I don’t know how much my kids spend on things, If I did I would have a headache. I prefer not to know.
2 Likes
Yeah, I am sure my mother would have a conniption as well.
1 Like
I have no idea what of how S spends. I just know he earns a lot more than we did and has for a long time and spends less than he earns so his savings continue growing.
As we freely discussed money and finances with our son as he was growing up, he feels comfortable continuing these conversations with us as an adult. We know how much he makes, saves, invests, spends, and how he uses his disposable income, but I think this is because he’s in his first job (he never had a paying job before the Army) and handling a paycheck is new to him. I think sharing the details at the level he does will abate as the novelty wears off.
5 Likes
D is still sharing salary info with us too as H helps her with her investments and retirement accounts. I expect that she’ll consult with us when she gets her first formal offer as well, but she’s done her due diligence and knows the starting salaries for her major and experience.
I also think the level of details will drop off as she gets older and more confident handling her own finances.
2 Likes
I know older S’ rent and he shares his investment/retirement account numbers. But I have no idea what he spends on entertainment, clothes, etc. i did. ask about their utility bill last night cause I was curious and jealous. It’s 15-20% of ours. Big old house with high rates vs an apartment.
We have full financial transparency with our kids. They know how much we make and we have the same information about them.
1 Like
I know how much my kids make and how much saving they have, maybe 90% of it anyway. But they don’t share how much they spend for haircut and I don’t ask.
My kids call me when they get a raise or bonus, even my son-in-law will call me when he gets a good bonus. I have helped them negotiate their salaries when they get a new job.
When they buy or rent an apartment they’ll talk it over with me.
It’s a very organic thing. I don’t necessary ask and they are not obligated to tell me, but it just comes up when we are talking about various things. They also know my salary.
5 Likes
My older son, currently working in banking, is and has always been very interested in talking $ so he volunteers more info than my other two sons do just as part of our conversations. And getting a good deal on something is a multi-generational topic of conversation. We used to joke that my Mom rarely gave a present without telling how much she saved buying it. It was a point of pride for her. And I’m similar in talking about bargains, coupons, going during the low season, etc. although I try to refrain from doing it with presents (although sometimes I just can’t resist). So we all have that type of conversation, not bragging about how much they spend on things but how little compared to what could be.
3 Likes
This may not be exactly related to this thread, but as my kids went into college I kind of thought what you did - they should have a budget.
However, my kids turned out to be incredibly frugal, and they likely would have saved money every month if I’d given them a budget to spend. I remember noting that my kid paid 7 bucks for ice cream a couple of times. My husband said “be glad it’s not beer, and a lot more.” My other kid ate about as cheaply as possible, and shopped at Costco (for roommates too) even knowing I was paying for everything. They continue to be frugal as adults, and save a lot, so it turned out OK.
1 Like
For the frugal kid (like @1214mom 's kids or @soozievt 's first kid), it seems like it does not really matter how tightly the parent enforces budgeting during college. For the spendy kid (like @soozievt 's second kid), parent enforced budgeting does matter (and the parent hopes that lessons about spending habits and budgeting do sink in).
We never made a budget for either kid but both were pretty frugal and did fine figuring it out on their own.
A post was merged into an existing topic: How much do you pay for haircuts and/or coloring, etc…
@ucbalumnus I want to clarify that as it is a bit misconstrued. When my kids were in college (still supported by parents), we gave them an allowance for spending money, and they also had earned some spending money themselves prior to college to enhance that. Both were given the same amount. Yes, I commented that D2 went through the money before her freshman school year ended. We didn’t then put her on a “budget.” The mistake we made was to deposit the lump sum all at one time and she didn’t know how to make it last. Even adults are often paid on a salary on a weekly basis. So, starting in sophomore year, we deposited the money monthly…never had anything to do with any budget or overseeing of it. I want to add this daughter went away to college at age 16, when most parents here’s kids were still in high school living at home. D2, in sophomore year, age 17-18, no longer wanted a meal plan (the dorm was apartment style) and we also deposited the equivalent funds of her meal plan as a food deposit, but again, not in one lump sum for the year. She eventually got the hang of it. She had NO different “budget” than her sister. Her sister simply could have the whole sum in a bank account and knew how to steadily make it last (but she started college one year older than her sister did too, and was in a smaller city than her sister). In any case, we never gave D2 any more money than her sister. She just learned to manage it better after a year on her own in a big city as still just a teenager, not truly an adult. I will also clarify that D2 is not a “spendy” kid. She has lived on her own from a young age and has supported herself 100% starting at age 20 and has never run into money problems.
3 Likes
Salaries are subjective based on local housing costs and the market for a particular job. Gas, insurance, food, utilities, etc. also vary widely. They’re impossible to compare.
1 Like
I’m pretty sure one could pay a lot less for all of that. I’m in the NYC area and I pay $60 for a haircut (once in a blue moon), don’t bother with manicures or waxes.
True, you can’t do exact comparison on salaries. But new grads can get a general sense of it via Cost of Living calculators. Here’s one (there are many out on the web) - Cost of Living Calculator | City and Salary Comparison Tool - NerdWallet
Here is an extreme example (San Francisco $100k salary purchase power is approx same as Kansas City $48k). The link has more details - Cost of Living Calculator | San Francisco, CA vs. Kansas City, MO-KS - NerdWallet
2 Likes
I buy $40 Groupon for my cuts. As we get older we chose the level of the personal maintenance we do. Like I don’t remember last time I had manicure. It’s completely different story for young people in their 20th with active social life. Personal maintenance for women who choose to take care of themselves adds up between waxing, haircuts, manicure, gym, etc
S18 should earn about $45,000 this year as a new teacher in an average expense community. He owns his car and has no debt to pay. After taxes, $600 a month rent, car insurance and gas, he’ll have about $1800-2000 a month to spend on food, entertainment and other expenses. So he’ll be lucky to save much more than $500 a month, I am guessing. Given that, I’d say a “good” salary in his region would be at least $60,000 to account for more savings, a car note, etc…