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<p>like when the white majority voted to have separate black schools…</p>
<p>no issue, right? just a democratic process…</p>
<p>the hall has more women than men (according to the thread), so the men have no say.</p>
<p>Agree completely, TatinG. Those old virtues of modesty, restraint and respect are vastly underrated these days, imho!</p>
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<p>You assume wrong. Gayness has nothing to do with it.</p>
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<p>On this, we basically agree. Although I think that BOTH are problems.</p>
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<p>Exactly. The only time it is socially acceptable for guys to reject female interest is when the female is fat or otherwise considered unattractive by the lowest common denominator of media standards of physical attraction. A guy who is not interested in nailing everything with a vagina is regarded as a wuss.</p>
<p>To repeat the obvious: not everyone is raised with the same standards of physical modesty. Not everyone is raised with opposite sex siblings. On a floor with three bathrooms, there is simply no reason why there should not be one for men, one for women, and one gender neutral. If it really were no issue at all, there would not be a female-only bathroom. The mere existence of that bathroom shows that the girls are a bunch of flaming hypocrites who are being allowed to ride roughshod over the perfectly legitimate feelings of some of the guys. It stinks, period. I hope that he RA has the intestinal fortitude to deal with the situation, or if not, has the decency to kick it upstairs to someone who does.</p>
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<p>Really? That wasn’t an issue among boys/men in my old working-class NYC neighborhood, high school, college, or beyond. </p>
<p>If anything, the guys who turned down women…even those deemed conventionally attractive by society actually got greater respect than those who didn’t as it exuded an extremely heightened sense of confidence in one’s own attractiveness. </p>
<p>This was further reinforced in HS/college where dating/romantic relationships were often regarded as signs one doesn’t have their priorities in order (academics and/or political activism). Saying “I’m too busy with school” or “got a scholarship to worry about” were considered legitimate reasons to males avoid the dating, romantic, or hookup scenes.</p>
<p>Refusing a relationship is one thing, refusing an advance or a hookup is another.</p>
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<p>For the same reason that every public building I’m familiar with has a men’s room and a ladies’ room, and every gym I’m familiar with has a men’s changing room and a ladies’ changing room. Given that the norm in society is that bathroom and changing facilities are segregated by gender, I don’t see the purpose in mushing it together on a college campus. I don’t think it’s a crime against humanity or anything, but I don’t see a purpose other than making people uncomfortable.</p>
<p>"As to women needing a space to unwrap their crinkly pads, they have stalls with doors, don’t they? "</p>
<p>I don’t think you have to be a crank or a prude to not want to have everyone in the bathroom with you hear these kinds of noises.
OT - I’m in Japan right now, and the toilets are amusing (to me) - when you sit down, water starts flowing immediately so that no one can hear your noises as you are going about doing what you need to do. I’m in a hotel room by myself, so of course it’s of no consequence, but it’s not such a bad idea!!</p>
<p>PG–I agree. Imagine if mixed-gender bathrooms were found in airports, shopping malls, restaurants, theaters, etc.–places where getting completely undressed to shower is not even an issue?
I grew up with multiple siblings of both sexes in a house with a bathroom shortage. I’ve always been used to a serious lack of privacy. However, I would not be comfortable with my brother coming in to use the toilet while I’m showering. Or what if I needed to change a tampon or deal with a menstrual accident while HE is in the shower? NOT comfortable with that. What if it is not my brother, but some random strange guy who lives down the hall? I’m even more uncomfortable. Or what if I have a crush on the guy?–Even worse! I’ve never visited a college that has mixed bathrooms. I think the idea is just plain CRAZY. Call me old fashioned. Who would be “for” this? Oh, yes, mixed bathrooms have been around for years and anyone can get used to them–but who really prefers mixed bathrooms? (Yes, I can “get used to” using an outhouse, too. . . but I prefer a flush toilet.) </p>
<p>I think part of the issue is that girls just need more bathroom space/time. Anyone ever noticed and heard jokes about the line for the women’s bathroom in any public place being out-the-door-and-down-the-hall at the same time there is no waiting for the men’s room?
