<p>Maybe I shouldnt' post here because it is "parents forum". But I do feel that I am my own parents so the problem is solved.
Why do other parents care so much about their children education but not my biological parents? Well, my parents don't even know the existence of College Board, let alone all the APs and summer programs.
Searching for information is tough, especially when I need to do them all by myself in addition to the school load. My parents never care.
Well, they usually say, "we want you to be independent." But I always feel that they are simply being indifferent. It seems that I was born only for their pleasure, and their only duty is to feed me with physical food.<br>
Quote my dad (he is a fiction-o-holic): "You can't be so selfish to interrupt my personal life (= reading fiction) with your university plan". Well, I only hope that he can squeeze half an hour every week to help me search for some information! He reads hie fiction at least 6 hours every day 7 days a week. I am quite envy of those kids whose parents can at least give them a hand. </p>
<p>So... why do my parents think helping me find information is so unjustifiable? I am not asking them to take the tests for me!</p>
<p>I did all my college stuff by myself other than the part where my parents had to fill out the FAFSA. It wasn’t that hard, I had CC. I’ve seen other parents being extremely involved in their kids’ applications, it wasn’t like that for me. I didn’t let them read my essays. I made my own choices on where I applied and also when I would take the SAT. I bought college guidebooks with my own money.</p>
<p>There are many parents out there who are clueless regarding college matters. </p>
<p>You should have a discussion with your parents about your feelings of “indifference” when your parents say “independence”. They probably don’t realize how you are taking their comment and clarification will help you. I understand how you wish your parents would be more involved in your life regarding your future plans and are hurt. They may actually be doing you a favor by having you do the homework for the college process- you are the one who needs to understand things. Make use of your HS guidance dept and counselor- that’s their job.</p>
<p>I bet in the long run, you will be very successful, despite what your parent’s may or may not be doing. My parents (mind you I graduated hs over 20 years ago) did NOTHING to help me with colleges. My mother never saw my school except for my graduation. I may have gone to a better school, but I loved my undergrad years. I always had to be responsible, like you are. </p>
<p>You will do great things! You are already ahead of the game by checking out this board! People here have a wealth of info, and a lot of advice and support.</p>
<p>happy, you’ve gotten some good advice. You will have to engage your parents and ask questions such as:
-“what (if anything) are you willing to contribute financially?”<br>
-“are you willing to fill out ALL the required information and financial forms on a timely basis and help me make deadlines?”
-“what are you thoughts as to distance, type of school?”
-“if I choose to live at home and go to a cc or commute to a local college, do I have your support (or a roof over my head and food)?”</p>
<p>These and other questions are paramount to have answers to before you even begin to narrow down any choices. Their answers or responses may well limit your options.</p>
<p>Armed with this knowledge, you can begin to seek advice for potential schools from the many parents here willing to help guide you. Also, please seek the counsel of a local adult mentor who might help you through this process. A friend’s parent, a relative, potentially a guidance counselor, teacher, or a faith based advisor if you are so inclined. </p>
<p>Good luck to you. I wish you success, and hope you find encouragement.</p>
<p>I did everything myself too, before I found CC. It is hard, and unfortunately I missed a lot of information that would have saved me a lot of debt. On the whole though, I think I did a good job. Even though it would be better if every parent paid attention and helped their child with this process, you may be better off for it anyway. I find I appreciate my education and how much it costs a lot more than a lot of my friends, many of which are entirely clueless because their parents did it all for them. And as a result, I am making much more of my experience than they are. You’ll manage, too.</p>
<p>Thanks guys… you are making me feel that I am not alone. I will try as hard as I possibly can and see what happens. Without the supports of my parents is definitely tough, but I bet that I am strong enough to withstand the process.</p>
<p>Feel free to post in parents forum anytime… Your parents may not want to help advise you, but there are many here that will help you anytime you ask.</p>
<p>Yes, definitely feel free to post questions here. My kids are both in college now, and I was very involved in that whole process with them. Call me a “helicopter parent”, but having been in your shoes when I was young, I was not going to treat my kids the same way. (Heck, I even had that compulsive fiction-reading parent!)</p>
<p>Now I volunteer for a mentoring program at the local high school helping kids in your situation. I am kind of a surrogate helicopter mom now. I work with kids whose parents for whatever reason just either don’t know how to be involved or don’t want to. The program has a large, active group of mentors, and there still are not enough to go around for all the students requesting help. You are most definitely not alone!</p>
