So I’m finishing my Brown supplements, and for the one that asks about a place you call home, I decided to write about how I lived both inside and outside gated communities in a suburban area which is very divided between this wealth enclaves and very disadvantaged unsafe communities on the outside. My main concern is that it may sound too privileged and that’s not the image I want to portray. I have other ideas for the essay so I don’t know whether it’s worth it to continue with this one or if I should start a new one.
Would anyone be willing to read my essay and tell me their opinion?
Thank you!
I think it depends on what your take away is based on the two communities…what meaning do you draw from it etc
The trick is, this essay is not about your community it’s about you. It might be good if you can show that you’re comfortable moving between socioeconomic strata and that you can have friends in all the bands without making your poorer friends feel left out or your richer friends feel put-upon. Going to Brown would put you in a place where there are people who grew up on the extremes, I think, and setting yourself up as a mediator who is comfortable in many roles can’t be a bad thing.
I think I would have difficulty writing that essay without sounding privileged. Even talking about how you get along with the “others” might come out wrong.
70% of students at Brown come from families in the top 20% income bracket. I wouldn’t worry about it referencing the gated community, particularly in the context you mention. Best of luck!
The fact a high proportion of current students is from a higher SES doesn’t mean an essay about your own $$ comforts will get you in.
Why do you need to describe a gated community, to show you interact well with various types? Why can’t you just show you get out of your own zone, pick friends on various merits, etc? It’s the choice to draw yourself as so privileged that they can question. The richer the parents isn’t going to make you seem more special about getting along.
Like, “Even though I’m wealthy. I can deign to go past the gates.” ?? Rethink how you do this.
Thank you everyone for your inputs!
If anyone if willing to read it, PM me please