<p>I'm a senior in high school, so the need to get busy is obviously high. I know which college I want to attend, and have already applied. I still need to send in the transcript and proof of MMR shots, so yeah. My main problem is that this is only part of the process. I still have to mess with FAFSA and all that other scholarship stuff and it seems like an arduous and lengthy process. This is fine and all, but what do I do when I don't have my parents pushing me to work on this stuff? They are extremely passive and are only focused on their lives and that makes it extremely difficult for me. They know I have applied for college, of course, but outside of that, they have showed no knowledge of what is going on. I wonder if they believe that I have this all handled by myself? Whatever the case, I don't have it all handled by myself. This is so overwhelming and I don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.</p>
<p>Go on line and print off the fafsa and give it to your parents. You can than ask if they could dedicate a Saturday with your help to getting it filled out. The scholarship applications are yours to fill out and if they require financial info from your parents you will have the fafsa to provide that information. Just handle things and they will get done.</p>
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You shouldn’t need your parents to push you to work on stuff. If you’re ready for college then you need to be able to have the motivation and initiative to do things on your own without your parents ‘pushing you’ but I’m not sure you really meant the statement that way.</p>
<p>Some parents know nothing about the college process and some are simply ‘hands off’ in the area. That means that you need to get busy and perhaps ‘push them’ for the pieces they need to do. It souncds like you’ve already figured a lot of this out but you should meet with your HS guidance counselor to ensure you have all the checkpoints taken care of. There are deadlines on most of these things so make sure you get it done by the deadlines. The app process really isn’t all that difficult as long as you know the steps and just get it done. </p>
<ul>
<li><p>College apps - make sure you apply to a few colleges at least and make sure there’s at least a realistic ‘safety’, one that you’;re fairly assured of being accepted to, or two that you’ve applied to. You can do this without your parents’ involvement.</p></li>
<li><p>SAT/ACT - make sure you take one or the other or both of these tests and make sure you have the scores sent to the colleges by the deadline of those colleges. You can do this without your parents’ involvement as long as you can pay the fees.</p></li>
<li><p>FAFSA - you need your parents’ input for this. Make sure you understand what the purpose of the fafsa is and then get the form and work with your parents (badgering them if necessary) to get it done. Make sure they understand there can be a significant dollar davings (but sometimes none) as a result of getting the form completed and that it’s well worth the hour of their time to complete it. </p></li>
<li><p>For financial aid some colleges might require the CSS form to be filled out and returned. You’ll need to enlist your parents to get this form completed as well.</p></li>
<li><p>Most colleges will require that you either purchase their health insurance or provide evidence that you’re covered adequately under your parents’ policy. You’ll need their help on this as well. Some colleges will require you have the college health insurance regardless.</p></li>
<li><p>Make sure you understand the actual cost of the colleges in your list and how you’d end up paying for them. You need to include tuition and misc. fees, books, housing, meals, and incidentals (clothing, medication, entertainment, etc.). Understand where the money will come from. If you’re unable to have the costs paid you might need to alter your plans and do something like attend a CC first then transfer.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>If your parents balk at any of this be sure to explain in a calm manner how this hour of their time spent on completing the form can mean many thousands of dollars off the cost of attendance saving them or you (whoever’s paying) a huge amount of money and it’s time well worth it. They can get it done in the time they’d otherwise spend watching a silly TV show.</p>
<p>With the exception of the few upper/upper-middle class Upper East siders, the vast majority of my high school classmates…including yours truly managed the college application process by themselves. This was especially true of recent immigrants and first-generation American students like myself whose parents have little to no idea of how to navigate through the American college admissions process. </p>
<p>Other than asking my parents to fill out parts of the FAFSA and other financial aid related information, I did everything myself from choosing schools to ensuring everything was done before the deadline…and this was the common expectation of the vast majority of my classmates. </p>
<p>In fact, for most of us…to expect parents to “push us” and to “keep us on task” regarding college admissions stuff would be red flags that someone was either not really interested to go on to college(99% of my class went off to a 4 year college) or wasn’t mature enough to go away for school.</p>
<p>*I don’t have my parents pushing me to work on this stuff? They are extremely passive and are only focused on their lives and that makes it extremely difficult for me. They know I have applied for college, of course, but outside of that, they have showed no knowledge of what is going on. *</p>
<p>While I do think it’s great when parents are involved in the college process, many kids “do it all” themselves.</p>
<p>Anyway…many of us are used to helping kids who don’t have parents who can help them. So, feel free to rely on CC parents for help.</p>
<p>But, something you wrote is a “red flag.” You mention that they show 'no knowledge" of what’s going on. That can be a HUGE problem if they aren’t prepared to help you financially with college.</p>
<p>Have you asked your parents how much they’ll pay each year? If not, do so. YOU NEED that info more than just about anything. </p>
<p>Do you know how much (at LEAST) colleges will expect your parents to pay each year?
