I have a 13 year boy who is youngest in his grade (8th), class of 2023. We lives in Midwest. My husband got a new job in California. Probably we should move in coming summer or fall during school years. For several reasons (moving time, age, travel, focus on sports), we would like to have him take a gap year (2019-2020), start 9th in 2020-2021,class of 2024 in cali.
Is there any expected issues or problems? Do I need to let the new and old school district know?
Any general comments help me!
Why wouldnât he just repeat 8th grade? Does he have health issues or plans other than sitting home for a gap year? Cali had a late school starting date, you may wish to check and see if he would be considered young for grade there.
The idea is horrible. He is a kid who needs the stability of doing kid things- going to school. Please, please, do not remove him from the ordinary progression of his life. Why on earth would you make him repeat a middle school experience? Someone is always going to be the oldest and the youngest in any setting. Those whose parents make the decision to delay school entry et al are sending the message that their kid should hold back on life. Do you want your kid to be forever cautious, never stretching himself? Do you think making him wait a year will really benefit him? There is a whole lot more to life than being older and stronger than the other kids. His time away will mark him.
Have I said enough? Well, itâs your child and you can choose to handicap him.
btw- I have a gifted kid who was one year older than another fall birthday kid in his kindergarten class. Mine ended up graduating a year earlier, with the cohort he was with since elementary school. Are you sending your son the message he isnât good enough to be with agemates?
Wis- some kids need the delay and some kids need to repeat a year. Itâs not always a bad idea, as your post suggests.
We donât know enough about the OPâs kid to help in this situation though. If the only motivation is to adjust the age differential, or to make sure the kid is bigger and stronger than his teammates in HS sports, itâs likely a bad idea. If there is something cognitive/psychiatric/medical going on- thatâs something else.
I know kids who have moved ahead, kept behind, moved behind, etc. and sometimes itâs the right solution. But OP needs to share a lot of more detail for us to conclude that this would be one of those situations.
And what does a kid do during a year off? Too young to work, too young to drive, is there a parent prepared to home school???
Do you have the time, space and ability to make the year full of adventure and non-classroom learning, with enough structure that that he isnât left on his own for extended periods of time to entertain himself as he sees fit? Is there an active homeschool group that he could do another â8thâ grade in? Does he think that this is a good plan? Is school an area in which he generally excels? Is he ambitious?
I am not as reflexively opposed as some, but I think it is harder to do - especially for a whole year- that it might seem. I have moved kids at pretty much every level of schooling. Every move is tough in its own way, but just saying âtoo hard / weâll sort it out next yearâ isnât a plan. And getting back into the rhythm of school is hard.
The being young thing is real thing, but your son will be 14 in grade 9, which is very typical.
School is where kids normally find their friends. Most people I know who move enroll in school right away so their child finds friends among his classmates.
I think calling this a âgap yearâ is a misnomer. Gap years are about gaining independence, personal growth, exploration, IMO. A 13th year old doesnât fit that.
Arenât their laws that say a 13 year old has to be in school whether private, public, or homeschooled?
@lovemidwest
your son should stay in school, regardless of whether he repeats a grade or not.
to take him out of school for a YEAR, because it MAY make the transition from the midwest to Calif âeasierâ, is a TERRIBLE idea. that decision may have unintended long term consequences for him.
The best thing for him is to be enrolled in school, regardless of when he arrives, so he can start to meet new friends here in CalifâŠSitting out a year, while he does nothing, will not help him and will also cause him to forget some / much of what he has already learned in school. Dont do it!
My DS was also the youngest male in his class, as well as one of the smartest, all through HS. The time to have held him back, for age purposes alone, would have been in the first grade, but he was reading at the 5th grade level by then.
What Calif city are you moving to?? you need to check on the ability to have your DS enrolled in the local public school district when you arrive, as some schools have limited openings for new students.
