<p>There is a strong chance that I will have to move dd from her school after the Jan break, and she will have to finish by e-mail etc. Has anyone else faced this? Was your s/d already accepted via an early program? If so, did you contact the school? If not, did you update the applied to colleges with the news?</p>
<p>We have had this happen at our school and parents have moved and left their senior with a good friend or family to finish out the year. That is one option. Moving would be very stressful on many counts for the student. It can happen because of political events and then not avoided, but perhaps you can figure out a way around it for your child.</p>
<p>My husband finished his senior year without moving by staying with a friend's family.</p>
<p>I agree with overseas that you should avoid this if at all possible.</p>
<p>If at all possible, do not move your D from her school. It is not about applications, which would be all done by then, I assume. It is about her continuing to do well. For example, first semester finals are held in January in our high school. Additionally, colleges expect that students will continue to do well the rest of the year; admissions are contingent on applicants continuing to get good grades. Changing schools in mid-stream jeopardizes this.</p>
<p>If it is absolutely imperative that your D move, you can let the colleges to which she has applied (or where she has been admitted) of the change of address.</p>
<p>Tough situation Sarap. My H's company wanted us to move from one international location to another as our older children were starting 12th and 11th grades. The company was inflexible, so my H changed jobs! I know people who have moved to other international locations with 12th graders, how it goes depends on the kid and the school of course. </p>
<p>Your situation is different since you will move mid year. If you can't arrange for your child to stay on with someone else (which is the easiest in terms of many issues), will your child still get a diploma from the school they now attend? Our school is set up to do some 'on line' teaching as are many in the region due to political considerations- do you have this option and will the school facilitate it? </p>
<p>If your child will get a diploma from their current school, then the only issues are making sure your child does the on-line work, notifying the colleges of a mailing address change and dealing with the fact that your child will not be doing all the 'leaving' activities that most seniors do( This is probably what would have most upset my kids, in fact). If there is a senior trip at spring break or other activities, I would let my child know that I would pay for them to go back for these- and for graduation. I think they are really important, especially if your child has been at the current school for a long time. </p>
<p>Then, there is addressing how your child might view the 6 months they will have in the new location. I wouldn't expect them to adapt, any more than anyone 'adapts' during a long vacation- the hardest thing will be what they will do socially during that time, if they are in effect 'home schooling.'</p>
<p>Some of the large multinationals are very unresponsive about this issue (ie, British companies since so many Brits send their kids off to boarding school). Sometimes you have no choice (emergency evacuations)...sometimes you just have to weigh up the pros and cons of various options, and do what seems best at the time. Good luck.</p>
<p>Robyn...thank you. You've hit the nail on the head. Hubby is out of a job due to a corp merger 12/31. There are HUGE financial implications to staying here, and if he doesn't resign his residency permit they kick in. If he does, then dd and I can no longer stay as our permits are tied to his. We've been told the tax equalization we currently have is gone as of his last day of employment...as is housing, cola etc. Trying to figure out if we can get dd her own student permit but time is short and permits for non EU's are limited...by the end of the year they have none so we may have to wait until Jan.</p>
<p>DD went to virtual school most of a year our first year back out of the US. She is incredibly motivated and where I am talking about taking her is back to the US. We've repatriated once before...she figures she will get her license, a part time job and study for the upcoming IB exams (she's a full diploma student). As a veteran of seven schools she is taking this in stride better than we have a right to expect. We will return on tourist visas no matter what, for her to take her IB exams here and be here for grad.</p>
<p>Weighing the options is exactly where we are...dd has applied ED to her dream school ,and if by some chance is accepted I will talk to them about the second semester before doing anything. </p>
<p>I am truly btwn a rock and a hard place. School here is wonderful and I know they will do all they can to help. In the meantime I hope the company response to our legal challenge is a quick process so my planning is for nothing. But I sleep better with a safety net :-)</p>
<p>Sarap, We are also an international family and I empathize with what youre going through. Aside from the usual anxieties involved with every-day relocation you also have to worry about expatriate packages, tuition, insurance, residency visas, tax implications and sometimes serious security issues. The major bread earners job, for an expat family, often severely affects school, house, benefits, pets and a whole host of adjuncts -- not to mention the basic anxieties of relocation and unemployment.</p>