Quick EFC - this is a rough estimate<br>
[FinAid</a> | Calculators | QuickEFC](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Quick EFC - Finaid) </p>
<p>You may get accepted and get your forms in, but if schools expect your parents to pay more than they’re willing to pay, what will you do?</p>
<p>Download all the forms, fill them out as much as you can, then ask them to give you the information so you can fill out the rest.
You can send them online later as you transcribe all the info.
Ask them when they are available/in a good mood-not cooking dinner, trying to work on the computer, dealing with other stuff.
They may be avoiding"“the talk” about how much they can afford for college.
You may be shocked if they cannot afford the 50K to send you to a private or OOS.
If you are 18, you may be able to call/visit your pediatrician’s office to get the dates of your shots/record of your shots.
I would suggest go to the office yourself and ask them to fill out a paper folding card that lists all the childhood shots you received and their dates of the inoculations- it is important they stamp it with the Doctor’s name, signature, whatever so you can use as a record for future school related records.
Good luck. Be patient. Be persistent. No whining.</p>
<p>momma-three - Thanks for your help; I’ll talk to them about FAFSA.</p>
<p>ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad - Thanks for explaining everything in a detailed fashion. I knew a lot more than I thought. You do have a point that I should have the motivation to do things on my own, which I do. I’m not about to let all this effort I put forth go to waste.</p>
<p>cobrat - Thanks for your perspective. I didn’t realize that. That makes me feel more comfortable about, for the most part, working on this alone.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids - Thanks for noticing. They actually are aware of that much and have agreed to everything as long as I get some help financially, which is why I am going to be filling out FAFSA. Good catch, though; that definitely would have been a problem.</p>
<p>Batllo - Thank you for your post. I do need to get those shot records. Also, what are “all the forms”? Aside from FAFSA and that CSS form.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your help. I guess I was just overwhelmed and intimidated by the whole process, but should look to actually work through it before I get discouraged. I think it is also time to have a talk with my guidance counselor, for more than one reason.</p>
<p>Start with your guidance counselor-- he/she will be able to help on some things, and likely has faced this situation with parents many times. Might be able to call up as if it was just the usual thing, to ‘remind’ them of FAFSA, etc. It IS overwhelming, and hard if there’s no one there to help-- but it sounds like you’ve got a great start on it. Take it one step at a time, do what you can yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And it’s a good idea to avail yourself of this forum-- you can get lots of help here.</p>
<p>KingS- recheck all the colleges’ sites, scholarship requirements to see if there is any supplemental forms.
Best to get all the paperwork info needed at once instead of dragging out the process.
May be no additional forms.
Keep copies/originals of your shot record, FAFSA and other forms for reference and possible future needs.</p>
<p>The most important thing you need to do is discuss with your parents how much they can afford to contribute so you apply to affordable colleges. The biggest mistake many kids make is only applying to schools they won’t be able to afford. What colleges, even those offering good aid, think yup can afford and what yup think are often very different numbers. Good luck!</p>
<p>[My parents] actually are aware of that much and have agreed to everything as long as I get some help financially, which is why I am going to be filling out FAFSA. Good catch, though; that definitely would have been a problem.</p>
<p>*The most important thing you need to do is discuss with your parents how much they can afford to contribute so you apply to affordable colleges. *</p>
<p>I agree with the second quote. The first quote is still quite vague unless your parents are willing to pay $50k per year (in case you won’t qualify for aid or the school doesn’t have much aid to give.). </p>
<p>Seriously, ask your parents how much is the most they would pay. And find out what your likely EFC is. (remember, EFC is NOT the most you’ll have to pay.)</p>
<p>What schools are you applying to? What are your stats?</p>
<p>You are on the cusp of adulthood. Congratulations on being aware of what you need to do to attend college next fall, so often we hear from the frustrated parents of HS seniors who choose to remain clueless and not embrace the process. You are actually ahead of the game in learning the ropes. Make use of the suggestions from parents here and check in with your HS guidance counselor to be sure you are jumpimg through all of the necessary hoops. Every week/month you will grasp another detail- sort of like taking one of your classes. Overwhelming if you look at all there is to learn in the semester/year, but not so if you break it down and learn it piece by piece. You will do fine and be ready for college next fall.</p>
