Gotta love Asian parents

Pre-College Issues High School Life
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<p>I should be studying but this thread hits right on the spot. I was born in China and immigrated here at age 7 so I think you can expect late night talks on how "you have to be a doctor or a lawyer and get into Stanford" and how "you have to bring honor to the family and attend an ivy league". My father is really stern and bascially "persuaded" me to play the piano and forced me to study multiplication tables and stuff at grade one. </p>

<p>So this continued on for the whole elementary period. Many times, my father would personally sit with me for 4 hours at the piano in order to "make your mark on the colleges". I have to admit that even though they can be annoying, asians parents are really commited. </p>

<p>Well, all that changed in grade 7. Hard times befell my family and it was hard to make ends meet sometimes (but those hour long expensive private piano lessons continued). So my dad decided to change strategies a little and read some business books including the infamous "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" series. He gave me a kids version of the book and told me to read it with an open mind which and did and generally accepted what it had to say. What I didn't expect was the changes it did to the family. Now, suddenlly, "working for someone else" is not an option anymore and business was the way to go. I was overjoyed as once again, I loved money and power (then again, who doesn't) and loved the oppertunity of business. </p>

<p>So now, I'm in the IB program with good grades and somewhat good extras. But the family atmosphere has completely changed. Leadership, confidence, and an open mind is stressed more than hours on the piano or the math grade. The future now is more important than family history and a degree from Wharton will cause my father "sleepless nights". Actually, the whole family situation is better as income has increased many fold. </p>

<p>So you see, asian parents can change. You just show them that you don't have to have a degree from Harvard in order to be successful in life. My father has changed but some evidence of the sterotypic past is still engraved, I now love playing the piano and actually enjoy classical music on a whole and have a deep desiring to go back to China and make it for the better.</p>

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<p>Well put, JM.</p>

283

<p>I was born in the U.S., lived abroad for a while, then came back for high school. I've had the chance to live in the "motherland" as well as in the United States, so I've experienced Asian parents on both sides of the sea. It actually becomes much easier to understand your parents after you've lived in their native country and culture for an extended period of time (doesn't make you agree with them any more, but you learn to give and take instead of constantly trying to get things your way).</p>

<p>I'm definitely not your typical "Asian nerd." I like Art, but I've never exactly been good at painting (which is what most Asian parents want their kids to do). I like to do sculptures, design activities (industrial, fashion, etc), fabricwork, and computer image editing. I've never really gotten into music (besides listening to it or singing in the shower) or sports. I like to write...I've had articles published, worked on a novel, have translated for a bit, and generally earn the highest marks on any writing assignment (which is usually a "White" thing at my high school). I like learning foreign languages and exploring foreign cultures, and I'm also interested in Sociology and Politics.</p>

<p>I've also worked full-time to earn my own living, and a lot of my ECs aren't typical Asian stuff (the whole academic decathlon, math club, science fairs, Key club deal). I'm more into service organizations, clubs that deal with literary and artistic pursuits, and volunteering for Asian-American orgs, art orgs, etc.</p>

<p>I've applied to all colleges as an English or Art major, and I've noticed that not many Asians apply as English majors. I hope that helps me to stand out from the crowd...not that I applied to English in order to stand out, but I wouldn't mind the added benefit. :D</p>

284

<p>I'm bored so I'm going to resurrect this thread. </p>

<p>So my mom was talking about college, and EVERYTHING she says seems to be wrong!!! I feel so uncomfortable listening to her because she's so wrong all the time. Here is a sampling:</p>

<p>"If you drop a class or get C's, then you can't even apply to UC's."</p>

<p>"USC is worse than all the UC's."</p>

<p>"If you can't get into UC's, you obviously can't get into NYU."</p>

<p>"UC Santa Barbara is a party school. All the kids there drink, smoke, party, don't study, and break things all the time." (What the hell?)</p>

<p>"The only good privates in the country (other than ivies) that you can get into are NYU, Georgetown, Carleton. Everything else sucks."</p>

<p>"Throw out all mail from bad colleges." (while pointing at mail from Claremont McKenna, Swarthmore, Lehigh, and Tufts.)</p>

<p>"Despite your best effort, you got a C in math twice, in an honors class. And you dropped into regular. You aren't even worthy of applying to UCs and therefore a failure at life, unless you get an A in the regular class."</p>

<p>"If you end up at community college, you'll be a social disgrace forever." (Um haven't you heard of transferring?)</p>

<p>"By Brown students, do you mean African American students?" (after I made a stupid lightbulb joke about Brown University.)
Do you or do you not see the ignorance of asian parents?</p>

285

<p>hahahaha.. the trick is to destroy their hopes early. My parents realized that i was just to lazy to do well in school and i guess they gave up on me? </p>

<p>Funny quotes from my mom
"SB IS WORSE THAN RIVERSIDE"
"DAVIS IS A UC?!"</p>

286

<p>i share your sentiments, ihateCA. this comes from mine:</p>

<p>"WUSTL is not even in the Times Higher EDucation Rankings, how come it costs $51k a year?"</p>

<p>"i'm sure alot of people who get into ivies did so by paying some money." (just because asians do that doesn't mean americans do that)</p>

<p>"Kenyon? i bet no one goes there. i've never heard of it!" (and when i show her the stats, including some countrymen there: "why do they want to go there? how on earth will they find jobs next time?")</p>

