<p>Ok, I know there has to be at least one other girl here that can relate to this. In 9th and 10th grade (mostly 9th) I had problems, like BIG problems with some of the other girls in my school. I'm not going into detail because I don't like churning up bad memories unless I have to but I'll just say that it resulted in alot of absenses and lower grades - not terrible but definately lower than they could have been - on my part. I was talking to one of my friends about it and she said I should indicate this on my applications, but I'm wondering if it's just going to sound like I'm making excuses and colleges hear about this kind of stuff all the time and don't take it seriously. What do you think?</p>
<p>First, let me start off saying I am not a girl, but I think I can help you. People have legit excuses for these things that are sent to colleges all the time, such as deaths in the family. My school asks for these things so we can claim them on our apps if they impacted our work. If you can find someone who works at the school that can truthfully write a letter that what you went through in 9th and 10th grade impacted your grades (like a counselor or principal) then send that in. It can’t hurt.</p>
<p>Its SO easy to stay away from drama. I personally don’t think it’s a viable excuse.</p>
<p>I did try to stay away from drama but sometimes it’s not that easy. My school is extremely small and it’s definately hard to avoid people you see everyday, all the time.</p>
<p>bunny:</p>
<p>mj93 is clueless. Don’t let that sort of ill-informed criticism get you down.</p>
<p>I’ve been the father of girls, and I know what girls can do to other girls. It’s not pretty. In fact, it ugly, vicious, and dead wrong. Some girls are the equivalents of male bullies who rob and beat other kids.</p>
<p>I’d approach this in my essay, if I were you. And I’d use it as a way to show how you’ve grown since then.</p>
<p>thanks! that’s kind of what I was thinking of doing.</p>
<p>I think this situation is better handled in a supplemental 1-2 paragraph letter rather than consume one of your essays – unless you REALLY want to address this squarely in one of them.</p>
<p>I’d think your overall file would be better served by essays on topics you really want to discuss and just include the supplemental note. Good luck to you</p>
<p>When I heard girl problems, I was like having a bad relationship with a girl is a way of life. 
I don’t know if you should talk about it. Good question.</p>
<p>yeahh its confusing…hopefully i’ll figure something out</p>
<p>The world is full of b*<strong><em>es; everyone has an inner b</em></strong>* that yearns to be set free against someone, and you had an invisible lamb chop around your neck. I’m not patronizing you; I am a magnet for every insecure community-college-bound bag of mascara I come into contact with, and if you’re looking for sympathy from anyone other than your mama, let alone busy college admissioners, you’re going to run up against a wall that has “TOUGH. DEAL WITH IT.” spraypainted across it in large friendly letters. </p>
<p>Bottom line? Girls will be girls; girls will rip the souls out of girls whenever possible. That’s life. They don’t call 'em catfights for nothing - every girl gets an eye ripped out sometime in high school. It’s like turning into an apple in Wayside School: it’s part of growing up.</p>
<p>Ahh that’s what i was afraid of, but you’re probably right. =</p>
<p>you should not make it that you want to have their sympathy, just make it seems natural</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I don’t mean it as criticism.</p>
<p>It might make a good essay if you approach the idea carefully.</p>
<p>All I’m saying is, it’s easy to avoid drama in high school. You just have to choose your friends wisely and stay unbiased.</p>
<p>In 6th-7th grade my friend was involved in the popular group. She lost my interest in their drama; it no longer thrilled her. Thus, she left left the popular group and started hanging out with my friends. Since then her life has been a lot more calm.</p>
<p>It really is a personal choice – drama doesnt “happen to you”.</p>
<p>mj93:</p>
<p>Oh yes. Drama CAN just “happen” to you. Take the girl that other girls decide to make a slut. It doesn’t matter why. Maybe they don’t like the clothes you wear, or the fact that you get good grades. Usually, it’s just a way of showing their dominance and, if you happen to be unlucky enough to land in their sights, they’ll pull the trigger.</p>
<p>They start a whispering campaign. The next thing the girl knows, she’s getting phone calls from 22-year-old men at home because her number is posted on tavern walls. She can’t walk down the hall without boys and girls bursting into laughter behind her. “Slut” and “Easy” and “Whore” and “She likes it up the backdoor” are written on her locker. </p>
<p>Or let’s take the case of the small high school (mostly rural). In those schools, there are no periphery groups. You’re either in or out. It’s that simple. If you’re out, both boys and girls will make your life a living hell. Girls will taunt you before the next big dance. “Who’s taking you to the dance?” they’ll say with that merry sneer on their faces. “Oh. I forgot. You’re too ugly to get a date.”</p>
<p>More laughter.</p>
<p>You are either completely naive or one of the mean girls. I don’t know which. I do know that attitudes like yours make it worse for the girls who become targets of bullies.</p>
<p>Grow up.</p>
<p>Bunny27,</p>
<p>Find an individual at work school who knows what you went through. Instead of making it an issue of females being mean, I strongly suggest you frame it as an issue of bullying. Colleges aren’t just looking at you as grades, APs, SAT scores, etc., they are looking at you as a prosepctive community member. Blaming it on an entire gender will raise red flags that you’ll have issues with the females in your dorm, should you be accepted. If you had a tough time because of bullying, consider writing about it in your essay, and ask those writing your letters to mention how you overcame these problems to come back strong.</p>
<p>I should tell my daughter that she had a choice to avoid the drama last year. When another girl had an issue with her and told her mother, who was insane, and who then attacked my husband physically, it was my daughter’s choice for that to happen. Wow. Who knew?</p>
<p>zoosermom:</p>
<p>Annoying, isn’t it? Some people seem incapable of empathy. Own choice indeed.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone’s denying that there are mean girls out there. The question is…do you put in you application. I think someone said something earlier, these colleges are admitting you as part of the college community. If they get the hint that you are antisocial the chances of you being admitted will be cut down a lot less than having slightly worse grades than you would have without the bullying. It’s all a measure of calculated risk and how “worse” your grades were made. If you’re talking about 50 points lower on the SAT or .1 lower in GPA…I would not put it on your app. Basically, such differences are negligible. However, if it’s a significant drop in grades that can be confirmed by teachers, a gc, or even several classmates AND you have proven at one point you earned quality grades and the such you may want to include it in your app. Remember, most importantly, there has to have been a significant period of time you could PROVE that you could do the work. Good luck on your college search.</p>
<p>yeah my grades were probably like a letter or so lower than they could have been. i know i shouldn’t blame a whole gender because there are plenty of nice girls out there, there’s just certain groups that aren’t. i definately wouldn’t consider myself an anti-social person, i’m somewhat shy, but once i get to know and feel comfortable around people i’m pretty friendly and open. i certainly don’t want it to come across that i’m either anti social or lazy so i’m still uncertain if i should even bring this up in the application or just let it die. i’ll see what i can do…</p>
<p>I think social problems in high school can definitely affect one’s state of mind and grades. Find a way to write about the experience without blaming others. Talk about your perspective, how you overcame your challenges, and how it will make you a better citizen of the college you are applying to. If your grades were lowered as a result and you think it might keep you from being admitted to the college of yoru choice, then you have little to lose by mentioning it. If you are applying to a college where you are solidly in the admitted profile, you may want to think about writing about a more positive aspect of your high school life. Either way, talk to your counselor and make sure they know so they can keep it in mind when filling out any information for colleges. Good luck.</p>