<p>My D is a junior and will be applying to US universities in the fall. She is American but has been living overseas since pre-K. She has attended American or international schools and has taken honors and AP courses successfully. She has an excellent record and has done some amazing ECs in developing countries etc, but we are concerned that she is not prepared for the college transition. She will be on her own in the States, the rest of the family will remain overseas, and she won't have many relatives to visit for long weekends etc. I'd appreciate advice from other expat kids and parents about your re-entry experiences and college transition.</p>
<p>We have this potential problem to come, but as D has applied to various schools, she has emailed people listed as contact persons for clubs she is interested in joining. This has been a successful way to "meet" people before she arrives, as well as evaluate the school. Also, if your child has a sport, the coaches can tell you if the team operates like a family or not and put you in touch with other team members, even those with the same major, to get to know by email. One coach said they make sure everyone has a place to go for Thanksgiving and D liked that a lot. We are also contacting friends and distant relatives that she might be able to visit even if it will mean a journey; they have been surprisingly supportive about meeting D and offering hospitality. The other thing I would suggest is joining a church or temple or whatever if your child has a faith as support is usually found there. Hope this helps.</p>
<p>usmom - I never thought about clubs and sports contacts at potential colleges - that was excellent advice, thanks!!</p>
<p>Holycow, it may not be for her but Lewis & Clark in Oregon was one school that we visited where they made a point of talking about the unusually large number of TCK's they have in their student body. Just thought I'd mention it because it may be something you simply want to ask admissions about when you contact them.</p>
<p>We have been overseas for 12 years. My eldest is a college freshman and my next son is a HS senior, so we are going through what you are experiencing.</p>
<p>Strategies that have helped thus far:
1. Select a college which has a good sized international population- not all will be TCK, but at least the diversity will be there. My sons both know they will not be happy at a school which is not international in orientation, though no school will be like there HS.
2. Have your child communicate with an international or TCK at the schools they are thinking of attending
3. Encourage your child to participate in the International student orientation at their school. My son had 65 ready made friends after his orientation, many are still good friends
4. The single best thing my son did to transition was to have a summer job on a college campus (not the school he attends).This was completely lucky as he got used to American life, meeting kids, and dorm life. He is lucky that his aunt was able to get him this job...but I think any work which increases your child's sense that they can "handle America" will be a good idea!
5. Organize a place for Thanksgiving. We had friends living 5 hours away who drove in to pick up my son (they were the closest, now they are back overseas!)
6. I attended orientation with my son for 48 hours (he had already had the international orientation which preceded it- he didn't need me there, I needed to be there!). It gave me a very good idea of the people, structure of his life and place which helps when I talk with him. I made for him a montage of photos (as a boy, he was less likely to do this on his own), helped him get his room set up, took him to WalMart, that sort of stuff. It was a good 48 hours for us.
7. Discuss what your child wants to do for their first Christmas. Most kids here want to come "home" and see all their friends, it is a real ritual for them...and I want to make sure son#2 can do it as well. I think it is very important.
8. Ensure your child has knowledge about what the challenges are for TCK's going back to the US...there are some well written books on the topic...definitely age appropriate.
9. Pre-emptively request an American roommate for your child. My son has a Chinese roommate, and I think it would have been better for him, though maybe not for the Chinese young man, to have an American-American (not TCK) roommate...but my son is very mellow and hasn't complained
10. Encourage your child to pursue one or two of their interests and get involved quickly on arrival. My son has done joined a religion affiliated group and started a Bollywood movie club (among other things)- sure to attract the international crowd
11. Facilitate your child staying in touch with friends as much as possible. My son just asked if he could visit friends instead of the grandparents at break, the answer, of course...they need to stay in touch with their HS friends</p>
<p>Hope this helps...so far so good for my first, I can only hope it goes as smoothly with #2!!</p>
<p>Our S is at a US uni--9300 miles away from home. </p>
<p>He experienced the classic adjustments--living on a floor that sounded like Animal House, teaching himself to wake to an alarm (my bad), making friends, joining intramurals, adding and dropping calsses, supervising his own studies, meeting with profs. Is your daughter social? If she is, then I don't think you need to worry. They learn so much from their peers. </p>
<p>S has the option of going to relatives over long weekends--but wouldn't dream of it! For President's weekend, he took the train down to DC to see friends. For Spring Break, he bought a $160 rt ticket to Florida and is going with friends from uni. One advantage: kids with international driver's licenses can rent cars at 18. </p>
<p>We have had a few problems and we have learned to patiently work with the administration until they understand the situation. S also got very sick this semester--sick enough for us to ask if he wanted to come home. (He scoffed at the idea). The university clinic actually did a superb job of diagnosing and medicating him--but I did wish that I had a good friend in the city. I ended up gettting a doctor rec from another friend in another city. Do you have any friends in the city where you D might live?</p>
<p>Your D sounds quite accomplished and hardworking. She will be fine. Even when we do have friends in cities--our S avoids staying with them. He vastly prefers his own peer group--and that is fairly typical of the age, I think.</p>
<p>One tip: Don't knwo where you live but if you are on the other side of the world you might consider Round the World Airfares. They are the same cost as There and Back tickets and they give the student a chance to see some wonderful parts of the world--on the way to and fro.....</p>
<p>Thanks for all this great advice. My D will definitely come home for longer holidays - Christmas, spring break etc, but I was worried about Thanksgiving and long weekends.<br>
