good of a friend. Your mother is right, you might regret the decision not to apply, and that regret could ruin your friendship just as much as her not getting in.</p>
<p>Your friend is not competing against you, last year they had 9,431 applications. So there is lots of competition at many good schools. You both need to apply to the schools that meet your needs both academic and financial.
You mom is right about Richmond, 28% of students get non-need based scholarships and the average amount is $23,000!
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Friends support each other in their hopes and dreams. You guys will get through this!</p>