You said you are proud of what you have done. That is what matters. You had no control over the process, and you got into four great colleges. Unless you are Malia or Malala, you should not be surprised by your results, because you applied to a bunch of reach schools. You did your best, so reward yourself by getting excited about the schools you were accepted to.
I know if is tough now, but you have to keep in mind that you have very good choices. You can get to the same places from the schools that accepted you as from the ones that did not. Top notch people don’t all come from the Ivy League. W&M produced Jon Stewart and Thomas Jefferson, UVA produced Tina Fey and Edgar Allen Poe. Former PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem went to Richmond.
And who knows, perhaps Williams (the best of your waitlist candidates) will come through.
Focus on what is in front of you and not behind and you’ll do fine.
How were your essays?
HOW you go to school is more important than WHERE you go to school. You will have wonderful opportunities and will meet amazing people–students, professors, and staff–at any of the schools where you were accepted/waitlisted. Embrace that. Get to know them. Learn from them. Work hard. Have fun. Treat people with respect and kindness. You are clearly bright and ambitious. You will do great. Good luck!
I mean this helpfully and not rudely, but life does not always go as one expects or hopes, so you’re learning something. The person you have a crush on may not care one bit about you. You may lose the election, you may not be hired into the position you want. For one position for which I applied, I got a polite rejection letter informing me that there had been 250 qualified applicants. Resilience and grace in the face of “plan B” counts for a lot in life. Good luck and congrats; you got into some fine schools at which others were rejected cold.
@AsianStudent101 I feel really good about my essays. I tried to show a different side of me in all of my essays; in my Common App essay, I wrote about how I cave with a Girl Scouts organization and how that has made me a more driven person. I worked very hard on my Common App essay and firmly believe that it was excellent. I used a variety of other essays for my supplements, but they also were very strong. I do not think that my essays put me at any disadvantage.
@TTG Thank you! My optimism is definitely growing now!
@snarlatron Yeah, I understand that this is a harsh lesson to learn. Rejection is difficult to face, but it’s better if I can learn how to face it now than futrher down the road. Thank you.
On the bright side you got into four of the schools on your list. They would not have been on the list if you did not want to attend so it is wonderful that you have a choice of the ones you want. It might be frustrating to not get into your reaches but you knew that going in. hence the name “reach”.
Take a few days way from all this and put the rejections and WL schools behind you. Give some thought to which of the four schools you like the best and commit. With your stats you will be fine.
Good luck and congrats on your acceptances.
Hello @nmocha567,
First of all, like most others here, I am sorry to hear that the outcome of your college application process has not gone as well as you had anticipated or hoped.
You asked if anyone has advice or has gone/is going through a similar situation. Our family has faced a situation not much different from yours, and based on several other replies above, clearly others have as well. So, you are in good company!
My children had stats almost identical to yours, from a very competitive suburban public high school, and similar profiles including a National Merit Commended, one point away from NMF for our state. One minor difference was that each of my children happened to spend more of their time focused on a single extra-curricular activity – there wasn’t really time available for much else. That doesn’t seem to have made much difference one way or the other. Also, no athletes in our family, alas.
They applied to a range of schools and they were rejected or waitlisted at ALL the very “top” schools on their lists (between two kids: Carleton, Middlebury, Williams, Georgetown, Cornell, Swarthmore, and even a waitlist at UVA!). We didn’t even consider applying to the so-called “lottery” schools (HYPS etc.).
Like you, my kids also applied to some schools where the likelihood of admission was somewhat or considerably higher and received positive results from most of those schools.
You wrote: “But I still thought I was qualified.” And you are right! You are qualified. Unfortunately, there are thousands and thousands of other students who are equally qualified and they are all applying to a similar set of schools and the schools simply don’t have enough room to take all those highly qualified students. True, some of the qualified students did get into one or even more of the most selective schools. Unfortunately, it wasn’t us, and it wasn’t you. Sometimes that’s how life goes.
Here is one of the most important things you wrote: “In fact, I wouldn’t change a single thing about what I’ve achieved in high school; I am extremely proud of what I’ve done.” I agree, you should be quite proud of what you have done as your accomplishments are truly outstanding.
“So I’m frustrated.” Almost anyone would feel frustrated in this situation. That’s natural and normal and ok.
“Everyone says that everything will work out.” And they are correct. You can achieve what you would like to achieve in life from ANY of the schools to which you were admitted.
“Where did I go wrong?” I don’t think you went wrong anywhere. You applied to a range of schools, were admitted to some, waitlisted at others and denied from several. Those are the results of a sound application strategy. While I know you would love to have been admitted to one of the schools at which you were waitlisted or denied, I am pretty sure the students who end up attending those schools will not be happier than the students at the schools to which you were admitted. Your successes in life will not be based on where you study, but rather what you do when you are there.
“I kept hoping that even as my rejections/ waitlists piled up, there would be a silver lining. But it never came.” It may be that you are looking for the silver lining in the wrong place.
“I know that getting off of the waitlist is extremely difficult.” Yes, the odds are low. So, while it is fine to accept a position on one or more waitlists, you shouldn’t count on that coming through.
“Am I alone? Is anyone else going through this? This has been a very rough couple of weeks.” No, you are not alone. Most students are dealing with significant disappointments right now, some even more extreme than yours. After all, you still have some great options.
