Grade my essay

<p>Hi. Here's the essay I just wrote. It may be a bit long, but that's because I exceeded the time limit significantly (time is the greatest problem I have to face when writing an essay). If you could leave a comment or suggestion, it'd be greatly appreciated.</p>

<p>Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today?</p>

<p>It is creativity that has gotten us so far. Many of the technological advances that we take for granted nowadays are a direct result of innovative thinking. Creativity is what has transformed hardly known companies into technological giants. And in a world where ecological issues are becoming a greater problem each day, creativity is a skill, which could prove to be essential for our survival.</p>

<p>Competition is one of the main factors companies must take into account when releasing a new product. If they release a product similar to the one of competitors, they won’t get very far. Therefore, one of the most immense and challenging problems a firm has to face is how to make their product stand out. They will hardly achieve any success if they forget the chief ingredient required, namely creativity.</p>

<p>Thinking outside the box is what turned Apple into the world’s largest company. Steve Jobs relied on creative thinking and technical innovations to push the company up the ladder of success and gain the reputation of one of the greatest businesspersons of all time. The iPhone, which is mostly the result of the great novelty and genius of a single person, has turned out to be a great success. It has alleviated our fear of technology and the headaches that usually come with it and shown us how a single device can change our lives. The iPhone was preferable over its competitors because it offered a brand new unprecedented experience, and introduced a multitude of new features, while remaining easy to use. Creativity drove Apple forward and enriched our lives as well. This is why the unfortunate death of Steve Jobs and his priceless creative thinking is a great loss not only to Apple, but also to humankind as a whole. </p>

<p>In addition to being a great value to business entities, innovation is of great demand when it comes to science. The need for breakthroughs in different areas of study, calls for bright minds who can provide simple solutions to subtle problems. The various ecological hardships, specifically global warming, can only be solved by careful conservation of resources. “Green” ideas, which are able to minimize the harmful human induced effects on the planet, are desperately needed. Although, a lot of effort is being done by many persons and firms, e.g., the production of fluorescent light bulbs and electric cars, the future of our world is still uncertain, and that’s why today, more than ever, creativity is needed. The perfect solutions won’t readily come to us and that’s why we need to get on our feet and start thinking.</p>

<p>It turns out that creativity, the greatest gift of human intelligence, is constantly sought after, especially by those hoping to maximize their profits. Moreover, solutions to a wide variety of problems are yet to be found, and ingenious ideas, which can be put into practice, are invaluable. Especially with the numerous environmental problems the world is facing, creativity is of utmost importance to our future.</p>

<p>As it stands, this essay would be more like a 8 because although the length is more than enough, the way you develop your examples and how you use it to actually answer the question is not strong enough for a 10~12. Here are some suggestions and comments:</p>

<p>Intro: Very good.</p>

<p>1st Paragraph: This one is weakest in linking back to the question. You focus on competition but you need to step back and ask, now how does this competition idea answer the question of whether we need creativity today? yes, it’s true that creativity is good for competition, but that’s slightly off topic.</p>

<p>2nd paragraph: Better! So now you’re saying creativity is NEEDED to make companies successful. Now, my point here would be, then, why “today”? I know i’m being nit picky, but it would have made it a much better paragraph if you could add that context as well.</p>

<p>3rd paragraph: With a bit more work, this is the best in terms of linking and relevance. It answers every aspect of the question. creativity is needed for science advancement, AND it’s needed TODAY because of the current environmental problems we face. </p>

<p>If you can change the first and second paragraph to be an example more like the 3rd, then it would def be 10~12 in terms of content and development. stylistically you want a bit more SAT vocab in there and less colloquial expressions.</p>

<p>“they won’t get very far” is a bit colloquial so it’s better to avoid that kind of expression in your essay. Also things like “it turns out…” that’s also a bit colloquial as well.</p>

<p>PM me if you want a link that’s got a great breakdown of the essay.</p>

<p>Thank you for your useful suggestions!</p>