Grade my Essay Please

<p>Topic:
"Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one's thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse"</p>

<p>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay...</p>

<p>Essay:
People should make an effort to keep things private. Using examples from literature and my life this point can be proved.</p>

<pre><code> In the Scarlet Letter Roger Chillingworth keeps his identity private from the public. Chillingworth's goal was to take revenge on the man who slept with his wife Hester Prynne. Chillingworth's identity was a secret, so he successfully maintained his goal in life, which was to take revenge. This shows that privacy is important for a person to accomplish his or her goals, otherwise there will be other factors that prevent the goal from being accomplished. Later when Hester reveals the identity of Chillingworth, he is removed from the company of Hester's companion. Thus, he is prevented from achieving his goal.

1984 is another book that expresses the idea of keeping things private is important. Winston is an independent thinker in 1984, which is set in a society that is forced to conform. Winston keeps his rebellious thoughts secret during the beginning of the book. In this society everyone is monitored by cameras at all times. Thus, keeping unfavorable things to yourself is essential for survival. During the beginning he is surviving in the society. This shows his privacy is helping him live. However later on in the book, he starts expressing his rebellious attitudes by having sexual relations with a person he is not married to for the sake of rebellion. Winston is expressing his private ideas, which eventually causes his downfall. The thought police find out about this and Winston is captured and tortured. If he had made more of an effort to keep these things to himself he would have survived.

In my own life, keeping things private is important. I usually keep my grades secret from my parents as long as possible. Whenever I have bad grades I stress out a lot without any outside pressure. When my parents learn of my grades they exponentially increase my stress. When I kept my grades to myself I have just enough stress and pressure to get all my grades up to A's by the end of the semester. However, the added pressure from my parents negatively impacts my grades because of overstressing. This shows that keeping my grades private helps me improve them. However, if my grades were not private I was negatively influenced.

The Scarlet Letter, 1984, and my own personal experiences indeed show that privacy is important. Without it characters and I are hurt more than we are helped.
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<p>Any advice to improve is appreciated.</p>

<p>you went right into an example instead of having an introduction… oh wow i just saw it now, i would expand upon the intro like 1 sentence more. Do not go crazy, it just has to be sentences but i think yours is too brief</p>

<p>What else should I add? I always have trouble with the intro.</p>

<p>I usually do something along the lines of a topic sentence, present the view I’m not arguing then present the view I am indeed arguing, then state my thesis. Just quick and to the point.</p>

<p>the essay was fabulous and you had good examples too but one thing you should remember is when you want to start an essay,the first step is to pick sides,YES or NO,not MAYBE and then you write why you picked that side before you start your examples.But good job,i havent written the SAT too but i’m writing this december.good luck!!!</p>