GRADE MY ESSAY! And I'll grade back! :)

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Hopefully I didn't offend anyone here. Through I didn't really pick "offensive" examples, I just want to make sure that no harm was ever meant by me and if I did offend you, I am sorry!</p>

<p>Is compromise always the best way to resolve a conflict?</p>

<p>Compromises is probably one of the best ways to solve problems, however, most compromises never work out in the end. When people compromise, each side loses something which anger and annoy both sides. Several examples that demonstrate this belief can be found in history, politics, and personal experience.</p>

<p>To start off, the result of the Civil War was essentially a compromise between the North and the South. After the war, the North rebuilt the south and compromised a series of laws for a more "just", "democratic" world. In the time of the northern reign, this set of rules worked out. The North go the freedom for everyone reasoning, but only for a limited time. The South got back their power, but now they have to be more justified and respectful to the colored. But the minute the Northerns stepped down for the power and handed it back the the biased southerners, the compromise was essentially wiped out. Many compromises include blacks and colored could be segregated, but the facilities must be equal (a failed attempt) and colored could sit on the bus, but must give up his or hers seat when a white appeared. Thus, compromises don't work out when placed in reality.</p>

<p>Another example can be found in current politics. As many Americans are aware, Washington is trying to find middle ground between the Democrats and the Republicans. They need to find a plan to limit and lower the debt, while still maintaining the economic prosperity our country used to have before the recession. Almost everyday for the past 5 months, news agencies have been reporting the arguments and highlights of what happened that day. Many Americans are advocating a compromise and many representatives/senators agree with that idea. However, they still, to this day, have not reached a middle ground. Therefore, compromises cannot be used and placed in practical means.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by my own family, compromises are rarely reached without some sort of argument. To give one example would be exercising vs studying. Since I am a junior in high school, I have to study hard and diligently for almost all tests in all subjects. For the tuesday that this incident occurred, I was prepping for my anatomy class. It was late and I was just getting started on my last task: studying, when my father came in and abruptly announced we are going exercising! I vehemently opposed, since I'm not done with schoolwork, etc. But he, as well, vehemently said I need to go exercising whether I like it or not. We tried to compromise, but my father was obstinate and continued to insist on his way and ONLY his way, showing again how hard it is to make compromises work.</p>

<p>Compromises are good in theory when one wants to avoid arguments with another. However that case rarely ever works out. The racism compromise in the late 19th century didn't work out in a whole century (mid/late 1800s to mid/late 1900s -> Civil Rights Movement). My compromise with my dad didn't work out either. And so didn't it work out in Capitol Hill. As shown from all throughout history, government, and life, compromises are not he best way to resolve a conflict.</p>

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<p>Looking back,</p>

<p>Crap, that’s a lot in 25 minutes. O_O</p>

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<p>com’on guisesss :(</p>

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<p>I’d say you’d get about a 6 or 7, depending on how lenient your marker is.</p>

<hr>

<p>Your biggest problem is the overall incoherence of your language. Next time when you write an essay, try to think it through more logically.
For example, your first two sentences: Compromises is probably one of the best ways to solve problems, however, most compromises never work out in the end. How is making a compromise a best way to solve a problem if it hardly ever works out? You would be better off by strengthening your stand by stating: Compromises are not a good way to solve problems since they never work out in the end.</p>

<p>Also, when you write your introduction, keep your thesis in mind. Here, I assume you meant your thesis to be: Compromises are bad since they don’t work out.</p>

<p>Your first content paragraph is a mess. Firstly, please state which civil war you are talking about. Don’t assume your markers know that you’re referring to the American one just because they are American. Secondly, your language is really convoluted and after reading your paragraph, it’s hard to understand what you really mean. Let me try to comprehend what your point is.</p>

<p>Basically: The North made “compromises” with the South by instilling certain rules such as the respectful treatment of coloured people. However, after the North lost power, the South ignored the “compromise” and went back to racial discrimination. Is that right? </p>

<p>You need to show how your example exemplifies the concept of compromise. I see that the North gained something from the negotiation, but what about the South? A one-sided agreement is not a compromise. With some brushing up, your first example is pretty alright.</p>

<p>Your second point is already straying from your thesis. Your thesis states that compromises don’t work out but your second example focuses on how it is difficult to reach a compromise. Note that they are NOT the same thing. Your third example falls into the same trap. So essentially almost 2/3 of your 25 minutes were wasted on examples that don’t match your thesis and that is such a waste. </p>

<h2>Last but not least, GRAMMAR. It’s little things such as use of tenses and conjunctions that give your examiner a bad impression of your language. Mistakes like “To compromise is probably the best way to solve…” (Para 1) and “I was <em>prepping</em> preparing for my anatomy class” can be easily avoided if you bother to check. Moreover, bad grammar can obscure the meaning of your words. What exactly is “The North go the freedom for everyone reasoning, but only for a limited time”? Perhaps you meant “The North secured freedom for everyone through reasoning, but only for a limited time”. </h2>

<p>Yeah, I hope I don’t come off as overly condescending or anything. Being a beta reader on FF.net has trained me in Grammar Nazism like no other haha. </p>

