Grade my SAT essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>Here's an SAT essay that took up almost all of the space given. Can someone (or preferably multiple people) grade it? Just look for 2-3 minutes:</p>

<hr>

<p>Prompt:
"Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority, is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge- even if they are experts or leaders in their fields–makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct older errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.</p>

<p>Assignment:
Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority> Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken fro your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<hr>

<p>Actual Writing:</p>

<p>Throughout time, the information of the old has been phased out and replaced b information of the new. It is absolutely essential that authoritative views be challenged to ensure the progress of society. These challenges allow changes in corrupt religious figures, more accurate scientific knowledge, and finally a government that helps the people rather than itself. </p>

<p>A primary example of the beneficial challenge of authority is the Reformation, occurring in the 10th century. Martin Luther nailed his 99 theses to a door, attacking an immensely powerful and extremely corrupt body, the Catholic Church. The decisions of the church included accepting bribes for positions, laundering money, and selectively avoiding punishment of the wealthy. Had not Martin Luther condemned these ideas, the Church would have continued its practices, much to the detriment of the European people. Due to this publicity, the Church reforms itself ad better served its purpose: The preservation of moral values.</p>

<p>Secondly, a simpler example of a challenge of authority is Albert Einstein's theory of relativity. His wrk led to much modern scientific knowledge, a benefit that would not have existed without the original idea that scientific "facts" aren't necessarily completely correct. N his theory, there was a fixed maximum velocity, bodies motions did not occur in a fixed grid, and time was not constant. This was in clear contradiction with established scientific authority. Through his challenge, Einstein improved gravitational predictions and most measurement of time.</p>

<p>Finally, a defiant challenge of the United States' Vietman War Policy led to a more accountable and more open government. Various protestors voiced their opposition to the War, indicating that the war was not at all necessary. This view turned out to be correct, as the War achieved nothing but death and loss for everyone involved. Without this challenge, the government may have fought even more and caused more casualties.</p>

<p>Thus by the challenge of authority, society improves and grows. Leadership is more effective and "facts" become more accurate. Scientific, religious, and political change is abound. We may still be cavemen is it weren't for these people. </p>

<hr>

<p>I'm just typing this over and it already looks horrible– but with 25 minutes, what can you do?</p>

2

<p>I would say 10-11. Some advice - if you fill up all of the lines available on the actual test, you’re pretty much guaranteed an 11 or 12. The first two times I took the SAT, I wrote what I thought were clear, concise and well-thought out essays and I got a 9 both times because my essay was barely over a page. The third time I simply started writing as soon as the timer started. IMO, a lot of didn’t really make sense and it wasn’t very well organized, but I filled up the entire space, so I got an 11.</p>

3

<p>^^Haha wow that really happened?! Lucky you!
Usually a higher score is given to the essays that are longer than most but if you can write your thesis and sufficiently support it with good examples in a compact essay, you should still get a high score. Also sometimes the longer essay might just be a bunch of fluff with no real major point followed by sufficient support and so even though you might right more, the essay might be given a lower score.
It depends on your scorer but I would say you were either very lucky with your last essay or you did not know you are a superb writer when you just let your thoughts flow… because there are people who can write better essays when they don’t plan things out but just release their ideas onto the pages provided.</p>

4

<p>I’ll give you a 10 on this one. Fill up every single line and write with a simpler language (but with a richer vocabulary). Reading through your essay, I didn’t pick up your thesis very well, so you might want to consider highlighting it, aka. make it more noticable. </p>

<p>For your reference, Martin Luther was not a 10th century dude. Rather the 15th-16th, while you can’t be penalized for factual errors, such obvious ones can turn off your readers. As SAT essay readers only get to read your essay once and will spend about 2-3 minutes reading it, you don’t want to give them a bad impression.</p>