Hi All,
My daughter will be a senior next year in hs, other daughter will be a junior in college. My younger daughter for the longest time said she hated my daughter’s school when we visited and even moved her in freshman year. However, last year something changed and she now says she loves it. However, I have major reservations about them attending the same school. The 2 are extremely close. I’m worried it would stop my daughter from making friends her freshman year. And then older sister would graduate. I think they’d spend too much together. On the other hand, my younger daughter is a very worried person and keeps telling me she can’t picture herself anywhere else. Does anyone have any advice/went through this experience? My younger daughter is ready to apply ED, but were just not sure its the right choice. School is around 15,000, but since they are so close I know they would see each other A LOT.
Can you have a family meeting with both daughters to discuss your concerns?
Have you and younger daughter visited other schools? What type of school do you think would be a good fit for her?Have you discussed this with your daughter? Would older daughter’s school be a good place for your youngest if you took away your sibling concerns? A lot can happen between now and the first application deadlines. I have two girls; as she headed to her senior year the younger had every intention of going to the same school as her sister. Even though first D was/is thriving at her school we didn’t think it was a great fit for second D. We strongly encouraged her to visit other schools just to see what they are like. In the end, she did apply EA to her sister’s school. She also ended up applying and being accepted ED to a very different school that became her first choice.
I would advise against it unless it is a large state university where clearly there is plenty of room. I attended the same LAC as my two sisters at the same time. (Senior, Junior and Freshman). And it wasn’t because my parents got any financial aid–quite the contrary, lots of students loans.
Even though we were Biology, Psychology and Chemistry majors respectively and ran in different social circles, there was too much togetherness. There were upsides, but in the end, I think it would have been better for each to have our own college. Middle sister only got accepted to same college so didn’t have a choice.
My brother went to the same college that i did. He was sweet because he first called me at college and asked if I would be OK if he applied. I saw him a lot during the first week and then it quickly tailed off to the point where we had to call and make plans to meet for lunch once in a while. I think your D should talk to her older sister first if she is OK with her applying. And the younger sister should agree to not use her sister as a crutch and to find her own friends and make her own life at the school.
I think it is up to the kids. I doubt your younger daughter would make no friends because of always being with her sister. Did they go to the same high school? Did they have all the same friends?
I have two the same age and they did not want to go to the same college at all. Ended up 2000 miles apart. Now they are much better friends than they were in high school, but still don’t have the same friends this summer.
I did the same thing and don’t regret it. As a freshman she will probably have to live in the dorms and will quickly make her own friends - unless it’s close enough to your home town that all the same people that she’s always known will be there too
Just get them together and clarify for younger D that older sis is not there to be her entire social life. Might be nice for nervous freshman to know her sis is around to touch base with as long as both agree on boundaries and expectations.