<p>Good luck for your SAT!</p>

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<p>Are you serious? I thought this deserved at least a 10 or 11.</p>

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<p>The structure, grammar, and examples are all fine.</p>

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<p>[imgur:</a> the simple image sharer](<a href=“Imgur: The magic of the Internet”>Imgur: The magic of the Internet)
On the top bar just below the “imgur” button you can press “second page” to see the second page.</p>

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<p>Prompt: Is money the most significant factor in determining a person’s quality of life?</p>

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<p>On average, you would receive a 10 on this essay if you were to submit it exactly as written, your handwriting is legible, and were you to fill up the entire two pages. You might receive a 9 if you’re unlucky and 11 if you’re lucky, but on average, you will receive a 10. I have on me a personal database of more then several hundred real essays of students I have taught over the years, and as I have taken the test 6 times in the past year alone myself, I am fairly confident in my assessment. Many of the posters on this site (this is, in no way, an attack against chandelure who has given you a very thoughtful analysis of and feedback on your essay) seem to have ridiculously overexaggerated standards. Of course, it’s easy to point out all the logical inconsistencies, idiomatic errors, and grammatical mistakes when you have both the time and lack of pressure to do so for someone else’s essays. But try writing an essay in 25 minutes yourself and you’ll see that even the best of writers, when placed under enormous pressure, can easily crack under the pressure. I’ve seen a lot of good writers get 7s or 8s and a lot of terrible writers get 10s or 11s. </p>

<p>I would post essays here of other students who have received a 10 or 11 with essays of much lower quality than yours, and you’d be amazed at how ridiculously inconsistent and subjective many of the graders seem to be. But as I have already been given infractions and warnings not to post essays other than my own, I cannot do that.</p>

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<p>^Whose essay?</p>

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<p>I was referring to OP but I just looked at your essay tomatox1, and the first suggestion, I’m sorry to say, is to improve your handwriting. Poor handwriting will cause the reader to strain his or her eyes, read maybe one or two sentences, and give you a bad score. Well, perhaps I am exaggerating, but do something right away to address your handwriting so that it is legible.</p>

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<p>Can you give it a number score please? :3</p>

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<p>Okay. It’s almost 3 a.m. in the morning over here, and my brain is fried, but let me try to read this mess and ascertain what you’ve written. Perhaps there is a gem hidden somewhere within. lol</p>

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<p>Let me guess. You got a 8 or a 9 but had expected at least 10, if not 11 or 12? Or conversely, you got a 12 but expected a 7? lol</p>

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<p>Thanks for the grade guys! I appreciate the harsh criticism since it makes me want to improve some more :)</p>

<p>tomato: I thought it was pretty good! Your examples are pretty solid and the length is quite long. I probably can’t give you significant grammar rules since (as you can see with my own essay), I suck. BUt one thing I had trouble was your handwriting. The revising marks make it really hard to read in a short 2 minute time as the SAT graders might be doing. </p>

<p>But I like it! I’ll give it a 10 :)</p>

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<p>My essay was very repetitious. The examples didn’t really make any sense in retrospect and the last sentence of the conclusion was not very good. The only really nice part was the introduction, which I did write beforehand as a part of a universal template. Nonetheless, I did get a 10.</p>

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<p>You’d probably get a 10 or so, because I’m assuming most of the SAT essays are pretty awful (I mean, they’re written in 25 minutes) and this isn’t so bad…it just needs some work. </p>

<p>I have a nitpicking type of mind, and you (sort of) asked, so here’s a list of stuff that bothered me:</p>

<ol>
<li>Grammar issues, especially with subject-verb agreement. I don’t think starting with “compromises is” really helped you. </li>
<li>Run-on sentences.</li>
<li>Repeating the same word over and over. </li>
<li>Being too informal. “To start off” sounds like someone talking. It’s not something I would say in a formal essay.</li>
<li>Using words wrong. “Compromised a series of laws”…I think you mean “composed,” maybe. “Everyday” means commonplace, not “every day.”</li>
<li>Switching tenses all the time. </li>
<li>Awkward race words. In general, don’t use colors as nouns.</li>
<li>Not enough sentences in the first paragraph. Not that you should count sentences, but the introduction was insufficient. </li>
<li>Contractions.</li>
<li>Broad generalizations. You can’t give one example and say it means no compromise works out in reality.</li>
<li>Random use of first person. </li>
<li>Slashes when you should say “and.” “Vs” is also pretty informal, even if you write out “versus.”</li>
<li>Putting 5 instead of “five.”</li>
</ol>

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<p>Thanks! Much appreciated!</p>

<p>One question, on the universal template from “how to score 12 in 10 days”, it said your intro can be short. In fact, in his example, it was only 2! So I guess that rule needs to be tweeked?</p>

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<p>^
How much you can fit into your sentences probably matters more than the number of sentences you use. But it can be hard to be detailed enough in only two sentences.</p>

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<p>Cool! Thanks for everything! I really appreciate it.</p>

<p>If you don’t mind, can you grade my newest essay? Hopefully the problems mentioned above is resolved: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1463119-grade-my-essay-ill-grade-back-post-link.html#post15504322[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1463119-grade-my-essay-ill-grade-back-post-link.html#post15504322&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;