Also prestige is a catchall for a lifelong high achieving kid network. And you get some deference whenever you go into a business meeting with people who don’t know you. I went to a “prestigious” undergrad in a different country (prestigious because it is hard to get in; acceptance rates in the basis points), and I see benefits to this day. People take you seriously without you having to try very hard to sell yourself.
2 Likes
I see the same here. DD got very nicely paying side gig because she is good at what she does but the only reason they ever start talking to her was because of the name of the school she graduated from. Everyone who work for them graduated from top 5 universities.
2 Likes
@neela1 In any earlier post in this thread today, did I understand correctly that you have a son who is currently in college and that you gave him your credit card for spending money and he has an idea of what you consider to be reasonable spending on certain things? That is interesting, but not sure I could do that.
When my kids were in college, we gave them an allowance for “spending money” (this is beyond necessities). I think it was fairly generous. In addition to this allowance, they supplemented it with earnings of their own from summers or from prior to starting college. As well, they had a clothing allowance separate from the spending money. In my view, this makes the kid have to manage/budget their money. The “method” of “here’s my credit card, be reasonable” seems to not really teach living within a particular budget.
My kids started college just one year apart from one another. D1 had no problem managing her spending money. D2, who started college at age 16 in Manhattan, too quickly went through the allowance in her first year. We made a mistake with her by depositing the full allowance for the year into her bank account as we had with D1. We learned quickly that this was not good and changed to giving her the same amount but in monthly installments and she learned to spend within that budget (again, it seemed generous to us, though she did have some rich friends who had unlimited access to funds for discretionary things). I just think at some point, a young adult should have to learn how to manage within a certain budget or income (even if just a college kid on an allowance). Just my thoughts.
3 Likes
I think that what constitutes a good salary depends in part on the cost of living in the area. This is why some companies that are located in very high COL areas have discussed reducing salaries for formerly-on-site employees who choose to work remotely & move from that area. But what is “good” also depends on the expectations an individual has for things & experiences that cost money. H & I have relatively simple tastes, and while our kids consider certain things more important than we do because they grew up in a different era, their tastes are also pretty simple. That has allowed all of us to be comfortable no matter how much we make … but we are all well aware that none of us has ever been at risk of homelessness or starvation. So from that point of view, we’ve all earned “enough.”
But … I absolutely did not earn a good salary for the job I did. I was underpaid. The financial aid field is in crisis because it has historically underpaid employees, and people are leaving for greener pastures. Although I don’t know the exact numbers, I know enough to know that my 30-something kids make more than I ever made. I would have had enough to make it on my own (because my house is paid off & my taxes are relatively low) if I had to live on just my salary, but I would have had very little savings & retirement would have been in the very distant future.
1 Like
Our D has her name on one of our credit cards for emergency use only. Her discretional spending is 100% on her and from her own account. If she is going to use our card, she texts us first.
“Be reasonable” would not have worked for me either.
3 Likes
Our DD had credit card in her name for credit score purposes while in college that we paid for. She also didn’t have unreasonable expenses charged to that credit card.
That’s us, too. One has our credit card in her name (she’s the favorite🤣), but will ask first. The others use their debit cards and ask if we can Venmo. They didn’t even have allowances in high school (except lunch money, which the youngest 2 missed out on for 1 1/2 years due to Covid), but they all worked since they were 14 (the favorite didn’t have a job until senior year because her schedule was morning yo night, but she tutored and babysat in her free time). Dd21 started college with $11,000, her twin started with $10, they’re very different. She’s working 7 days a week this summer at 2 jobs (plus some babysitting) and she absolutely loves it.
1 Like
Our kids had their name on our credit card for emergencies and could only be used with our permission. It was not for spending money. As well, since they had a clothing budget we paid for, they could use it for that, but a record was kept continually of how much money was left in their clothing budget for the year. Spending money was an allowance we deposited into their checking accounts, plus any monies they earned themselves.
I’ve cut my own hair since I was a teen. It takes some practice to get used to working with scissors in a mirror. But at least you only have yourself to blame if things go wrong.
3 Likes
Out of curiosity, do you (or have you…) use a bowl to help accomplish this? hehe
That would be too easy. You should try it some time though.
1 Like
Out of curiosity, I looked up the salary scale where I once taught elementary school before I had kids (obviously it was much lower back then) and this is also where my kids attended elementary school (a wonderful school I might add). Currently, the salary range for an elementary teacher there is $39,900 to $82,840 and the average is $58,840. I totally understand the range varies a lot based on where one lives, but this is why my view of education jobs being underpaid comes from.
It has worked for us so far. We’ll see how the other kid responds to this system :-).
We don’t budget in the house. For the most part we try not to spend. Except for private school/college tuition.
I tell the kids we have very little, and I behave accordingly. Then they get the message.
For the most part if they make money, it is theirs. I don’t use it to pay tuition or their other regular expenses. The older one has some number in mind which if he hits, work becomes more optional for him. This is additional motivation to spend below capacity.
Also we want the kids to learn to spend a bit more than us.
I learned not to give my second child a credit card in college, I don’t remember if I told the limit we had told her, but let’s say she pretended it’s a miscommunication. She had no car freshman year in college either.
When barbers/salons were closed during COVID, I cut my own hair using $7 sheers I bought on Amazon. I used fingers to gauge length (not bowl). The only challenging part was the back. I used my phone as a mirror while cutting/shaving the back. I also took pictures of the back when done, to confirm that lines were straight and symmetrical. After reviewing the pictures, I’d make some minor touchups. I also would typically make a few more minor touchups at times over the next day. I was as satisfied with the end result as the place where I had usually cut my hair prior to COVID. After salons/barbers opened up again, I’ve still mostly cut my own hair.
4 Likes
I find it remarkable that a young adult making $10k/month thinks she can spend that much on personal upkeep in a high cost of living area. High maintenance, for sure.
$10k gross monthly doesnt go far at all in SF.
4 Likes
Whatever is important to them right? My son was thinking out aloud what he will spend money on and what he won’t. For example he said people at the firm he is considering travel business class for personal travel, and was trying to justify to himself why that made sense :-). He said he wants to live walking distance from work. I told him that makes sense.
1 Like
Ideally one where all your expenses are covered, plus you still have more left for investments, savings and pursuing your passions in life
4 Likes
That was 10k net in cash only if you read what I said. After maximum 401k contribution and taxes. Not including RSU that fluctuate greatly and bonuses. That is plenty when living with roommate and paying under 2k in rent
1 Like
Our S got a significant gift (about $8k in 2006) when he started college. We told him that would be all the money he was getting. He made it last all 4 years and likely beyond that. He has always been good about deferring gratification and saving. He has always lived well below his means but likes nice things so makes sure he earns enough that he can afford them comfortably.