<p>I would love some help with my SAT essays since I can't afford the fancy tutors to proof read them and grade them. </p>
<p>Topic: Is compromise the best way to deal with a problem? </p>
<p>"Let's compromise". That phrase has been said by almost everyone at some point in his or her life. Generally, we think that compromise is the best way to end an argument, both parties win some and lose some. But compromise, though a nice idea, has a record of failure too large to ignore. Compromise only leads to more conflict later on and therefore is a terrible way to end an arguement. </p>
<p>In the mid-1930s, Adolf Hitler was out to take over the world. The League of nations believed that a dictator like Hitler could be stopped with a compromise. In a policy that became known as "appeasement", the League gave Czechkoslovakia to Hitler in exchange for his "promise" not to invade anymore nations. Hitler, being the ruthless tyrant that he was, went back in his promise and invaded Poland in 1939 all the while torturing Czech citizens. Compromise only delayed World War 2 and raised its stakes. </p>
<p>The failure of compromise is not an isolated incident. A Newsweek study also confirms that compromise is not the way to deal with a pressing issue. A group of toddlers were studied over the course of several years. Those with parents who "compromised" on issues; for example, they let kids eat ice cream before dinner if the kids promised to eat their vegetables, only demanded more and more as the years went on. The kids with firm "no compromise" parents ended up being much more well behaved then their "compromise" counterparts. Compromising led to poor behavior and problems in the future. </p>
<p>The only way to truly solve an argument is by firm decision. In ante-bellum America, many compromises were thought up in order to contain slavery to the South. For example, the Compromise of 1820 set the 36th parallel as the "slave line" below which slavery was legal. But Congress became imbalanced toward the North and the Compromise of 1850 allowed new states to choose their slave status by popular vote. By 1860, the South declared that they would suceed if Lincoln became president. Lincoln was elected and it took the Civil War to end the conflict over slavery. The compromises couldn't hold the country together. </p>
<p>All throughout history, we have been the victims of bad compromises. From ruthless dictators to greedy toddlers, life is full of situations that need to be decided firmly. Compromise simply cannot solve all problems, but it can sometimes aggravate the conflict further. </p>
<p>Please score and tell me where I can improve.</p>
<p>Maybe 8-10. Very nebulous examples and trite sentence structure. However, good examples and good to start with a quote. Maybe add more varied vocabulary and quote a larger variety of sources I.e literature. Overall, quite good :)</p>
<p>Hmm good idea about the literature. Instead of a second history example, I probably will make up a book or a personal experience to vary it up a little. Any advice on words that I should use to spice up my essay? Like several words that are sure to help me on any essay.</p>
<p>Your essay reads very much like it has been written, rewritten and polished multiple times – hardly the quick 25 minute draft that the SAT requires. It’s pointless to score such an essay.</p>
<p>Hmm, in this context, words would mostly be of negative connotation.
Maybe detrimental, negotiation (do not constantly use the same word i.e compromise), conventionally? there are also a number of awkward grammatical expressions i.e a record of failure too large to ignore?</p>
<p>That phrase has been said by…Not a strong choice of diction. At least find a stronger verb than ‘said’… try ‘offered’, ‘uttered’ or ‘That solution has been suggested by’…</p>
<p>argument; both parties, then/than, secede, went back on his promise, </p>
<p>A nice mix of sentence structures; some simple and direct, others more complex to express more complex ideas. Paragraphing was clear and the flow of ideas smooth.</p>
<p>The two examples from history are both appropriate and are used to illustrate two separate ideas: compromise only delays inevitable and raises stakes and arguments are decided by firm decisions. Still, either example could have illustrated both points. Ordinarily I would recommend avoiding Hitler as an example. It is overused. There are many others possible.</p>
<p>The scientific study was appropriate, added another significant idea to your argument and was efficiently presented.</p>
<p>I would score this essay a 5. The primary reason I would not score a 6 are that your analysis of the topic stopped before you dealt with a major implication of your thesis. To say that arguments must be settled by “firm decision” naturally raises the issues of the use of force and who might be the authority to make that decision. (Hitler made firm decisions.) Having used two examples to make points that could have been established by a more thorough analysis of either one, you lost the opportunity to dive more deeply into your analysis.</p>
<p>The considerable effort that scorers make to the contrary notwithstanding, it is clear that scoring a SAT essay is still a somewhat subjective process. That said, I could see this essay scoring 10 - 11.</p>
<p>Thanks Fogcity! I am really glad that my essay sounds like it’s been polished. I noticed some spelling mistakes from copying it onto the message boards, but I left them in there. Glad to know something I wrote in 25 minutes sounds like I spent time on it </p>
<p>Too bad you won’t grade it though. But thanks for reading anyway.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for you help wood5440. I can see how graders would be tired of reading about Hitler over and over again so I will try to stay away from it next time. Might give the readers something fresh to read about and they might score me favorably.</p>
<p>And I will look out for making a simpler to prove thesis so I don’t make any implications I have no time to prove. Thanks very much.</p>
<p>10-11
I say that because your essay is not quite grand enough or unique enough to ensure
unanimity of an estimation of excellence if you get my drift</p>
<p>Please don’t think I was suggesting you keep your analysis simple so that you don’t bring up issues that you don’t have time to explore. Having a deep analysis, more or less, is a flat out requirement for a 6 essay. I would suggest that if you raise issues that you can’t develop in detail, it would be far better to mention them briefly than to delete them from the essay. Your conclusion would be an excellent place to do that. Note how briefly four major ideas can be mentioned and tied to your thesis:</p>
<p>Of course, to say that arguments must be settled by “firm decision” naturally raises the issues of the use of force and who might have the authority to make final decisions. The reality is that power is the ultimate arbiter in disputes, and good people who refuse to compromise are most often the ones to acquire it.</p>
<p>Had you tacked something like this to the end of your conclusion, your essay would likely have scored a 12. The reason is that your conclusion would have what I call ‘information density’, which means lots of significant ideas and facts in few words. (Something your essay already did moderately well.)</p>
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