DS has decided to take a gap year following the conclusion of his upcoming senior year. He has also decided to push out college applications for a year for reasons I find logical.
My questions to those of you who have had sons or daughters take gap years:
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What are the lessons learned from the process/experience for both you and your child?
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For those kids who didn’t apply to college before the gap year, what were the lessons learned? (e.g., did admissions like it/not like it, did admissions like certain things but not others, etc.)
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For those whose sons/daughters decided to take a post graduate year at a boarding school (a low probability event for DS), what were the good and the bad of that experience?
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Any other pearls of wisdom to pass on? For example, I received a good heads up to make sure DS did not take a class at a college during Gap Year because at least some schools would then consider him to be a transfer student instead of a graduating senior.
Any and all thoughts and comments appreciated!!!
Our 2 kids’ boarding school make students apply and get accepted, THEN take gap year. One of the families we knew really wanted extra time for their student who was on the young end of the class, and wanted their student to take a gap year, then wanted help applying and the BS highly discouraged it. Get the spot, then gap year. I guess the student can always reapply or transfer as things change, but the BS was not open to that model.
Lots of kids don’t go to college directly out of high school You know your student best supposedly and know his motivations for not wanting to go to college right now. I would say good idea not to force the idea of heading for college if he doesn’t want to. I know several kids, friends of my sons, who waited a year or two or three before starting college and everything went fine. One taught sailing in Newport and waited tables in the off season, one bumped ski chairs in Colorado and waited tables in the off season and one went to work for a local manufacturer in a plant. and one that wanted a year to be on the pro-tennis circuit and see if he could make any money so up and moved to California. All came through with a level of maturity they didn’t have at 18, much like the kids who went off to college directly out of high school. I also know a couple kids who after some time working in the home town and drifting abit, ultimately did the CC route for 2 years and then transferred. I don’t think admissions cares one way or the other whether the student applies as a first time college student as a senior in high school or a year or so down the road. The benefit to having applied as a senior and asking for time off is having that bird in hand after the year out of high school and not having to go back to the high school for records, recommendations, etc.
One consideration is that many small private colleges are pretty much exclusively 18-22 year olds so if too many years past high school a student might forgo those small colleges in favor of the bigger universities. I only know one kid that went to a small college after a couple years gap and he was the “older kid” on that small campus but he was not the ONLY older kid on that campus…just a minority…and he graduated magna because he was finally “ready” for college.
The most important difference pertains to whether they take college credit at a CC or a University and are entering as a transfer as opposed to a first time student. It could affect the financial aid, however, that is not always true. My #3 just came off a year of thinking he wanted to transfer, so applied for transfer at a uni he was accepted at during high school and he got a “better” financial aid package this summer than he did as a high school senior (he’s not transferring by the way). Highly selective schools might be interested in why the student took the time off and what they did during that time off but more as part of a holistic review. And that, too, would be something to consider…the application list in one year or two years. It could change wildly once he’s out in the working world. Most of my son’s friends who did that were much more cost conscious once they were out in the real world and their college lists were very different than when they were talking about college as high school students.
I don’t know anyone whose done a 5th year of high school even as a boarding student so can’t add to that conversation. You say you find his reasoning logical, so let him steer the ship. He’s probably a kid that knows himself and unless he’s got some romantic ideas about seeing the world on your dime and you aren’t willing to fund that activity he’ll be OK. If he just wants to strike out on his own, you can be the safety net without being the apron strings and if he up and moves himself somewhere cool to do something he finds interesting, you’ve got a great place to go visit and he’s got a story for his college essay. I used to be very jealous of the Newport photos from that kid’s parents!
My son took a gap for 2 1/2 years, and it changed his life. He was one of those very bright kids who didn’t see the point of school. After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 16, he barely got out of high school (he had so many hallucinations at night that he literally could not sleep). He put on a lot of weight and looked horrible. He got accepted to a couple of our state schools, but it was obvious to all of us he shouldn’t go.
He signed up with a group called Youth with a Mission. It’s a Christian organization that has schools all over the world. They train kids to do volunteer work overseas. My son went through two of their programs. The first year, he spent three months in Jordan. The second time, he spent three months in Lebanon. When he came home after the first program, we almost didn’t recognize him! He had lost about 100 pounds and looked wonderful. He slept soundly at night and was cheerful!! Then, after working with Syrian refugees in Lebanon, he knew what he wanted to do - study English and education in Beirut and work with refugees! So this fall, he will start at the American University of Beirut. Fortunately, some of my dad’s ex-students live there and will be keeping an eye on my son. One of them will pick him up at the airport and let him stay with his family for a couple of weeks until school starts.
For OUR son, I don’t see any downsides to his long gap. It’s what he needed to do to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. This time around, he took care of all the application requirements, medical records, etc., etc. He really is like a different person. Of course, we’re nervous, but the people in Beirut said he’ll be fine as long as he avoids dangerous areas.