287

<p>ihateCA, i hate CA too. i absolutely abhor it and can't wait to get out of here.</p>

288

<p>hideANDseek,</p>

<p>Where else have you been to know that CA sucks?</p>

289

<p>i have an asian parent (japanese) and she's totally not like the typical asian parent. she wants me to stay in canada (mcgill) over the usa (penn, georgetown, northwestern, boston u) because of the cost and i'll be closer to home. not to mention safety/security. but isnt that normal for any mother? or maybe its because my dad is canadian/american (caucasian) so i've got 2 perspectives that balance each other out? anyway i dont really hear about this joy luck club syndrome in japanese circles..</p>

290

<p>


That's the greatest thing I've ever heard... :rolleyes:</p>

291

<p>There are really a lot of differences between different Asians. The stereotype applies more to Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans. I was told Korean parents are the worst (obssessed).</p>

<p>Anyway, I am Asian; I applied and picked wherever I want. My dad provided 100% of the funds with no question asked. ;)</p>

292

<p>Not really Japanese. There was a recent news article that claimed japanese students are not as concerned about their education as westerners or other asians. </p>

<p>At my university, there are MANY koreans and then some chinese/taiwanese and 1 japanese that I know of.</p>

293

<p>My parents aren't Asian, but I can kinda relate... my mom is actually the college counselor at my small high school. So basically, we thought that it would be way easier to find a college, but really, it's a lot harder: my mom wants me to go to some tiny school nobody's heard of so she can explain it to all her friends, but my dad wants me to go to an Ivy or at least a school with a name so he can tell all his friends and not NEED to explain. It's the biggest pain... I'm only a second-semester Junior and I just want to be in college already!! Sounds like you guys have a hard time, though, my parents at least never pressured me to do math (when I'm much more of a poli-sci, English, philosophy kinda girl).</p>

294

<p>Not that I think of it, there were very few Japanese students at my alma mater. So you are probably right.</p>

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<p>I think Chinese parents are the absolute worst (of course I'm biased and speaking from personal experience) when it comes to college. Chinese immigrant parents claim to know everything when it comes to colleges, but most of the time all they know are the big names (Ivies, Berkeley, UCLA...). They want their children to do something in the medical field. </p>

<p>And the thing that I can't stand the most is that they compare their children to their friends' children. They don't seem to understand how much it sucks to be compared to other people (even though you may be "better" than others). It sucks to be showcased in front of other Chinese parents, and you know that the only reason they are bragging about you is that they want people know think that because their child is smart, it reflects on the goodness and superiority of the parents, which we all know is inaccurate. </p>

<p>Huge rant.</p>

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<p>^^ True.</p>

<p>I visited my asian friend last semester during fall break and he is a senior. Every time he met his parents they yelled at him about colleges and writing more essays to his colleges and then always used me as a comparison against him "Your friend got full scholarship and got into two ivies, etc. etc. etc.". </p>

<p>Needless to say, it made me feel very uncomfortable to be compared to him everytime we met his parents (especially at the dinner table).</p>

297

<p>
[quote]
And the thing that I can't stand the most is that they compare their children to their friends' children. They don't seem to understand how much it sucks to be compared to other people (even though you may be "better" than others). It sucks to be showcased in front of other Chinese parents, and you know that the only reason they are bragging about you is that they want people know think that because their child is smart, it reflects on the goodness and superiority of the parents, which we all know is inaccurate.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>True on so many levels... This is why i completely flip whenever i hear my parents talk about my schooling to other parents. I pretty much get a small tantrum if I ever hear about them brag about my academics. I HATE IT. Especially since the only reason for my "success" in high school is because my parents royally screwed up my upbringing.</p>

298

<p>I (an asian) basically chose all my colleges, b/c my mom didn't really know anything. All she does is just pressure me to do good in school when I already am...and she screams when i get something other than an A. I explain to her that a B or C on aquiz once in a while is ok, but she doesn't understand it. it's so frustrating....
but the good thing is she gave me freedom to which schools to apply and stuff..</p>

<p>my mom doesn't brag about me, but my aunts and uncles 'constantly' compare me to my cousins to make them work better in school..which I hate. i dont feel like i deserve to be bragged..i just tried and learned that's all.</p>

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<p>I always found it funny that Asian parents would scream at their children for not being "perfect" (getting straight A's on everything, like every homework, quiz, test, course, etc, placing first in every competition, and making varsity or being star player on whatever sports team or musical group you're in) when they themselves didn't do nearly as well in school. I know hard work can get you far in life, but come on, there's only so much a person can do (especially if their gene pool didn't mean for them to be a genius)!</p>

<p>That being said, my parents didn't pressure me about which colleges to apply to (well, there was a bit of "Why not apply to Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth as well?" but not too much). Haven't said anything about how I do in school for the past 2-3 years either.</p>

300

<p>I feel so asian for getting into MIT. But my parents never pushed me to go to MIT or even apply there. And now since I got accepted, they are spreading the message really quickly and my relatives in China, Australia, Britain, etc. all know about it. I feel bad for my cousins in China since all of them are unable to have the opportunity to attend college and have to stick with farm and factory jobs. In the near future, I hope to create more colleges in China and lessen the difficulty of the exams. I know, my post is kinda off-topic. Just wanted to share my future dreams with others. =)</p>