General Questions about Transfer Personal Statement

Transfer Students UC Transfers
1

<p>Hello, I am applying to UCs this fall and decided to at least start brainstorming what I can do for my personal statement. Before I do though, I have a few questions I was hoping someone had the answers to:</p>

<p>Prompt #1: (For a recap: "What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities — and what you have gained from your involvement."</p>

<ol>
<li>How bad is it that I don't have any relevant experience to report? I'm going for math, and other than math tutoring, I don't have anything worth mentioning. Writing about tutoring was something I was considering, but I don't really have plans to become a teacher.</li>
<li>Is it okay to write about trivial things? For instance, I was considering writing about how I used math to optimize my success at video games (sounds very dumb I know, but I'm grasping at straws here!)</li>
<li>Extension of second question, but I've also considered just writing about my experience in math classes, visiting my math professors' office hours to talk about math, but again I feel like writing about classes (which EVERYONE takes...) is overdone/not really meaningful or unique.</li>
</ol>

<p>In general I'm more worried about this prompt. What can I do here to cope for lack of meaningful involvement? I'm sure I can't be the only one experiencing something similar</p>

<p>Prompt #2: (For a recap: "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?")</p>

<ol>
<li>Just one main question here. Is it okay to use profanity? Note, I don't plan to use it extensively throughout the essay, just once or twice for added effect. I plan to discuss about a certain slur (more importantly, how I rose above it/grew as a person from my experience with it, which is the focus). I have the entire narrative mapped out in my head, but it requires using the "bad word" at least once or twice.</li>
</ol>

<p>Sorry for the long, winded post but I just wanted to flesh out all of my concerns and articulate them as best I could. Thanks so much!</p>

2

<ol>
<li><p>Tutoring is good enough. Talk about that and the importance that it holds for you.</p></li>
<li><p>In my opinion, such anecdotes make you look more human, and that’s always a good thing. A lot of people like to go over the top with their personal statements, but things like this can look good if done right. It also shows the passion you have for your major and how your experience in it affects you in your daily life.</p></li>
<li><p>Any particularly valuable experiences you’ve had in those classes and office hours are worth writing about. Explain why such experiences are important to you.</p></li>
<li><p>Eh, I’d avoid that to be safe. </p></li>
</ol>

3

<p>Thanks @Cayton for the answers, they really helped/reassured!</p>

<p>For 4, I’ll give more context: Specifically, I was going to talk about the word ‘f<em>g’. My only planned use of it was enclosing it in quotes as something someone said. Even with that, is it still too risky? If so, another thing I was considering to do was to *water it down</em> to a word like ‘homo’. It doesn’t nearly carry the same weight as the previous word, but I guess it does carry a similar derogatory connotation. Would that be okay/better?</p>

4

<p>@Bearly‌ </p>

<p>Hmm, that may be acceptable, but you could probably convey the fact that someone used the word without actually quoting them—you could say that that person used a “homophobic slur.” It may not have the same emotive power, but it carries a much smaller risk of possibly offending an admissions officer.</p>

5

<p>@Cayton again thanks so much! Really helpful :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Just one last question, which may be kind of a dumb/obvious one. It’s okay to use contractions in the personal statement right? Only asking because when I search online, I get mixed answers. But I’m leaning towards using contractions to make my writing sound more natural and <em>personal</em> (without them, it gets so formal and almost robotic). Just wanting to make sure</p>

6

<p>@Bearly</p>

<p>Prompt 1: </p>

<p>I’ll be pretty blunt on this answer. Writing about tutoring has been so overdone. I would avoid it at all costs. It’s a rather dull subject and many are inspired to study their majors by things that are sometimes unique, which in your case would be with video games? Do you plan to enter the video game industry? That would be an interesting read. </p>

<p>Prompt 2:</p>

<p>I don’t think it’s a good idea. It could be nothing but the reader of your personal may frown upon such a thing. Who knows? Also, it’s not a good impression to give IMO. The given time they read your personal statement is so valuable… </p>

7

<p>@Bearly‌ </p>

<p>I didn’t try to avoid contractions in my personal statement. I don’t think they’ll care much about that.</p>

8

<p>My understanding of the first prompt was always that they wanted to know <em>why</em> you choose your major. What made you fall in love with math? Why did you choose it as your major? What do you want to do with your life (if that’s related)? If you can, tie it back to that. If your experience (I went to math class or I tutored someone) doesn’t really relate to why you chose your major, you don’t have to focus on that in the essay. Show your passion.</p>

<p>For prompt 2, if it’s central to your essay I’d say it’s okay. So long as you’re not swearing in your writing or throwing in words just for the heck of it. I wouldn’t worry about contractions, just sound like a real person.</p>

9

<p>Contractions are OK. The key is the flow. </p>

10

<p>Alright, thanks everyone for the responses! I definitely have a better understanding of what to do and can’t wait to flesh it out. How exciting the next few months will be :smiley: (/no sarcasm! it’s the most organic and telling part of the application). Thanks again!</p>

11

<p>1.DEFINITELY write about tutoring. It’s your only experience so make it count! Even though you don’t want to teach, it shows a lot about you. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Go ahead and do it if it flows. If it flows, I think it’ll make your ps great.</p></li>
<li><p>Yeah, I would avoid that. It’s boring. Touch on it a bit if you want though.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>You’re underestimating how tutoring can be used to your advantage, in response to your question: What can I do here to cope for lack of meaningful involvement? </p>

<ol>
<li>DON’T DO IT for the effect, it’s just a bad idea. BUT, DO DO IT for your narrative about how you rose above the f word, s word, etc just because it’s literally the main idea of your narrative. So put it in quotes. </li>
</ol>

12

<p>@randombookie yeah it’s a bit hard finding worthwhile substance because both tutoring/class seem so vanilla! I guess I’ll have to find a way to add my personal/unique spin on it to make it stand out from possibly the hundreds of other math majors who will no doubt write about the same things.</p>

<p>As for the little anecdote, it’s okay if I add it in the beginning to lead into my PS right? I’ve read a few examples, and so far I notice that quite a few people begin with “My intended major is ____. My passion for it began…” but I feel like that’s too formulated and cookie-cut. But at the same time I don’t want admission officers to be reading PS #1 and thinking “Ok one paragraph in but no indication of major…what is this guy trying to say??”</p>

<p>And lastly yeah that was what I had in mind, enclosing it in quotes. I guess I’ll write up my draft first to see how it pans out and have people read it before I make up my mind. Thanks again!</p>

13

<p>I don’t think it’ll be vanilla if you describe it well. </p>

<p>Yeah definitely add it in the beginning! Grab your reader’s attention. </p>

<p>I never say “My intended major is________.” What I did was describe what I was interested in and then finally said “and this is why I want to major in psych.” If you describe it well enough, you don’t even have to explicitly say your major.</p>

14

<p>Alright, this gives me a really good idea of how to start. Thanks again!</p>