<p>'"But the problem is that, if you get the view from the "substance-free world", or some such, which view are you going to believe?"</p>
<p>Mini, why does it need to be one view or the other? Both worlds can co-exist, of course."</p>
<p>And do. The question is not whether they both will exist (they do at virtually every school in the country), but whether they co-exist comfortably, or whether there is a lot of backbiting. The first visit would seem to indicate clearly that the latter is the case. A visit in the "substance-free world" might be more comfortable, but might indicate exactly the same reality. (And since, at most schools, most non-drinkers, or low-volume casual drinkers do not live in substance-free dorms in any case, those are the wrong folks to ask.)</p>
<p>now at Reed there are students who still party but don't drink much and choose to live in sub free housing.
My daughter lived in subfree there for three years, she doesn't completely abstain ( but she did in the dorm as does everyone)
Her choice to live in subfree was because she doesn't like the smell of smoke- has asthma- and is the daughter of a long line of alcoholics ( dad is in recovery- grandfather is not).
While a friend was really turned off during a prospie visit when students in the dorm tossed him a can of beer, ( he was so shocked- also shocked by the smell of pot- although his father tried telling him, that it wasn't unexpected in college), I have the impression that most students at Reed don't pressure others one way or the other to participate in anything they don't want to do.</p>
<p>Years ago, my husband had a similar experience at Yale. It was enough of a turn-off that he never considering going there after that, even though he was admitted. </p>
<p>In some ways, I think the overnight college visits might not be such a good idea. Too much unscheduled time with the host student running the show... unless you know a current student there already.</p>
<p>"whether they co-exist comfortably, or whether there is a lot of backbiting." which I think is totally normal. College kids just don't have the maturity (heck, let's add most adults to the category) to recognize that different life style choices don't need to be viewed negatively.</p>
<p>I don't know of any place where the party/alcohol crowd has much respect for the non-drinking substance abuse crowd, or vice versa. Maybe you do, but please don't use places like BYU as examples.</p>
<p>I may be wrong but Earlham College seems to be a place where there's a healthy respect for other people's point of view on drinking and drugs. At least, that is the impression I have gotten from reading several months of Earlham livejournal discussions between students. </p>
<p>Again, I think the location of the school also needs to be considered. A small college in a small town that has a heavy drinking or drug culture is going to be more problematic for someone who isn't interested in those things than a school located in a more urban area. Also, it's important to find out what other activities occur on campus on a regular basis and how many students actually participate in those events. But, as long time readers know, I am a big believer in trusting your gut instincts about a school's atmosphere.</p>
<p>"I don't know of any place where the party/alcohol crowd has much respect for the non-drinking substance abuse crowd, or vice versa. Maybe you do, but please don't use places like BYU as examples."</p>
<p>They do at my d.'s school, and that's about as different from BYU as I can imagine.</p>
<p>The same thing happened to my daughter last year at Emory Scholars weekend. Her hostess was a partier (daughter is not). Also, since my daughter is academically motivated, she was disappointed to learn that her host (an Emory Scholar, by the way) rarely studied, partied a lot, watched a lot of television, and didn't begin work on a major research paper until the night before it was due. All of this information combined made by daughter question just how dedicated Emory students were. She didn't cross Emory off her list because it is a good school that offered outstanding merit aid. She ended up going to her first-choice school, which offered an equivalent merit scholarship.</p>
<p>Whoo! Thank you more! I love seeing all these responses. I actually showed this thread to my father and mum and they've conceeded a bit. Once I hear final decisions from Reed and Whitman, I'll re-evaluate my options and hopefully end up going to talk to L&C, Whitman or Reed and definately visiting where feasible options lay. </p>
<p>I'm realizing more and more how deep my reservations about Linfield run. Maybe its a good thing that I decided to come and stay and see.</p>
<p>My daughter, a freshman in college chose not to host prospective students because in her words "I know I'm boring, and I don't want to subject other people to that." She is a hard-working, non-partier...What does she do on weekends? Studies, does laundry, and maybe gets together with her friends to watch a movie...not what a prospective student would enjoy seeing. She has gone to concerts, and gone skiing, and loves her school, but she is not social in the popular sense of the word...just something to keep in mind...</p>
<p>I would save the original message you wrote and show it to the adcoms/financial aid people at the other colleges you are considering. I believe they would bend over backwards to make it financially possible for you to attend. I would also urge you to trust your instincts, as much as financial circumstances and acceptance letters will allow -- especially when the school has reputation as a "party" school.</p>
<p>My daughter was fortuntate enough to do two overnights at her college and fortunate enough to be assigned to quiet, studious hosts for one and "party" types hosting a keg party on the lawn for her second overnight. She enjoyed both overnights and came away from the combined experiences with a good feel for the range of people and social options at the school. Interestingly, the the two different experiences made her more comfortable with her decision than either visit alone would have.</p>
<p>Whitney - You have nothing to lose by pursuing additional aid at a school or schools you hope to attend. Let them decide whether your stats and/or overall application merit a more attractive aid package. </p>