When will building designers finally recognize that women have more to do in the bathroom than men? Just because the population is about 50/50 male/female doesn’t mean bathroom space should be equal. Has no one seen the obvious? Women pee sitting down. Women have periods. Women are more likely to have IBS and bladder issues. Women take longer showers (washing long hair, shaving legs and underarms. . .) And a lot of women put on makeup/style their hair in the bathroom (better mirrors and light). Maybe that’s why the girls seem to be hogging the bathroom space. They need MORE space. But that space should be in a women’s bathroom, not the men’s room.</p>
<p>Japan sounds very civilized, Pizzagirl!</p>
<p>Seems like a huge waste of water IMO. <em>shrug</em></p>
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<p>Never was an issue among the fellow boys/men I was around from childhood till the present. </p>
<p>Also, forgot to mention that in my old neighborhood and among several folks, one can also use one’s strict adherence to religion to avoid hookups/advances alongside “too busy” or “safeguarding my scholarship”. </p>
<p>All of those were not only accepted, but conferred great respect on the ones using the excuse IME. Never saw anyone shamed because they refused dates, advances, or hookups. </p>
<p>If anything, a boy/man who was too eager to respond to advances/hookups was derided by some boys/men…especially a few former ex-military types as “lacking self-control/discipline”.</p>
<p>Co-ed dorm bathrooms presumably got their start when formerly single-gender dorms or floors were converted to co-ed. Since they had one bathroom, a co-ed floor had to have a co-ed bathroom. Co-ed floors (despite the co-ed bathrooms which students were informed of before room assignments) were more popular by far than single-gender floors (what I remember is that they asked students what they preferred, and apparently needed to “draft” some who preferred a co-ed floor to fill in the one all-male and one all-female floor in each co-ed dorm).</p>
<p>I think we are missing a MAJOR piece of info here - what is the breakdown of girls/guys on this hall? Perhaps there are more girls.</p>
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<p>That doesn’t mean every restroom should be open to them. If one gender is going to have its own “private space” then you better provide both with that space.</p>
<p>In Japan I’ve also seen machines that make water sounds when you are in the stall, but don’t actually start the toilet flushing. We saw more interesting toilets in Japan than anywhere else I’ve traveled. My favorite two - one labeled “Handicapped and westerners only” and another one (in a tiny powder room) where the sink drained into the toilet tank.</p>
<p>OP: Has your son asked to be moved to a different dorm that doesn’t have the same arragenment? I am asking because you said that the vote was done after he moved in so the housing is not up to the same standards as what he signed up for right? </p>
<p>Pizzagirl - Have you encountered the Japanese toilets with the “wash and dry” cycle yet?</p>
<p>Well, we have a title IX for female sports equality, I guess we now need a title XY for male potty equality. </p>
<p>I wonder if this educational institution is a proponent of the tyranny of the majority in other areas also. The first year of college is a big adjustment for any 18 year old and to add the daily discomfort of this issue to the situation is IMO not only unjust but rather mean, especially since the ‘change order’ was issued AFTER the fact.</p>
<p>For those who claim total comfort with such a setup during their own college years - good for you. But this isn’t about YOU, it is about this young man.</p>
<p>Quote from UCB:"Co-ed dorm bathrooms presumably got their start when formerly single-gender dorms or floors were converted to co-ed. Since they had one bathroom, a co-ed floor had to have a co-ed bathroom. Co-ed floors (despite the co-ed bathrooms which students were informed of before room assignments) were more popular by far than single-gender floors (what I remember is that they asked students what they preferred, and apparently needed to “draft” some who preferred a co-ed floor to fill in the one all-male and one all-female floor in each co-ed dorm). "</p>
<p>This was my experience as well - UCB in mid 80s. We had co-ed floors with only one bathroom. One could request the single gender floor. As has been mentioned, though, that’s what we signed up for, the change wasn’t made after the fact.</p>
<p>So why don’t the men on the floor continue to use the third bathroom?</p>
<p>My biggest problem in this situation is that the college is changing the rules after the housing contract has been signed for the semester. </p>
<p>Imagine if you signed up to move in to a two person suite dorm, and a month into the semester a vote was held and passed that all two person suites will be joined together to make four person suites. Now you have 3 other mates instead of just 1 one. I would cry foul, and ask to be relocated to a different dorm. </p>
<p>Now consider the same situation above, and then imagine if two girls are joined with two boys. But they can just close the door or put on more clothes and everyone should be fine with it right?</p>
<p>I don’t agree with a “majority vote” having the ability to significantly change my living situation, and yes I think being forced to share a bathroom with the opposite sex is significant.</p>