<p>Are you really whining about having to be responsible for yourself? At least you aren’t assuming a great number of what should be your parents responsibilities and only have to worry about yourself.</p>
<p>Throughout my entire high school life, I had to handle all of my parents finances, from day-to-day bills to their retirement to taxes as well as taking care of my mother who spent the entirety of my time in high school sick. This was all in addition to complaining about all the silly things you’re complaining about. My parents were completely uninvolved from anything involving my academic life. </p>
<p>And I was the lucky one. At least I didn’t have to get a job to support my family like countless other high school students have to do. The only input I got from my parents was that my dad pressured me to go to a University rather than a community college. I was completely responsible for choosing my own path and that was certainly a good thing.</p>
<p>Stop complaining about your parents not holding your hand whenever you have to do something that’s your responsibility. With the mentality, I don’t think you’re ready for college.</p>
<p>Will_S, while a lot of people definitely do have it rougher than the OP, you are being overly harsh. Just because your parents sucked at maintaining their responsibility doesn’t mean that everyone’s parents who aren’t as bad as yours are suddenly angels. Everyone has different experiences with life and copes with them differently. Not having supportive parents, to any degree, is difficult for everybody. My parents didn’t help me with my college search because they really just didn’t give a damn where I ended up in life. When I told my parents I wanted to go to law school, my mom told me. “Everyone ends up in a job they hate and in a bad marriage, part of growing up is learning to accept that.” Did I have to manage my parents finances to boot? No, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt, and when I was 16 years old and trying to figure out loans and credit and financial aid options for myself I was pretty overwhelmed. There is nothing wrong with that. Just because you had a harder life than many doesn’t give you a license to be a bully.</p>
<p>I did everything for university myself, including filling out the FAFSA. Some parents just don’t get involved, and there’s nothing you can do. You could be bitter about it, but it’s easier just to get on with things. You’ll end up somewhere you love. I did. :)</p>
<p>happysunnyshine, there are lots of parents here who would be happy to guide you. </p>
<p>I have a kid who is the complete opposite: he thinks his parents shouldn’t be involved in any aspect of his life at all… except for paying for it, and feeding and transporting him. Oh, yes, and providing him with clothes, which should just magically appear in his room. Oh, and a computer of his choice. And so on. Hey! Maybe your parents and I can arrange a trade!! :D</p>
<p>Your parents might be indifferent because they may have mixed feelings about your going to college. If they didn’t go to college themselves, they may feel they can’t really help you. What you do need to know is what they will contribute to your college costs and you’ll need to let them know that financial aid will depend on their financial information, so you will need either their tax forms or for them to fill out that part of the financial aid forms. You might want to enlist the assistance of another adult who is in your life, too, for support and possibly to engage your parents in the parts of the process they must be engaged in.</p>
<p>My father was a high school dropout…back from the days when dyslexics didn’t have any real options in school…etc. Nobody in my family had too much interest in my going on with school. But I did. I had a really fantastic English teacher my junior year who got really involved and helped me to figure it out. I’m glad you’ve found the parent’s forum on CC. Lot’s of the people here have been here for a very long time, and even when my D was applying last year, I hung around and read all the threads and learned a ton from them. They’ll be able to help.</p>
<p>Make sure about your parent’s financial commitment. If that is going to be up to you, as well, go to the financial aid forum and there are lots of really knowledgable people who will be able to help you figure that out in the best way, too. </p>
<p>Good luck to you. By the time I got to graduate school, my parents were very interested in my education and remain so today. It’s not a bad thing to be independent! And, you’ve found people who love the whole college application process enough to talk about it pretty endlessly around here.</p>
<p>Some parents - who didn’t go to college themselves -</p>
<ul>
<li><p>find the whole process overwhelming, so they avoid it so they won’t look stupid.</p></li>
<li><p>are jealous that their children are going to become more educated than they are, so they won’t help and actually discourage.</p></li>
<li><p>are just so self-absorbed that they won’t give their time to help out.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>BTW…you are not whining…you are right to feel a bit neglected. Many of us will be here for you. Post your questions here, or PM us. </p>