OP, my older D took 2 years off between HS and college. She is a bright girl but got involved with the wrong kids her senior year and it was clear to us that she needed time to mature. Not only did that happen, she also found her eventual career. Every kid is different, though, as my youngest is going to college EARLY.
A couple of years ago on CC there was a young lady who’d had a rather rough upbringing and took her gap year to improve her test scores, apply to college and to work to support herself. She was accepted to at least one Ivy and as far as I know, did intend to go there. Other kids apply during their senior year. Kids from both well-off families and needy families take gap years for different reasons-as long as the kid isn’t sitting at home playing video games or binge watching TV, it could work out well for a kid with a plan.
I honestly don’t know, sseamom. He stopped taking meds, with the doctor’s permission, and has done fine. I still take my older son to this doctor, so I should ask him what he thinks. Was it not really bipolar, or can somebody recover like that? I know my son would attribute his recovery to his Christian faith, but I just don’t know.
Probably the most common types of gap years involve working to earn money between high school and college. Or someone enlists in the military after high school and then (after completion of military service) later goes to college using GI Bill benefits (although this may not always have been the intention when the person was in high school).
I removed my question because I felt it might be too intrusive. I too, wonder if he was misdiagnosed, as according to my friend, there is no “cure” only managing the brain chemistry in a way that one can function. I hoep your son does well in Syria.
Beirut is in Lebanon, not Syria, although there are refugees from Syria in Lebanon.
My mistake-he’ll be working WITH Syrians, but not IN Syria. But thanks.
My niece took a gap year in Paris, and learned to speak French fluently. Like me she’ll now be able to read things comfortable in French. She can take more advanced literature classes and/or use the French to research in other classes. I got a grant the summer before my senior year for thesis research - I was studying low cost housing in London, Paris and Berlin. I wouldn’t have gotten the grant without being to prove my language skills were up to doing the research.
I have heard that it can be more difficult to get recommendations and transcripts from some high schools. I would probably ask to have the recommendations written this year while he is still fresh in his teachers’ minds, and discuss logistics with the school guidance counselor. Maybe get what you agree to in writing, as GCs do leave. The GC has stuff they need to do with Naviance for admissions, so you will need their cooperation. Also, ask if your/your son can have Naviance access after graduation so you can use the info to look at acceptance statistics at various colleges. I’d also encourage him to do his testing along with everyone else so he has test scores in hand.
One of my son’s classmates did a gap year at a farm in Canada that specializes in taking gap year kids. She really thrived there. She will start at UMass in September. My daughter’s ex-boyfriend worked as an EMT during his gap year. He continued his training during his freshman year at Harvard, becoming a paramedic, and is now considering med school. Another friend’s son will do his gap year in Norway at a school that specializes in gap year programs. He is half Norwegian/half Korean, so has some connection to the country, and has family there.
I think gap years are a great idea for many kids. I think my daughter might have had a less wretched first year in college if she’d done one.
There are usually a couple kids each year that do a gap year from my high school. Most usually do Rotary’s Year Exchange Program. The kid this year that is, is headed to Belgium. The other gap year kids this year are working full time to save money for college, participating in Class Afloat, working for the first half of the year before participating in some program involving the environment.
@MaineLonghorn Good post. We are seriously considering apply, get accepted and then take a year off to study language abroad. I figure you can always to go to college but you might not be able to study another language and culture for one year FREE. I also want him to have a greater understanding of what college can and cannot offer.
A gap year is certainly something we are exploring for S17. I have always been told apply, then see if you can get the acceptance defered. But my local states schools don’t allow deferrals and you have to just re-apply the next year. For a gap year to work for DS it would need to be going somewhere, not staying home and getting a job. So he would need to search around for appropriate programs, or have a plan in mind. Working ski resorts for the winter doesn’t sound half bad but I have no idea how easy it is to plan to get such a job.
As for college classes. Look at where he might be considering applying. Most schools have a ‘threshold’ for what’s considered a freshman application. Most of the time what I’ve seen is it’s more than one or two classes.
It’s pretty darn easy to get a job in Colorado with a resort for a gap but be aware that starting pay is around $9 per hour. Vail Resorts has employee housing that kids can rent. None of my kids did this, but plenty of my friends’ kids have worked out there for a year, some for more than a year before starting college. My oldest worked during college for the local ski area and is almost 30 now and employed in the ski resort industry. – Business/English undergrad degree 
so no need to get a “resort and hospitality services degree”. He does still talk about getting a graduate degree from Cornell or MSU, but he’s gotten enough promotions that I think that idea is less attractive than when he was 23 and I don’t disagree…the industry is very small for “lifers” and jobs are easy to get once you are in the system.
All of my friends who have taken one in between hs and college ended up not going to college the next year, staying at home at their minimum wage job. I am in the summer between hs and college right now.
My daughter just completed a gap year working as a nanny in Europe. She did the college application process while in HS and had no difficulty deferring admission. She had a wonderful experience and has no regrets.
bump. Any more stories about gap experiences?