<p>You’ve already gotten some great advice, but I did want to add something that we’ve found helpful. An excel sheet of of all the things that have to be done for each application. It is work to get it all written in, but it’s made it so easy to cross off what’s been done and what is still needing to get done. Ours is like this:</p>
<p>University of blank Common app. Date due Submitted/done
University of blank Supplement " "
University of blank Transcripts " "
University of blank Teacher Recs " "
University of blank SAT’s sent/APs " "
State U…same thing</p>
<p>It has really helped my son and also I get to see what is still needing to be done. Staying organized is key and it will make you feel much less stressed about it.</p>
<p>kingshawn-
You’ve gotten lots of great advice and I am absolutely confident that you will accomplish what you need to do.</p>
<p>However, I would like to give you a hug. No matter what age we are, it is stressful and difficult when a big job is ahead and we feel all alone. It is not wrong, certainly, to wish that your parents could be more of a support for you at age 17 or 18, when embarking on a task this complex and important. So, I hope the parents on this board can provide some small measure of assistance and warm camaraderie.</p>
<p>First of all, hugs to you. I know some people will say to you “Tough luck. Don’t whine. Man up”. However, I do sympathize with you. S1 is happy beyond his wildest expectation at a school that was not even on his radar scan originally but applied to because of our (H and I) recommendation. S2 (HS senior) is on an excellent trajectory and to a large part, it’s due to a lot of my advice and recommendation last two years. Neither of them is a slacker so they would have been able to navigate the whole process by themselves if push comes to shove, but the advantage of having well informed parents who can assist them and strategize with them throughout the process is an enormous competitive advantage.</p>
<p>I am saying this to validate your sentiment and let you know that you are not whining, and your wish that you got more help at home is not baseless.</p>
<p>Now, back to the original programming. So, you already got terrific advice up to this point.</p>
<p>I will add one thing here. </p>
<p>SAT, GPA, EC, etc are all critical factors but very hard to change at this point given that you are only 5 weeks away from most of the regular decision deadline.</p>
<p>However, there is ONE important strategic tool that is still available to you. That’s the timing of the application. Here, I am talking about early decision vs. regular decision. What I learned last two years is that this timing is one of the important factors that increase (some times significantly) the admissions odds.</p>
<p>Granted, most school’s ED application deadlines has past. However, there are some schools that offer ED II that is due in January - around the same time as the regular decision deadline. I don’t know what kind of schools you are gunning for (we don’t have your preference, your GPA, SAT, etc), but in case your target is top 50 schools or so, Lehigh, Bucknell, George Washington, NYU all have a second round of early decision applications. </p>
<p>Just a thought, in case this is a relevant factor to you.</p>
<p>Good luck</p>
<p>(PS. I noticed that you graciously thanked one by one those who provided input. This is a very good of you. I see way too many young people who have the entitlement attitude and do not know how to appreciate other’s help. Your acknowledgement of others’ help tell me that you have the right attitude. Keep it up - you will get more help and more mentoring this way)</p>
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<p>IME, it is far better to be the one managing this yourself than to have parents be involved provided you have the wherewithal to keep yourself on task to get everything done before it is due. If a slacker student who graduated near the bottom of his class like me could manage it at 16-17, you most certainly can. :)</p>
<p>Though it meant no guidance from my parents…it also meant I had much more freedom over managing the college application process than my wealthier classmates whose parents not only involved…but often micromanaged the process to the point both parties were often frustrated. Micromanagement sometimes got to the absurd point of parents insisting their child gain admission to a certain HYP school the parent(s) attended or certain majors(Pre-med, economics, insistence on planning for law school, and finance seemed to be the ones the parents insisted on the most) on the risk of being disowned. :(</p>
<p>I must say that your thoughtfulness in thanking posters was such a welcomed sight. It is not often that the young posters take the time to do so and that speaks volumns. Please continue to ask about anything…it really is nice to see appreciative young people.</p>
<p>You may want to include your GPA, AP scores, SAT scores including SAT subject tests if this applies. If you know what you would like to study that would be important to include as well. Are you looking for big schools, competitive schools, small schools, city, rural, or suburban schools? The more info you provide the more help parents on the board could offer you. </p>
<p>It can be a daunting experience without parental help so the key is to get organized. If you know the colleges you want to attend be sure to have a couple of really good schools that may be considered safety schools for you (yours stats are higher than a good percentage of attending students). </p>
<p>Keep your questions coming…</p>