Please, rate my essay from 2-12

Prompt : Prompt : Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?

Knowledge can never be a burden. Acquiring knowledge is the very purpose of humanbeings. People spend their entire lifetime acquiring knowledge. The very idea of knowledge seeming like a burden must be exterminated as it questions the very reason as to why humans were given the ability to think.People might debate over the fact that many people choose a career different than what they’ve attained knowledge of. But the fact is that History remembers those who seeked knowledge, embraced it with open arms; Not those who were petrified of being burdened with it.
A perfect example for this might be the story of Neeraj Bhagat, an electrical engineer who saved countless lives by succesfully landing a boeing 707. Neeraj, in his earlier days took a course in aeronotics and aviation, even though he did not aim to be a pilot. His skills turned out to be the kinest when the pilot of a flight from Delhi to Mumbai suffered from a heart attack. Neeraj used his knowledge and successfully landed the plane, saving 200 lives.
Knowledge is not just about facts and equations, it is the ability to seek things using logic.The whole world is a museum filled with the knowledge that humans have achieved till now.In conclusion, every prudent decision, every single step that humanity takes forward is due to the prior knowledge it has attained. Knowledge can therefore, never be a burden.

SAT graders look for length and originality. If you want a higher score ramble more rather than being so fastidious you barely write anything. TBH this probably would receive a 6 or 7

@lakshayk I can think of at least a few examples where knowledge is a burden. That said, I suggest picking whichever side of the argument is easier to back up with examples, regardless of what your actual opinion might be (similar to finding a counterexample in mathematics - often easier to search for those first before proving the opposite statement).

As j6ma9l said, length counts, and there is a good correlation between essay length and score. But this doesn’t mean “fill the two pages with mumbo-jumbo with stuff that makes absolutely no sense.”

Grammar and spelling could use some work as well. If English is not your first language, I can definitely understand. Here are some corrections:

“Human beings” is two words
Sought knowledge
“History” is often not capitalized
“Boeing” is capitalized (as it is the name of a company)
“Aeronautics”
“Kindest” (?)
“…Knowledge that humans have achieved till now” <-- not sure if “achieved” fits there

Thank you for helping out guys. I’ll try improving the length and the grammatical errors.

Write more than you think you need to. Expand more on every sentence!

I wrote this one just now. Could you guys rate this?

Prompt : Is there always another explanation or another point of view?

Just like there are numerous ways to approach a mathematical problem, there are numerous explanations for everything. Humans have the ability to think and comprehend, which give them the power to question and find different ways. Each and every person on Earth is different and therefore has a different point of view or explanation for a problem. The best example to prove that there is always another explanation is the discovery of the atom.

Centuries ago, Hindu mythologists proposed an idea of a single entity which is the basic building block of everything. Not until years later did the nobel laureate JJ Thomson discover that this entity resembles a pudding with positive and negative charges embedded in it. A few years later, another theory by Neils Bohr disproved Thomson’s theory and proved that negative charge flows outside a spherical entity. After years of debacle, Ernst Rutherford disproved Bohr’s theory. These series of events, like many other in history show that there are always other explanations and it is our role as humans to seek new and better explanations for problems.

Another example that shows there will always be different point of views is religion. The very fact that some people choose to believe in immortals while some believe in a messiah proves that as long as human minds differ, different views will always be prevalent.

If there were just a few explanations, society as we know it would be stagnant. The basic tendency of humans to seek knowledge, if confined to a similar set of views can have adverse effects. Which is why we humans have inculcated our society through various different explanations and views.

As long as humans have the ability to think, we will always find different explanations.

@lakshayk much better effort 8.5/12 IMHO…depends on the mood of the grader but either an 8 or 9 is likely for this kind of response. I suspect an 8 is more likely than a 9 but both scores are within reach

I think this is more like a 6. There are many grammatical errors and there’s only one short-medium supporting paragraph. Plenty of examples of poor word choice too. Sorry, but I’d be very surprised to see this essay get a 9.

The first one would probably be a 6…
You definitely have some great ideas and address the prompt generally properly, but you lack cohesiveness and don’t vary sentence structure (and length) that much.

Regarding the second essay, wow, it doesn’t appear to be the same writer (much better), but still I believe you wouldn’t go much farther from a 7 (maybe a 7).

Structure definitely got better, but still your second example lacks development. Also, try not to introduce examples using generic (and terrible, honestly) sentence structure like “The best example that X is true…” or “Another example…”. We know it is an example,

Good essays flow, soar and are read softly and gently. Ideas are introduced smoothly, and the first group of sentences should always try to get the reader hooked. Your essays lack those things, generally speaking. PM me if you need any further help!