I had not even considered what if she gets sick at college - now something new to worry/think about. I read somewhere that every college freshman should get a meningitis shot.<br>
You have all been so helpful - thanks!!</p>
<p>Every college age student should have a shot for meningiococcal meningitis...this is true. My son's school offered to facilitate if we couldn't do it ourselves. It is well worth it to talk with your child about the medical and mental health resources on campus well in advance of needing them.</p>
<p>As the suggestions (all excellent) have come in from parents so far, I'm going to offer my perspective as an American who came to the US for college never having lived in the US, whose parents were in Africa and Europe during those four years, no close relatives of the older generation nearby, one older sibling also in college about 6 hours away. In those pre-email days, even international phone calls had to be booked in advance. Two things: (1) Never underestimate the friendliness of Americans. I was invited home for Thanksgiving dinner every year not just by fellow students (some of whom I barely knew) but also by professors (some of whom I definitely didn't know but who had my name on an 'international' list). This was at Harvard - not known for being nurturing but all these years later I am still overwhelmed by the friendliness of the college community. And (2) There WILL be culture shock. No getting around it. My own TCK is probably going to go 'home' for college next year and my only criterion in her college search is 'find something near to an international airport.'</p>
<p>My son has been overseas since K-4. He returns every summer to the states and has participated with other Americans in driving school classes as well as a 5 week music summer program for the past 4 years. The worst culture shock for him was when he was in one or two week summer camps at age 8, 9 and 10. When he talks about those experiences now, it was very difficult for him and he learned many skills on fitting in with different groups in the states. One of the main things he searched for in a college or university was diversity of the student body: how many internationals. Some of the places he has applied to are closer to family members than others. I have no authority on this subject since he has not experienced the switch yet; but I can say that taking time to visit places the summer before kids apply is worth so much. It was expensive for us but of great value. Unfortunately we could only visit in the summer. Better than nothing.</p>
<p>Visiting was well worth it. We very much appreciated those schools which went out of their way to provide an international/TCK student as a guide or interviewer. We had the amazing experience in several schools of my son running into kids from other schools in Asia whom he knows from MUN, forensics, theater festivals, etc.. At one of the schools there were 3 kids in the room at once who had all participated in the same MUN in Bangkok. The students working in the admissions office looked on with disbelief and jealousy ( a bit) as they prattled on like long lost friends. These TCK have such an affinity for each other, it is amazing. </p>
<p>The culture shock is real, I mean I feel it every summer when I go back and I lived in the US for 36 years before moving overseas, so of course the kids feel it, too. On some levels it is very superficial, and in other ways quite poignant, actually. The logistical issues can make or break the deal, I think...it is worth the trouble to really try to find a place that has the attributes your child needs-- minimize problems to the extent you can so that they can focus on being themselves and making that work for them.</p>
<p>I'm debating the visit issue for S2. It's a major schlep and right in the middle of winter. Ugh. </p>
<p>S1 visited ten schools and decided he wasn't an engineer. (Whew! That saved us $40k). He also decided he wanted a big school in a big city. He ended up going to a big school/big city university he never visited and seems perfectly happy with that decision. </p>
<p>He had a Japanese roommate for the first part of the semester. Even though the boy had gone to US boarding schools, he was very lonely as a 20 year old freshman--on the most socially active floor on the whole campus. Is your D outgoing? Does she make friends easily? She must--if she's travelling to other countries to do volunteer work. She will be able to suss out a place to for Thanksgiving and Spring Break. Don't worry! (Out loud at least :))</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>OK, I've read this thread, and I'm just stupid, I can't figure it out - what's a TCK? Thanks in advance {She strikes her forehead, knowing the obvious is escaping her}</p>
<p>I'm wondering too... it is T---- College Kid?</p>
<p>Googled it:</p>
<p>Third Culture Kids. </p>
<p>And they have their own website. Naturally. <a href="http://www.tckworld.com%5B/url%5D">www.tckworld.com</a></p>
<p>Interesting website. Thanks cheers. I still can't figure out which type of school would be best for D. It seems to me that big city universities will have the diversity she is used to but small LACs would probably have that 'everybody knows everybody' feel that the small international schools she's attended have.</p>
<p>OH! Half of my nieces and nephews are these, and my BIL! Thanks</p>
<p>Hmmmmm holy. What sort of personality does she have? I have found that 'everybody knows everybody' group in every location--from Singapore to Manhattan but I am a complete extrovert.</p>
<p>Kids whom I know who have grown up overseas and then go back to the US for college (Or elsewhere) have been happy at small, medium, large, urban, suburban and rural schools. It depends on the kid. Our school happens to push the smaller LAC's, but that has much more to do with the learning style issue than anything else. I think student diversity- in particular the % of kids from international backgrounds (TCK's who are US passported don't get counted in that number, by the way) is significant. Another thing we looked at was the % of kids from in state/out of state....so that we could figure out the degree of regional diversity. My son ended up at an LAC with a very high (relatively) % of internationals...and this has been his initial friendship group, though it is expanded now. My friends with older kids who have gone to similar schools have noted the same thing.</p>
<p>A rep at a college fair I attended said expat kids are considered international applicants. I am not sure exactly what that means. As far as My Ds personality goes, she is very extroverted - she's had to make new friends every time we have moved and every year good friends move away. We looked at several colleges last summer - LACs, big city universities, and inbetween. She didn't seem to have a preference. One of her counselors said that spending four years with the same small group of kids often doesn't work for tcks and that tcks college students tend to transfer more than any other group of students. I hope a few tck returnees post on this thread which might give some interesting insights.</p>