<p>I want to go out of state for college if I don't get into the college in state that I want. How do I handle going out state for college when I grew up in a really close family. I'm really close with my brothers and parents. My one brother goes to school 45 mins from home and its a really prestigious school and they have want I want to major in. I'm applying to schools out of state that I want to go to for backup in case I don't get in. I want to go out of state to be more independent and I like the warmer weather in the south because I hate the cold also for other various reasons. How do I make going out of state easier on me being from such a close family?</p>
<p>How do I make going out of state easier on me being from such a close family?</p>
<p>Are you afraid of becoming “homesick”? Are you afraid that going OOS will mean that you won’t be able to afford to come home for holidays?</p>
<p>Are you afraid that you’re going to miss family celebrations…birthdays, etc? </p>
<p>Is your family OK with you going OOS? Are they ok with paying the costs for you to go OOS?</p>
<p>What exactly are your concerns?</p>
<p>You start out with a positive attitude: I’m going to do something different. I’m going to go slightly beyond my comfort level, but I’m OK with that. Going out of state doesn’t mean I don’t love my family or home town. It means I’m just going to discover another place to love. And I will stay in close contact with my family through phone calls/emails so that they can share this experience with me, and so that it’s a positive adventure for all of us.</p>
<p>^^^^^After you’ve asked yourself those excellent questions, one thing you might consider doing is a practice run by attending a summer program at a college OOS for a few weeks, or as many weeks as you can afford to attend. Many colleges and universities have such summer sessions for HS students. While not the same as the real thing, it should give you some sense if your issues are about homesickness and staying connected to your close family.</p>
<p>I will address the ‘making it easier coming from a close family’ even if it is 45 minutes away.
These are suggestions through the recent years that I gave my D’s and D’s gave their friends from highschool who went to other colleges:</p>
<p>1.Do not stay in your dorm room when you first get there. Hang out in the lobby. Go to the dorms rooms next to you and introduce yourself. Compliment who you meet about anything you like ‘love the wastebasket, love your computer, love the city you are from, etc.’. Go to movie nights,etc.</p>
<p>2.Introduce yourself at meals. Smiling help.
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3.Remember other students are just as nervous as you are.</p>
<p>4.Try not to go home on all weekends and go to activities at your school that weekend. You can google talk for free to family or talk on the phone. Call them once a week on a weekend. Family needs to know you need to study, too. Hang out in the library to study.</p>
<p>5.Join a club. Try them out. If you don’t like ultimate frizbee go to the outdoors club. Try an intermural sport even if you have no idea how to play it. Try a choral group. Anything. </p>
<p>6.Have food around like cookies, snacks. It draws people into your room.</p>
<p>7.Decorate your room with bright colors. Colored posters, etc. Nothing at all expensive. It helps to draw people in. I realized this when both my D’s went to college. Their rooms were top picks for the next year- it was exactly the same as any other room but people thought it was more comfortable. They did not realize it was the decorations, pillows, stuffed animals. Both D’s thought this was a funny result of decorating.</p>
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<li>Someone who is from somewhere else will also need a new friend. Find them. They can make a trip home with you and you can share your family with them.</li>
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<p>Eventually you form lifelong friends.</p>
<p>For anyone considering an out of state college, consider the following:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>most public colleges reserve most of their need-based aid for in-state students,</p></li>
<li><p>many states offer annual grants to low and middle income students for college, but most do not allow the money to be used at out of state colleges, or they only provide a small grant if you go out of state, and</p></li>
<li><p>if you will need to fly home, take a look at the cost of air fares before the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.</p></li>
</ul>