<p>My kids already know they get 4 years and they are done. I am two for two so far.
They also know I reserve the right to pull the plug at any time for any reason. I don’t need a contract for that.</p>
<p>I still feel puzzled at the adversarial tone of some posters.</p>
<p>I like this Navajo explanation of child rearing: Steer them back on the path with a feather.</p>
<p>Sometimes we need to do that over and over again, but I don’t think we need a cattle prod.</p>
<p>If my kids are having difficulties I want to help them not threaten them.</p>
<p>I am going to make seeing my son’s grades a precondition of paying for college, because in high school he would often slack in his efforts, not stay focused, did not take it seriously. He is a senior now and seems to finally understand that he needs to be responsible and put the effort in.</p>
<p>But college will be a new experience for him. Being independent, self sufficient, and having many distractions, I’m sure. If I am paying all that money, I think it’s only reasonable to confirm he is staying on track.</p>
<p>All the other stuff though, they are adults. And they can try alcohol, recreationally drink, tobacco is legal (though yucky)… and tell an adult with raging young adult hormones that they have to take some kind of chastity pledge?? Puhleeze! Learning about adult relationships is just as an important part of growing up. You can’t keep them as emotionally stunted little quasi-adolescents forever.</p>
<p>Give them the respect they deserve, remember, someday you’ll be old and they’ll be monitoring your activities and telling you what you can and can’t do. You won’t want to be treated as a child either :-)</p>
<p>We never established a contract, but there has been an implicit understanding that only four years of college would be paid for unless there were some extraordinary circumstances.</p>
<p>The idea of a GPA requirement, insisting on study abroad, and regulating morality seems weird and unnatural to me. No nookie? Come on. These are young adults. Forming relationships is what young adults do. It’s hardwired into them. As for study abroad, my son was not interested because it didn’t mesh well with his technical major, and my daughter gave up on the idea because it would interfere with getting good summer internships after her junior year – both of which are legitimate arguments against it.</p>
<p>The whole idea of detailed contracts with people of college age just doesn’t seem right to me. We’re supposed to be letting them become independent, aren’t we?</p>
<p>my daughter’s contract reads like this:</p>
<p>" I promise to be thankful that I am going away to the college of my choice for 4 years. I promise to take full advantage of every opportunity and also to have a lot of fun."</p>