Grade my essay please!!!

<p>Hi all, I would really appreciate anyone grading my essay! I really need feedback!!</p>

<p>Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences?</p>

<p>Good choices and bad choices have equal probability to lead to detrimental consequences. Even though there is a plethora of bad choices causing negative consequences, shrewd choices can easily backfire and have the same result. Several examples from history and literature clearly illustrate that both perspicacious and inane decisions are equally likely to produce negative results. </p>

<p>In the 1920s when America had won World War I, the American citizens started to invest in bonds on Wall Street, which was a very good decision since the economy of the US was burgeoning. Nevertheless, in 1929, The Great Crash happened and millions of people not only lost their investments, but also had to pay immense loans because of trading on margin. As an inevitable result, the good decision to invest caused a majority of people to become destitute and homeless. Had it not been for that choice, investors would not have lost all their money and assets. Moreover, not only individuals collapsed financially, but the entire American economic development plummeted and the only reason was the choice to invest. </p>

<p>In his play Macbeth, Shakespeare demonstrates the bad consequences bad choices can have. Macbeth, a Scottish general, learns from some witches that he will become the king. As a result, Macbeth chooses to kil the current king and becomes the new one. However, Macbeth and his wife get phsychologically ill and start killing everyone they think is dangerous. Consequently, a group of rebels gets into the palace, kills Macbeth and his wife, and overtakes the throne. The play shows that the stupid choice of Macbeth to kill the king led to the demise of thousands. In addition, in the end, as a result of his choice to kill, Macbeth is also killed by his previous supporters. Therefore, bad choices cause pernicious consequences. </p>

<p>In the novel from George Orwell, 1984, Winston chooses to rebel against the omnipotent Party. Against the Party's rules, Winston has a diary and, furthermore, gets into a sexual relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, when the Secret Police understands, Winston is captured, tortured, and brainwashed. Therefore, as a result of a bad choice, one can have to endure tremendous physical and mental pain. Had it not been for his choice, Winston would not have been brainwashed and physically disabled. </p>

<p>After a careful analysis of The Great Crash, Macbeth, and 1984, one can understand that bad choices and good choices are indeed equally likely to produce negative consequences. Our world is such that not everything leads to the logical and expected results. </p>

<p>So, what do you think?</p>

<p>The overall essay is good, but the grammatically errors weigh it down. I would give this essay a solid 10. </p>

<p>Its mostly errors with wordiness and awkward sentence structure. </p>

<p>Even though there is a plethora of bad choices causing negative consequences, shrewd choices can easily backfire and have the same result.</p>

<p>It would be better to say that cause negative results.</p>

<p>That repeats a few times throughout the essay.</p>

<p>@sat12341234 thank you a lot for your help! I guess I make those grammatical mistakes because of the limited time and also because I am not a native speaker. </p>

<p>Other than that, if the grammatical errors did not exist, what would the score be? My aim is to improve my paragraph structure, examples, and analysis and that is why I am interested in your opinion.</p>

<p>I would think it would be a 11 if your grammar was better and the analysis was slightly more in depth.</p>

<p>Good choices and bad choices do not have equal probability. Sorry, I couldn’t read much after sentence one.</p>

<p>I appreciate your help sat 12341234! </p>

<p>Anyone else share an opinion?</p>