Georgetown SFS Essay Advice

<p>Hi everyone. I really need advice on my global issue essay.
First off, I think my topic is great and I'm pretty happy with what I have written so far. In fact, I thought my essay was pretty good because I wrote it in such a way that is was serious but personal at the same time. My favorite teacher read it gave me really good feedback. However, one of my friends who goes to an Ivy (who is an awesome writer) read it and he says that I shouldn't include the pronoun "I" anywhere in the essay because it should be more formal. The first paragraph of the is written in first person because it explains why I am so connected to the main topic and solution. Any advice? I don't know if I should change it and follow his advice or just ignore what he said and keep it how I originally wrote it. If anyone experiences something like this please let me know any help will be greatly appreciated!
(I'm sorry if this was already asked on any other threads; I just couldn't find it ;P)
Thanks!!</p>

<p>It just depends when and where you use “I” and how it affects your essay</p>