<p>Help - my daughter as done excellent in high school and was admitted to some awesome schools. She has a full tuition scholarship to University of Richmond, but was also accepted at Vanderbilt and Duke (to name her favs). As parents, we are stressed with affording a second daughter in private college and would love for her to take the full ride. However, she really feels her reward for working so hard would obviously be to go to the college of her choice, and that would be Vandy or Duke. We have financial aid to Vandy and Duke which will go away after eldest daughter finishes college next yr. How can we tell 2nd daughter she has to take the full ride and go somewhere she's not so excited about when we paid for 1st daughter to go where she wants?! Do we just lay down the law and say go to the free school like it or not and chance she is unhappy. Or let her go to a higher caliber school where she thinks she'll be happier and have her accept responsibility for the debt. Would Duke or Vandy really be a better education than Univ. of Richmond? Wish I could see into the future! So stressed I can't think beyond this bubble and a decision needs to be made this week!</p>
<p>Richmond is not chump change (literally or figuratively) it is a tremendous liberal arts college and would prepare her VERY well. It is a very high ranking school, I would take the full ride there easily. In addition, because of her preparation, she will be in an incredible position if she excels academically to advance her education further.</p>
<p>As for “laying down the law” aren’t you the parents? Parents need to step up. It is incredible to me how afraid some parents are of their children. If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. There is NO SHAME in that. You should be proud of the fact that you provided her with enough opportunity to EARN a FULL SCHOLARSHIP to such an outstanding institution! Do you know how many other students from around the world would JUMP as such an opportunity?</p>
<p>Also if “rankings” are a concern Richmond is on par with places like Trinity, Barnard, Macalester, Bard and Occidental (as in Obama went there) - so again Richmond is a great school. She can save so much money and have so much peace of mind graduating debt free especially if she wants to pursue graduate studies. </p>
<p>In sum, you have a full ride at a high caliber school.</p>
This is the problem. You apparently didn’t think ahead about the impact of two at private schools. Did you give DD1 less money for school? Maybe you can cap at that amount for DD2 and have her make up the difference? At least I would make her work in the summer and take out a Stafford loan.</p>
<p>Sterssdma - I feel your pain. My D was accepted at Vandy and Notre Dame with only a $5,500 loan. As we know the bill is probably around $60,000/ year. She also has a full ride at several private schools and is hoping to go to medical school later on. ND was her dream but she says she will go to one of the full rides. I hope this is the right decision and I too would love to fast forward to
the future. We have daughter # 2 coming up in 6 years so probably no aid for her either. We were willing to sacrifice and pay but are concerned about uncertainty in economy. It is hard to pass up the full ride.</p>
<p>You gotta do the numbers and figure out what you can afford as a family and explain those facts to her. We set a $35K firm limit on what we can pay and that includes any loans that we cosign or take out. Don’t bother to ask us for more. So both of our boys, college son and current high school senior just didn’t consider anything unaffordable. They picked among what was, though within those parameters, they did not try to cut costs. S1 could have made money going to college, but didn’t like that option and took a school where it has been a tight squeeze at times. S2 could live at home and go for free but wants a dorm experience and is going to a school that fits the budget exactly. We’ve not said a word beyond our parameters, and we put those out there upfront. No pressure on them to take the cheaper schools either.</p>
<p>Let your student know if it is not a good thing for you as parents to take out loans or pay out the kind of money that the full pay privates charge. That in itself is a life lesson worth learning as so many kids and families are putting themselves in dire straits by spending too much on college.</p>
<p>We paid for a top price private for our first son ,and it put us in bad shape financially and loan wise. We just told our second and subsequent kids the situation. I think it figured heavily in our second one choosing a state school which really helped us out. It was not a huge sacrifice in that it had all he wanted on his list, particularly the program. He is so happy now that he has no loans, and that we don’t on his behalf either.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing your experience. My D decided on U of Miami where she will get full tuition. The other options were very risky with the economy. I hope the future supports that this was the best decision.</p>
<p>I would say U Richmond no question, I recently had to make a difficult decision between a top 4 LAC and full tuition at a less well known LAC</p>
<p>I chose the latter and it was 100% my decision. I cannot stress enough - DO NOT MAKE THE DECISION FOR HER. Explain to her why you can’t afford it and what the consequences would be of her taking on so much debt, but ultimately you can’t just “lay down the law”. If she does not feel like this at least is partially her decision, she will be strongly soured to the school and that’s not something you want going into that. It still is her college experience and ultimately, she should be the one who sends off the “yes I want to come here!” forms. So - convince her. Don’t force her.</p>
<p>“Explain to her why you can’t afford it and what the consequences would be of her taking on so much debt,”</p>
<p>By telling her you can’t afford it, you are insinuating that you prefer the cheaper route…Tell her to go to the school of her choice, but you will not pay the full tuition and she has to take some loans herself.</p>
<p>I’ve been accepted to more prestigious schools than URichmond, but will likely go there as a result of them covering nearly the entire cost of my education as well. I realize that an undergraduate education without debt is one of the ultimate win-win situations, and is more valuable than a big name, which might help with a first job at best.</p>
<p>The only way I would advocate going to the school for full price is if someone knows exactly what he/she wants to do and there is an inherent advantage to attending that school. I’m a big believer in the save money for undergrad, go to the best grad school you can get into theory. But if she is absolutely deadset on completing a certain undergrad degree and then heading into the work place, it might be worth considering, but just realize it probably will not make much of a difference in reality. I understand wanting to go to a place where you fit in and are surrounded by like-minded peers, but taking on undergrad debt is risky, especially in this economy.</p>
<p>“Or let her go to a higher caliber school where she thinks she’ll be happier and have her accept responsibility for the debt.”</p>
<p>It’s important for your daughter to be in an environment where she can do well, otherwise her years at Richmond would be a complete waste. Doesn’t matter if it’s a full ride.</p>
<p>Student loans is an example of “good debt.” As long as she is responsible and works hard, I’m sure she’ll be able to pay it off. The advantages of attending a prestigious institution (Duke) is hard to turn down. Not many get the chance to attend it.</p>
<p>Tell you daughter how much you CAN afford. Then let her decide if she wants zero debt out of Richmond, or $100k debt out of a full pay school. You will have to cosign the majority of that $100k. If you cannot in good conscience participate in her taking on that much debt, nor are you willing to take on that debt via PLUS loans + private loans, then put a limit on how much loan debt you will co-sign.</p>
<p>Student loans are not “good debt”. They are some of the very worst debt possible because unlike a home mortgage or a credit card debt they are almost impossible to discharge by any means other than a) paying them off, or b) dying. No student should take on more than the Stafford Loan maximum for an undergraduate degree, and they should aim to keep any loans for graduate studies as low as possible. Students who end up with more debt than they can pay off in a reasonable amount of time are in huge trouble. For fun reading on that topic, see [Project</a> on Student Debt: Home](<a href=“http://www.projectonstudentdebt.org%5DProject”>http://www.projectonstudentdebt.org)</p>
<p>Sorry to crush your daughters dreams but its not her money. If she wants to pay off debt for the rest of her life, she can be my guest. Dumb decision. go with richmond, as it is a good school AND a free ride. Not many kids get free rides.</p>
<p>Richmond with full ride is certainly the far better value than full pay at other expensive schools in general, unless her particular areas of interest are not offered there.</p>
<p>But the real problem you have is how to deal with this question:</p>
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<p>How you handle that could have lasting effects on family dynamics in the future, which is beyond the scope of “school A or school B” discussions.</p>