<p>In some countries, like Hong Kong, the cost of foreign-standard housing is so extreme that families who are transferred or worse given a pink slip often have to pack up and leave within days! Those of us who dont have a permanent home in the States can feel completely cast adrift. Being without income and without home can be extremely stressful. Dealing with all that whilst looking for a job can make parents less than sympathetic to their kids very real concerns as their first objective has to be replacing that income. (Not meant to apply to you. You sound like youre covering all bases.)</p>
<p>In your daughters case, the good news is that her applications are in or close to being in the mail. It may be an inconvenience or a disappointment for her to finish up her high school career at a new school but it wont directly affect her admissions chances. I hope that shell be fully through with the first semester at the time that you leave so that she can send in her ½ year transcript. </p>
<p>The IB is well used to mobile families and can most likely give you advice as well.</p>
<p>After shes decided how to finish up her degree you can contact the colleges that shes applied to. I dont think its necessary to tell them until the situation is clearer. In the event that her ED application doesnt come through the whole experience will make a compelling RD supplement. :) Just make sure that the guidance counselor at her current school knows how to reach you in case s/he receives any queries.</p>
<p>My suggestion is to negotiate your severance so that you get what you want most to help your family over the hump help getting settled on the other end, tuition for whatever she does for her last term, an extended visa for two of you, return airfare for graduation. Corporations can have a heart or at least a guilty conscience. Figure out what they can do to help you and ASK FOR IT!</p>
<p>Good luck on your daughter's ED quest. You deserve it.</p>
<p>Sarap,</p>
<p>Since she is doing full IB, maybe you can land in a place where they have the IB program and enroll her in classes just for exam review. Of course, in reality for the US college attending student, doing well on the senior IB exams is "nice but not necessary", more important is, as Marite says, getting reasonable grades for the 2nd term and getting the diploma...and helping the colleges to understand your situation. </p>
<p>You know people always say, "kids are flexible", and I always think, kids are no more flexible than adults, they just have different ways of expressing it. It sounds like your daughter is unique in how adaptable she is- possibly because she has moved so often, and surely this will get her through. I would decide for yourselves on the 'minimum package' that will look okay to her and you in terms of what they company can/will do for you...and go for that. Anything on top of it is gravy.</p>
<p>When we weren't sure what we were doing my H and I made a big effort to operate on a 'need to know' basis with the kids. At that point my husband was on a US package with no overseas benefits at all, but we were able to stay on tourist visas. There was a chance (because H's US package ended in October and at that point there was not a job to go to) that we would have to bail mid year, and we operated by finding options to keep the eldest son stable...and hoping we wouldn't have to use those options. We were confident (!) and we tried to portray that to the kids. I thought we did a good job since they never expressed 'worry.' When we told them their dad had received several job offers, and we would stay, they were nonchalant and we figured, 'great, they were never worried.' 7 months later I was taking son#2 to look at colleges and we talked about that time in our lives. My son revealed that he and his older brother had talked about it between themselves ALL the time, but never to us as they didn't want to worry us!! </p>
<p>Something that might work for you...does the school need any teachers mid-year, can you get a job (quickly) with a work and stay permit associated with it....if the big priority becomes staying put (though it sounds like you have already decided to pursue alternatives) can you make that work? Just a thought...</p>
<p>You guys have brought tears to my eyes...obviouslythis is a hugely emotional time and you really "get" it, in a way most family/friends don't. If only we could negotiate severance...hubby left the surviving company 4 yrs ago (after 20 years...and they were not happy) to take current job...it is our worst nightmare to have been "bought" back. The guy controlling our severance, is in the words of my husband's boss, "vindictive and irrational". They were mad when he left...and apparently harbor a grudge. </p>
<p>As for other schools...I have checked 10 states, multiple cities (the good news about moving around is there are lots of places I would go live temporarily) and can't find a single IB match, or even close (more than 2 of 6 subjects). This means we will hire tutors, and as we have a home in the US near several uni/colleges I don't expect a huge problem. Don't know exactly what DD's predicted score is, but I exect it will suffer a bit. The key will be to make sure her second semester grades don't. The good news is that she is applying with an SAT composite of 2340, great grades despite switching schools, incredible leadership etc. I know she will have some great choices even if ED dream school doesn't work. I just live in fear that she will get accepted and that this mess will somehow affect it later on.</p>
