grade my essay please!

<p>Topic: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<pre><code> Knowledge gives people wisdom and brings innovation. At the most basic level, knowledge seems to always be beneficial. However, sometimes knowledge can be a burden rather than benefit.

When we know things that we could not afford to improve or change, this knowledge can be a burden. In Thailand, the political situation has been chaotic. Two groups of mobs, the Reds and the Yellows, have been attacking each other because of disagreement that which political party should be a government. This chaos has bad effects on the economy as investors are scared that their businesses could tampered or stopped because of chaos. Even though we know that there is chaos going on, we could not make a change. This knowledge, in turn, tends to cause people headache and worry so that they could not focus on their work. But if we, people, did not pay attention to know it, we can be stress-free and can focus on work to the fullest.

Knowledge about bad things of others that they do not want anyone to know can be harmful we know it. In Agatha Christie's novel, Murder of Roger Ackroyd, is a good example. Roger Ackroyd once happened to know the evil secret of his wife that she poisoned her ex-husband and her clandestine deal with drugs gangsters. This knowledge caused him his life; he was murdered. If he were innocent, he could live on happily.

From the evidence of politics and literature, knowledge can be a burden rather than a benefit. At best, one should only know things that are helpful or that one could afford to make a better change. Knowing what you have to prepare for SAT, for instance, likely ensures your entrance to your dream school.
</code></pre>

<p>4/6 …</p>

<p>I see a lot of grading responses ignoring grammar and English usage - this is not the TOEFL and they will not allow for such errors. 7 out of 12 at best.</p>

<p>I would say to start by rewriting this into better English with someone who has more experience in English. The sentences: "In Agatha Christie’s novel, Murder of Roger Ackroyd, is a good example. Roger Ackroyd once happened to know the evil secret of his wife that she poisoned her ex-husband and her clandestine deal with drugs gangsters. " in particular are not good English at all, and do not make sense.</p>

<p>On second thought, I’m downgrading that to 3/6</p>