<p>TheDad has a good suggestion for YourDad if you know that L&C is your first choice before your visit. If you aren't sure, visit Lewis & Clark, Whitman and/or Reed and if accepted without sufficient aid packages, contact your favored schools and indicate very strong interest, letting them know that financial aid is a key decision factor, and that you have gotten more aid from other schools. If you have a clear #1 choice at this point, that is the time when you can honestly state your preference along with your wilingness to attend should a rexamination of the aid package yields significant improvement. </p>
<p>Whatever you or your Dad do, don't request an aid match or initiate any sort of bargaining dialogue. What you want to do is to request a "review" or "re-evaluation" of your aid package. If your most recent grades are above your average GPA or you have recieved some sort of academic or other award not included in your app this is a perfect time to let them know, as something like that could give a school some cover for improving a package. Some schools are pretty touchy about appearing to negotiate or respond to specific offers from other schools, unless they request information on the offer. </p>
<p>Echoing other posters on this thread, you sound like a very thoughtful and mature student, and will likely do well wherever you go to college. Good luck.</p>
<p>Reidm, thank you for your advice! I definately hope that my visits will lead to a clear number 1 (am starting to fret that I didn't apply to the right schools). You see, I fell into a bit of a bind last spring/summer. I'm an avid theatre student and was currently involved in a production of "Fiddler on the Roof". It was my first (and last stab) at acting but I also kept up my first love (tech!). So, I ended up putting nearly 550 hours into the show and, near the beginning, contracted mono. I just thought I was tired because of stress and caught mono again. Twice at once, apparently. So, I totally fell to pieces in June and was really sick all summer. Suddenly all the visits I planned to make were thrown out the window and I was forced to apply blindly to colleges in the fall. </p>
<p>I'm starting to realize how much of a mistake that was. XP</p>
<p>About the having something to bargin with, that sort of worries me too. I only ever got one B (sophmore year) and so I'll probably have another 4.0 year. I won't have any great AP victories because I took all 8 AP classes I was interested in before this year and have been taking a mix of college and "tech" classes just to keep a rigorous schedule. Since theatre rules my life (I already have 46 1/2 hours into this current show and we only started working on it last month) I won't have any great new EC's or awards. (I'm sort of a mix of things in theatre). :P Now I'm wondering if there's something that I even could offer. I'll keep thinking though. Maybe something will come up. </p>
<p>Thank you again! I'm so impressed with how knowledgeable everyone is.</p>
<p>Whitney, Don't worry - you have applied to some wonderful schools. I think you may like Whitman quite a bit - they have one of the most active college theater programs in the country, with lots of opportunities for non majors to be involved. If you stressed your wonderful theater involvement, they're going to look very favorably on you. Whitman is a terrific school. And, as I may have mentioned, my daughter adored Lewis & Clark when we visited in February - it's a very high energy type of school and much closer to what you are looking for than Linfield I suspect. For now, continue to think of Linfield as a safety school until you have all offers in your hand. Good luck!!!!</p>
<p>My nephew went to Linfield and never did get into the social scene much. Instead he drove home every weekend to be with his girlfiend. I recall complaints about the drinking at the school, but it was hard to tell how much of his not getting engaged at school was due to the girlfriend. </p>
<p>I have friends with kids who just started at Whitman and at Western Washington, and the coffee klatsch talk is all about how shocked everyone is at the drinking everywhere. That said, and without comparing the level of drinking, I'm sure you'd find the kids at Whitman a cut above those at Linfield intellectually. Maybe two cuts. Same for L & C.</p>
<p>Good luck! I hope your folks won't insist on simply "putting you" wherever you're offered the most money.</p>
<p>A young man from our home town had a terrible visit at Princeton, which had been his first choice. He didn't even apply, his outlook was so negatively colored. Similar deal as mentioned- drinking and partying by the host.
The other side of the coin...... D's boyfriend at Rice was hosting an applicant and wound up ditching the kid! All the applicant did was criticize Rice (it wasn't his first choice and he made that quite clear) and act bored and bratty. He wanted to go to bed, so his "gratious" host left him in the dorm and went out for some much-needed space.</p>
<p>Whitney, I'll echo Carolyn...I didn't notice Whitman in your posts but I think it's an <em>outstanding</em> school. If it had been on the East coast, I would have suggested that D look at it, given her other choices. It's a hidden gem in many ways.</p>
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D's boyfriend at Rice was hosting an applicant and wound up ditching the kid!
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<p>My D and her friends host quite a few "specs" at Swarthmore. It is not unheard of to intentionally show a spec a boring time if he or she is perceived as a jerk. Think of it as an informal selection process whereby existing students literally decide, "we don't want someone like that here..."</p>
<p>It doesn't happen often. She says that most of the specs are "pretty cool". But, they get at occasional spec who receives a concensus thumbs down.</p>
<p>Now I'm glad my son didn't go on any overnighters. I thought that the schools would select positive, enthusiastic students to host prospective students, but it seem that anybody can be a host. My son chose not to go because he had friends report that they were taken to drinking parties (and worse). I was sorry that he missed out on the experience of visiting classes, though.</p>
<p>my daughter went for an overnight at Reed. It was November and cold. I beleive it was midterms and her hostess spent the time studying in the library and left D on her own. She was fairly resourceful however, and found the student commons where she had a long conversation with a prof and read the student newspaper :eek:
The next day she attended classes, which she enjoyed but I think she skipped her scheduled math class because she didn't want to know !</p>