<p>Hubby is looking for stateside jobs. We have spent 8 of the last 10 yrs out, will have both kids in school in the US and have some aging parent/disabled sibling of whom I am legal guardian issues. In other words, we're ready to go home. At the level he is looking it may be a few more months before things solidify hence the planned temp relo to a vacation house in FL where I have my Dad for back up (we have an aging dog and two cats who will need "sitting" so I can bring dd back for exams)</p>
<p>We have been keeping quiet for months around dd, but as the time draws near where we will have to make some choices and our options look limited (unless the lawyers come thru quickly) she has to be told because she will need to finish internal assessment ahead of schedule. And with the rest of the apps still to get out the door and semester exams the 2nd week of Jan I don't want to spring it on her at the last minute if we do have to go.</p>
<p>If we have to go, any advice on if/when we tell colleges? As long as she is still "going" to the same school, and we don't have to change the mailing adress on her apps(I maintain a US address and have mail forwarded cause we bounce around so much...)I'm not sure when it makes the most sense.</p>
<p>I think all those of us who have worked for, or had spouses work for companies that are ''''merging'''' have experienced the ramifications of the situations that emerge...and often it is as you have described. I think when you are an expatriate, as Momrath said, your life is so tied to the employer that you lose control of so many things, and then periodically chaos occurs(of one type or another)...At those times I guess you just have to figure out the #1 priority for the moment, and work towards that and then hope it gets less muddled over time...Your daughter sounds like a strong candidate and resilient- but also a kid who is losing a lot(because she has a lot to lose- leadership, committments, etc) when she leaves mid year...you are right, you can't spring it on her, but from my experience I would guess she already knows more than she lets on. </p>
<p>Both Momrath and I live in a place where chaos seems to be the norm, except in the confines of the school grounds(usually). We both know kids who had signficant disruptions in their final years of schooling due to evacuations, etc. You are fortunate if your school can deal with you in a flexible and individual manner-they sound pretty accomodating...</p>
<p>I honestly don't think you have to say much to the colleges- will her transcript and report card reflect that she is at the same school? Will she graduate from that school? The reality of your timing is that unless her graduation is somehow tied to her getting her IB diploma, that may be something she can just 'not do' (meaning not finish the extended essay, etc...take the exams she wants to take ultimately if she will get credit at whatever lucky U she decides to attend-- :)...I mean, once she is either in ED or has the applications in, the goal is different, in reality- it is no longer admission, no longer getting the IB diploma....it is getting the HS diploma in fact, and maintaining good grades for the final report- or am I mistaken??</p>
<p>The next few weeks will be the toughest, obviously. Knowing is always better than not knowing...Good luck.</p>
<p>The good news is that her EE is done...internal deadline for both it and World Lit 2 is this week. She will just have her TOK paper, language 2 oral, and I think one more math hl investigation. If we get back in March for a few weeks I think she can make all of the IB deadlines, and I think the school (it is a tiny class...20 students) will be flexible about their internal deadlines. Her CAS was done at the end of ly...and she has started to think about who she will turn over leadership of the programs she runs to.</p>
<p>She is a really great kid who doesn't deserve to have this chaos happen. Unfortunately life is not always fair and while it may make for a less than perfect senior year I am convinced that like all of the other "life skills" she has developed, if we plan carefully, the experience will ultimately on balance prove to be a positive on. At the very least, the transition back to the US that my older daughter is going through, at the same time she is adjusting to college, will be minimized. </p>
<p>With all the chaos my life has brought I have truly come to believe that things happen for a reason. For the life of me, I don't get this one, but I have to believe we will muddle through as we have before, ending up in a better place than we were before and enriched by the journey. Otherwise I may have to start having martinis with my cereal!</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you for the help/guidance and support. The expat community the globe over is a truly unique and wonderful group of people and it will be the thing I miss most about our years overseas.</p>
<p>
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If we have to go, any advice on if/when we tell colleges?
