<p>I am an Asian male currently in sophomore year. Since my parents are stereotypical Asian parents, they expect stellar grades and a prestigious college for me in the future. Additionally, I have also been labeled as "talented" and "gifted" by many tests/teachers before. However, I have a girlfriend (without my parents knowing). I don't want to tell them, because they are likely to get extremely angry at me because they think getting a girlfriend compromises everything including grades and ultimately, your future. However, I am NOT spending 24/7 of my time on my girlfriend. In fact, she had helped me through some of my hard times and made me get better grades. My parents will just not understand, and this general question has been bugging me for a long time:</p>
<p>Is it possible to maintain good grades and have a girlfriend (or active social life) at the same time?</p>
<p>you said in your own post that you don't spend all your time with her. if you keep it that way, and maintain a balance b/w your work and her, than you should be fine! :)</p>
<p>Don't get too involved with her, otherwise, yea she could jeapordize your education. You could end up like some kids that are like, "Screw my Ivy acceptance, I can go to a local college and live forever with you." A lot of kids act like they and they rarely succeed. But, hey, unless your really motiviated then having a girlfriend should'nt be a big issue.</p>
<p><em>sigh</em> they're asian rents, what can you do? Will they get mad if you tell them about this gf? All asians go through this stage, hiding things from their strict parents and then having the IHATEMYPARENTS stage. everything'll be okay in the end. =) not so much of a big deal: i'm sure she motivates you since you two are together. good luck! <em>^^</em></p>
<p>If I didn't have an awesome social life, I would be just another pathetic book worm. Where is the fun in that? People envy the few that can balance a social life and school. Your self-efficacy will be higher, and you will thank yourself for not wasting your youth. Live life.</p>
<p>well if you didn't have a girlfriend I doubt you'd spend all the time you are with her studying. She might even have a very positive effect. So I don't see the problem as long as you're getting your work done! Of course explaining that to parents can be a difficult matter, no advice from me on that one :-P</p>
<p>My grades aren't exactly stellar, but they also aren't my main priority. Haha well maybe I'm a bad example BUT the point is, I have TONS of friends who are in relationships and also very social people who do quite well in school. Tell your parents that you need a social outlet as well, otherwise you're just going to be ****ed in the future when you need social skills for your career! LOL :p</p>
<p>It's totally possible if you keep it in check and don't make your girlfriend an obsession. I know people who do that-they spend 24/7 thinking about their relationship, worrying about it, planning for it, freaking about it, etc. and then kind of realize oh **** I didn't do my homework but oh look, there he is, and here I am, I'll just go talk to him instead!</p>
<p>I think it is. I will admit I do not have "stellar" grades, but I do manage to maintain a good GPA. I have been with my boyfriend for close to 2 1/2 years, on top of having a steady/serious relationship, i also have school of course, soccer, work (volunteer and non-volunteer), and a couple other EC's. You just need to be good about prioritizing, and oraganizing your time. I see my boyfriend everyday at school, but we really don't do anything until the weekends. I have a friend who sees her boyfriend pretty much every night, and she slacks off in school.</p>
<p>Adding to what NickyJane said, having a social life is very important in high school and college. I have always been a very social person, but this year especially I have made a lot of close friends. Not only are they good to have around on saturday night to go bowling, but they're also great to have when it comes to school. I know this year, my friends have been very supportive and helpful academically.</p>
<p>As for not telling your parents, I think you should eventually them sometime done the road. It's always so much more fun keeping things from them.... But if you're wanting to tell them, try dropping your gf's name in conversations about school. So they become aware of her as a classmate/friend, if they aren't already.</p>
<p>Hey you could also drop the bomb on your rents like after you already got your report card with awesome grades, and be like, yo, I've been dating this chic the whole time and she obviously didn't hurt my grades so BOOOYAH! :D</p>
<p>Well she did improve my grades, from 3.93 to 3.95. LOL that's a measly improvement but oh well! I'm looking forward to AP exams and SAT II's during May and June when I shall shock my parents and hopefully shake the story out then.</p>
<p>My parents already knows her from conversations about school, but they explictly said, "no dating her", so mehhhh. I brought her to banquets (kind of like your American homecoming) so that's why they have known her before.</p>
<p>But anyways, thanks for ALL your input! There were some very valuable ones up there =)</p>
<p>oasis: same thing with my parents. they wud always be like your wasting your time, your going to break up with him eventually.. and i<code>m asian too lol.
good luck on your AP/Sat 2</code> s. I<code>m sure you can prove to them that your relationship is actually having a postive effect on you.
My parents totally freaked out when they found out i had a bf. they wudnt let me go out with him at all at first. altho that was stressing, they eventually gave in when they knew it didnt affect my grades..
my point is that at some point, they</code>ll understand so dont worry. just forget about your parents right now and focus on school and your girlfriend! my parents are very very very strict, my curfew is like 7pm and all my friends say theyve never met any parent more stirct than mine( ive lived in 3 different countries with many different ppl too lol) at first, they were like noooo and wud not even let me see him. but gradually, they started to understand our relationship, and now, not only do they let me go out with him, they even take us out to dinner.
good luck! dont give up.</p>
<p>Not completely sure if it's related but...
I've been in a long term relationship for 3+ years and counting (since grade 8, and I'm a junior). He's been in two of my classes this year, we live 3 blocks away from each other... it's fun :)
My average has gone up 4-5% since grade 8.</p>