Advice? Of the schools to which you were admitted, take a good, serious look to see where you think the best fit might be (possible majors, school culture, size, finances, etc) and commit to that school with your deposit. Try and connect with some other admitted students. If you end up getting off a waitlist somewhere else, you can decide whether or not it is a better option for you than what you already have in hand.
Based on your past achievement, it is clear you have the potential to succeed in college, but you will need to continue to work at it, just as you did in high school. Learning to deal with setbacks and adjust your plans and become successful is a lifelong process.
@nmocha567 You were very smart about your application strategy and I’m glad to see you are moving on past the rejections and w/l and getting excited about your wonderful options!
@nmocha567 I have an anecdote for you. A few years from now when you are in the job place for a few years, you will be working with many people. Amongst those people will be a graduate from those top schools that rejected you. That person is probably doing what you do, earn about the same salary as you do. Unless they were “hooked” and had a full ride, that person will be paying back a huge loan.
Then only will you realize that it is not where you went to college but what you absorb in any college.
So sorry to read about your frustration. I had talks with my students last week on similar topics. The process has become chaotic and unpredictable, and definitely seem more “unfair” to non-URMs for top applicants.
Like I told my students, it is what it is, no point to beat yourself up or feeling bitter towards others. The system is setup this way, then, maybe with time, someone/something will force it to change. I understand based on stats alone, your scores are “qualified” for those schools, but I don’t need to repeat the whole “holistic” thing to you. While many GCs will never say this out loud to their students, many would admit in private “holistic” is a language these schools use to hide behind whatever decisions they make w/o legal jeopardy.
I told my “Asian, White, Middle/Upper Income” students, make sure you get as many match schools that you are happy with and focus on those. “reach” schools like the Ivies are for “ORMs who can stand out among the crowds with awards or special life stories”. Scores alone, even with the traditional EXCELLENT ECs are not enough to make an impression for ORMs. For ORMs parents with kids now in the middle school, make sure you know all these extra ECs you think will give your kiddo an edge, think again. All those paid summer programs, all those piano lessons, all those volunteering or all those creat-a-charity things… they are not special anymore. Look at the kiddo… can s/he win any National Awards (I mean not the usual and useless distinctions like NHS, NMF, AP scholar blah blah) but the real things in their particular field of interest. Getting all 16APs in 5 or 4 will not be enough to standout as well, in fact, I have noticed some schools are far more interested in kiddos with a “life” outside school vs those who need time to study for the 16th AP exam.
The process is messed up. URMs from high-income families still get an edge over low-income Whites, let alone the Asians. But who is to complain when the issue is so thorny. Oh well… that’s where we are today… and that’s what we have to live with… JMHO.
@nmocha567 - Congratulations on your great options and I agree that you will be disappointing three schools that would love to have you!
As for the student who posted this:
Oh well, apparently we’ve seen a plenty of low stats, sometimes embarrassingly low, students got accepted into the very top schools, so I guess there are slots, but they just choose not to give them to certain groups.
You are absolutely right. The admissions office is trying to choose an entire “class” and you are not looking to be accepted into all the available spots but rather the spots that are available for your demographic. Is it easier for a lower stat kid from Wyoming to get into these schools than a kid from suburban NYC? Absolutely. The schools would rather say their class hails from all 50 states than from 49. Then again that kid from suburban NYC was never being considered for that spot and did not lose the spot to some “lower stat kid”.
@OrangeMom28: I agree, though the crazy thing is, that’s the type of speech you’d give to someone who couldn’t go to an Ivy/equivalent/Near-Ivy while UVa is a Near-Ivy and the type of school that puts people in awe. I don’t think the OP realizes how fortunate he/she is.
There are many good reasons to take a scholarship at a less selective school, but the reasons you gave are not it.
First of all, a large percentage of the people that attend the top schools are wealthy enough to be full pay, and comfortably so, so the family has no loans to begin with. Second, even for those that are not full pay, the colleges often have a “no loans” policy with regards to financial aid.
@nmocha567, my son felt like you do two years ago, when he was rejected from schools that he thought were matches. And like you, he wondered why he’d worked his tail off the previous four years if it didn’t get him into a school he really wanted to attend.
So I’ll tell you what I told him. Those four years of high school were not just college prep. They were valuable in themselves. You actually achieved a great deal, and no admissions staff can dismiss that, or call it inadequate. The same hard work and talents you used to get that 35 on the ACT, that 4.0 GPA, and those 5s on the AP exams are going to be useful to you your entire life. I know you feel awful right now, but you are not average. You’re a top student and you have good choices. So be sad for a few more days, (I think it’s healthy to be upset and even a little angry for a bit) and then pick one of the great schools that accepted you.
BTW, two years later, my son regards himself as an Oberlin student, not a Brown reject!
@hebegebe according to many of those cost estimator, after punching in the numbers it comes up with family contributions. Sure they will not allow the “students” to have loans, but many parents I know whose children are at those private schools are taking out loans or mortgage.
Yes, and saving parents’ money is also a good reason to attend a less selective school. We would have recommended that as well for undrrgrad if D was certain about med school.
But parental loans are not the same as “a huge loan” by the student.
Thanks to everyone! All the advice has been super helpful and has really put things in perspective for me. Your comments have been helping me move forward with this.
^And hopefully to be proud of what you HAVE accomplished…