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<p>First her ED school: Youll know in a couple of weeks if shes in. If yes, then write them and explain your familys situation. My guess is that they will be supportive. If its a no go, then who cares what they think? (Expletive deleted.)</p>
<p>If shes not yet sent her RD applications, then perhaps she could include a brief and vague, well-keep-you-posted, note. With her stellar record up to this point I doubt that the colleges would be anything but sympathetic. Once youve determined what youre going to do, she can most likely present her circumstances in a positive light (at least on paper).</p>
<p>I am assuming that even in the worst case that you will stay in country long enough for your daughter to take her semester exams in January and that she will therefore be able to submit mid-year grades. Thats all that anyone has at the time of their application and acceptance. Second semester grades as long as they stay above water (B-level) are mostly superfluous. Fugettaboutit. Again, Im sure that the colleges will accept whatever route your daughter takes to complete her senior year. </p>
<p>I know from when we were almost in the same situation (Like a rolling stone: "With no direction home, Like a complete unknown":)) that Florida has a disproportionate number of IB high schools. Maybe you can mix and match among schools? (I am assuming that your daughter will get course semester grades and will graduate from high school whether she takes the IB exams or not.)</p>
<p>At this point Id concentrate on getting her into college and put finishing up the IB as the second priority. The first is not dependent on the second. Although not being able to follow through with the complete IB diploma would be unfortunate as Im sure shes invested a lot sweat and tears in getting there, it wont affect her college acceptances. Different colleges have completely different systems for awarding credit or advancement based on IB scores. Dont worry about that yet. Its a big relief that shes already sent off her extended essay.</p>
<p>Id wait until you get the ED news on December 15 then have a strategy pow-wow that includes your daughter. If she has good news from her ED school then it wont be too painful. If its bad news on ED, piling on more negativity will be very difficult but unfortunately all the more necessary as youll need her to sign on to the plan and communicate it to her RD schools. I think the best therapy (even in normal circumstances) is to get the RD applications ready to roll before the ED yea/nay comes in.</p>
<p>The vindictive/hostile new manager is a nightmare scenario, especially when it concerns YOUR MONEY. Sometimes theres nothing you can do but be thankful that your husband wont be working for him or his lousy company. Keep smiling.</p>
<p>I'm making progress :-)...it must be all that positive energy from you guys! I found a website with a number of short term furnished rentals where I don't need a permit to rent!!! I've also found a way to get a car (cause I have to surrender plates and can't have insurance w/o that dang permit). European delivery of US spec vehicle...drive in Europe for six months on int'l plates and they'll ship it back! Now, if I can get movers and animals sorted this just might work. DD and I can spend a few weeks in the states leaving after Jan exams(get the animals settled), return for a few weeks after ski break, head out again early for spring break and get back for last week before exams as well as exams, with a final return trip for grad. (And I was worried about losing my frequent flyer status next year!) All in all I think we can do this on tourist visas with her missing no more than 5 weeks of school (thank god for int'l schools with lots of vacations). Yes, its alot, but most will be revision and I'll just need to make sure she has tutors and can keep up with classwork.</p>
<p>Anyway, for the first time in months I'm feeling hopeful. Roof over our heads, a vehicle to drive, some extended stateside "vacations" for DD, some dog sitting for my dad, and some nasty Amex bills, but not the end of the world. </p>
<p>So Mr Vindictive may not win his grudge match after all.....how he got to be the HR executive for a global fortune 50 is beyond me...all the talk about caring about employess certainly feels like a bunch of #^%#&%*, as does the dignity and respect with which they promised to treat employees during the merger. </p>
<p>It will give me great personal pleasure to not only survive this nightmare, but to send my dd to one of her dream schools (fingers crossed) on the money that they are expecting to have cost us (we are in one of those expensive housing locals and the full rent they are asking us to pay on our house for six months is more than 2 yrs tuition)</p>
<p>So now I have a plan B. It feels great :-) Thanks again...I'll keep you posted.</p>
<p>Not to mention, the intense closeness with a child when these sorts of things are happening...and the fortuitous timeliness related to her upcoming departure...you'll never forget the last 6-8 months together while you are 'camping out' in the rental place! The best thing is to feel like you can control at least some of the situation, rather than having it control you in entirety. We just 'bought' a new computer with the Amex points collected from our 'temporary living' experiences a few years ago...there is always an upside :)</p>