Got rescinded from UC Irvine!!!

I recently got rescinded from UC Irvine because I received a D for my freshman year English classes. Here is my appeal letter. Can someone help me about it? Thank you!!!

Dear Admissions Office,

        I am writing to appeal my rescinded offer from UC Irvine. I fully understand and regret that I have not fulfilled the conditions stated in the freshman contract, but I would like to urge you to reconsider the withdrawal of my admission. I received a D in the second semester of English 9(Language Art 1) course, I don’t mean to make excuses for the poor grade I received, but I would like to explain the circumstances. 
        I am a student who came from a foreign country two and half years ago. In order to fulfill UC requirement for English courses, I had to make up my freshman year English class. When I was taking English 9 class on the website called Apex during the second semester of my senior year, I had a lot of mandatory AP practice exam which took place on Saturday at my school. Those practice exams were counted as tests which affect my grades. Also, my swim team requires me to attend swim practices on Saturday morning during swim season. Unfortunately, the online class for English 9 was also taking place on Saturday in the district. I could only unlock the following units or finish the writing assignments when I attended Saturday classes. Otherwise, the tests and writings would be locked so that I couldn’t work at home. 
        After AP and swim season, My school days had only a month left, which means I would only have 5 classes for me to work on English 9 course. Every Saturday, I worked the hardest to finish my works as soon as possible. But the course had a lot of writings and tests which I didn’t have enough time to finish all. When I reached to a D in my last class, I asked my high school counselor if this grade could affect my admission. I was told that English 9 class would be inserted into freshman year, which means it would not be included into senior year. So I didn’t get the chance to finish all my tests and writings for that class which could improve my grade. 
        Even though I got a D in English 9, I still maintained my GPA above 3.0. I ended up passing all my AP tests and scoring 4 on two tests. My Ap results indicate that I didn’t stop pursuing my academic goals.In the past two and half years, I overcame many difficulties in order to get an offer from my dream school UC Irvine. I believed that my previous academic records show how hard I worked for reaching my goal.
        I would like to urge you to consider reinstating me under my special situation of the English class. I will work the hardest to reach my academic success in UC Irvine if I get readmitted. I have dreamed of studying in UC Irvine since I first came to this country. I look forward to hearing back from the admissions office. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Can someone help me about this? I’m stressed out right now

Start with “I am requesting a reconsideration of the recision of my offer of admission to UC Irvine” (or something like that.

Should I turn this one in?

Remove the irrelevant parts , correct the typos and grammatical errors, an use paragraphs. Speak to what you will do to improve.

Is school still in session? I suggest you see your guidance counselor immediately. If the GC is on vacation, ask if the principal might be willing to intervene on your behalf.

This letter is too long. Remove the stuff about swim practice. That’s a poor excuse. Never prioritize outside actvities over academics. Forget about all the AP stuff too. Again, your prioritized other things above core requirements. Focus your letter on your mistaken belief that the ninth grade English class would not be counted as part of your senior grade… Ask if there is the possibility of taking an Intro level English course at a local community college this summer. Or maybe another acredited Online English course. Call the admissions office tomorrow afternoon at UCI and ask to speak to a rep if you can’t get hold of your school principal.

P?S? Give people a chance to answer. You only posted less than thirty minutes ago.

do I need anything else besides the letter?@jym626

Did you read my post?

@Lindagaf’s advice is good.Takeout the irrelevant stuff, perhaps look up what courses you might be able to take , even if remedial, to improve your English. What is unclear is- was this a class your freshman year of college? Are you a transfer student?

Without explaining the AP and swim stuff, will the office think that I didn’t work hard on the class since I have so many times?? Thank you!!! @Lindagaf

What was your first semester English 9 grade? Did you know that you had schedule conflict at the beginning of the year, beginning of the semester? Did you know that you did not perform well in the second semester? Did you try to take summer class to make up your grade D in English 9?

I am a high school student@jym626

THen why would they rescind your admission based on a grade they clearly saw when they admitted you, if it was from your freshman year?

I did not have conflicts because I the AP and swim take place in the second semester @coolweather

It is for my freshman year. But since I came here late, I made it up during my senior year @jym626

Go work on rewriting and cutting down your letter.

What parts should I cut? All the AP and swim stuff right? @jym626

I think you need to show UCI some plan to improve your English this summer. I believe one of the reasons UCI rescinded your admission is: you don’t have proficiency in 9 grade English, therefore you cannot take college classes.

When do classes start? Summer is rapidly winding down.

UCI classes start on September 25.