He was tiny but a amazingly smart kid. so we sent him a kindergarten 1year earlier. Still he is tiny and smart. Academically no problem at all. He is taking high school math (honor) and he is the 1st in math in state.
The main reason that we want him have a gap year
Just giving you notice that in many sports, play is determined by birth date not class. So some senior boys were not allowed to compete in certain sports at our school, as they had been held and aged out.
Iâm in the âvery bad ideaâ camp. Starting ninth grade at a new school, so that he doesnât have a big lapse in his education, is far better than him spending a year on his own with no friends in a new place. Sports? That really should NOT be a consideration.
Then, thereâs the law: https://lao.ca.gov/2004/compulsory_ed/020304_compulsory_education_laws.htm
I am skeptical that any of your rationales fit the criteria for him not being educated.
My D was one of the youngest in her grade. No issues. My friendâs son is youngest in his year. Was a NMS semi finalist, runs track, has a girlfriend. Kids do not care. It seems that you care though.
ETA: @lovemidwest there is NO guarantee that holding him back a year, should you find a legal reason to do so, is going to get him into a D1 college. Then, youâre considering sending him abroad to learn a FL? How is he going to maintain his beyond-varsity level sport, away from his family and support system?
I get the impression you are foreign and perhaps donât understand how D1 athletic recruiting and college admissions work in America, but I think there are some serious flaws in your logic. Unless he is playing at a professional level already and being privately tutored, as some young athletes do, your plan seems very poorly thought out.
First time, I would like to repeat 8th grade. I have look into a school district website. In Calif public school, they donât allow repeat the grades. So I think about our alternative way could be a gap year.
If he is already doing HS level work repeating 8th grade could be soul-destroying.
Send him to a sports academy over the summer & let him start grade 9 in his new city.
And in the #justsayin category: his body may have surprises of its own for the both of you. I know a fair few aspiring athletes for whom the years 13-15 dealt some tough blows for their prospects in the sport that they had built their life around.
Send him to school next year. Iâm quite sure you could find a private school where he could do 8th grade again.
ButâŠwhy? For sports recruiting for college? You have no idea if this will work out or not. He could get injured or quit the sport.
It is probably difficult at this point to have him graduate in 2024 instead of 2023 without repeating a grade. The other option would be to have him complete high school on time and then do a âpost-grad yearâ at a private school for his sport. Or do a gap year then. Even if he goes to a sports academy, that would likely count as an academic year.
I know one kid that transferred from public HS to boarding school after his sophomore year of HS. They chose to have him repeat 10th grade. He grew late so it helped him in that regard, but he ended up at a D3 school and probably could have played even if he had stayed in public school or did not repeat the grade. He was not happy at having another year of HS when all his childhood friends were moving on to college.
You could pull him to homeschool and have him repeat 8th grade at home, but moving onto more challenging material than he does currently. Then you could put him in public school the following year. Though theyâll see his record that there are two eight grades, theyâd still put him at ninth grade. Colleges will never see his middle school record or know he did 8th grade twice. It does not sound like he will be properly challenged academically doing this though, especially once back in public school since heâs already so advanced.
Why do you want your son to play D1 sports? Is it to pay for school? If it is, do you know how equivalency scholarships work? I highly doubt that your son is in a headcount sport (football and basketball based on your description (tiny). Also, you would never send someone gifted in those sports outside the country to learn a FL. If he really needs a year to maybe make a D1 team, that likely puts him in 0%-25% range. So, if you hold him back a year, you MAY get a 25% scholarship. YMMV.
We moved continents. Different school years. One kid repeated half a grade, the other skipped half a grade. No matter, the thing that made the big move easiest for them was just being in school - meeting people, getting a routine, settling in. Donât underestimate the benefit of routine and a ready made social group in a big move, especially at that age.
You canât do gap years in high school. Youâd have to repeat a grade (either in public school, a private one, or by homeschooling). What does your son think about repeating a grade?