My D13 did a gap year – although an unplanned and highly unusual one (she toured as a skater in Disney on Ice). She ended up getting a deferral of her admission and her merit scholarship in mid-July just before she got her roommate assignment. It was the best thing ever. Not only was it a once in a lifetime experience but she also gained so many skills in independent living, making and managing her own money, traveling, and navigating some fairly complicated interpersonal relationships. Although she had the choice to continue on after the first year, she decided that she did indeed want a traditional college experience and began college just one year later. She was young for her grade so wasn’t terribly old when she started freshman year (turned 19 in August). The summer before freshman year was pretty rough (she was really depressed about not touring anymore) but once she got to college she was fine. And hasn’t really looked back.
I tried to get my S16 to consider a gap year (although this one would have been planned) but he would have none of it. He seems to be doing fine at his college but I think a gap year (on an exchange program or doing City Year or some kind of outdoor leadership thing or even just working a regular, low wage job to save up some money) would have been great for him. He is also young with a summer birthday. I just don’t think one needs to rush through everything and this age is a great time to experiment and take the time to try new things – before one has lots of other responsibilities.
Great point, @momofzag. Offering your child a gap year experience is also a way of alleviating his or her stress during senior year. I could tell my youngest daughter, who has been diagnosed with anxiety, was really struggling a year ago as a high school senior. She felt overwhelmed with IB classes and the application process. I said, “Look, if you want to take a gap year, that’s fine! It’s not a race.” She got the biggest smile on her face! It was like a burden rolled off her shoulder. But the more she thought about it, she decided she wanted to start college right away. But I think just knowing she COULD step back if she needed to really helped lower her stress level.
Not sure that the working a low wage job and living at home to save money is a great option for many kids. Some will end up hanging out at HS events with kids a year younger and may really feel like they are missing out as their peers are enjoying college life and they are stuck living with mom an dad. Programs, travel, or an opportunity like Disney on Ice of course would be a great way to enjoy a year off and get re-energized for college.
I love reading about all the different paths these kids take. How cool to be touring with Disney on Ice! Your daughter gained an amazing experience @momofzag !
@redpoodles, the proof will be in the pudding but so far my D is doing well after taking a Gap Year. She did see a math tutor over the summer to brush up so she would be ready for Calc this fall. She is taking her midterm today so I don’t want to jinx her but so far she is finding it hard but doable. She did a lot of independent reading of nonfiction over the year and has always had strong verbal skills so that was less of an issue. I think the extra year of maturity has helped compensate for any skill loss.
I also want to push back against the idea that only rich kids can do a worthwhile gap year which always seems to pop up in these threads. There are definitely gap year opportunities that are expensive and with the popularity of gap years there are many companies looking to make a profit by planning or providing gap year. But there are just as many opportunities that don’t come with a big price tag. A kid can work for 6 months to fund 6 months of travel, do Americorps, do Student Conservation Association, volunteer or intern locally, pursue a passion deeply while at home, visit family in far away places or just with different lifestyles, take classes unrelated to academics, or a combination! There are all kinds of things kids can do that will enrich their lives and their communities and not break the bank. My own kid did a mix- an SCA internship, some non-academic study- getting her Wilderness First Responder and learning to clog dance, working, and travel, both international and staying with family on the opposite coast. It was a rich year in experience but not in $$ spent. Probably the best thing was getting out of her high school bubble and meeting and living with people whose worldviews and experiences were different from hers. That was priceless.