Grade my SAT essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>I believe this essay topic is taken from the October 2009 SAT. Please let me know how I did on a scale of 1-12. Any Feedback and advice on how to improve would be greatly appreciated. <em>I'm copying my essay verbatim so there will probably be a few grammatical errors</em></p>

<p>Good news is, for the most part, no news. It is not sufficiently compelling or important to make leading stories and front pages in the media, certainly not as often as bad news. Bad news sells, or so it seems from the books, newspapers, and television reports that fill our lives. But in this endless focus on the bad, the media present a distorted view of the world.</p>

<p>Adapted from Richard B. McKenzie, The Paradox of Progress: Can Americans Regain Their Confidence in a Prosperous Future?</p>

<p>Assignment: Do books, newspapers, and other media focus too much on bad news?</p>

<pre><code> Fear is a driving force that galvanizes people to action. Fear is applied consummately by books, newspaper, and other media in the form of bad news. However, it is this bad news that causes people to take action. Examples of how bad news has been used to stir people and how good news has created pandemonium can be seen in environmental issues and the Vietnam War.

Since the mid-20th century, the environmental movement has come a long way in terms of its success. This success, however, has been based off threats, and imminent disasters. For example, in the '90s Al Gore said that "the current state of the environment is a far greater threat to the earth than nuclear war." This morbid statement, despite having dubious validity, has caused people to start recycling, conserving energy, and carpooling to work. All because of a fear of imminent disaster.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, displaying "good news" has often had disastrous results. One example is how the media falsified accounts of the Vietnam War to make it seem like America was winning. Unfortunately, this was not the case and several Americans were losing their lives. When the truth finally came out there was pandemonium and this eventually led to LBJ refusing to run for another term in office. This is just one such case where "good news" has produced a bad outcome.

Another reason why the media focuses on bad news is to promote survival. With the increasing epidemic of cancer and other diseases in the U.S. people are constantly worrying about their own lives and health. They depend on the media to disemminate this type of morbid information so they can prepare for the worst. As can be seen, delivering bad news can play an essential role in survival.

Ultimately, delivering bad news is important because it drives people to take beneficial action and helps them prepare for the worst, thus promoting survival.
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<p>Hi.
Could you please post what the assignment was here?^ It’s kinda hard to grade an essay if you’re not aware of what the question is. </p>

<p>Also, can you please this essay of mine? It’s my first essay while preparing for the SATs:</p>

<p>"Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below:</p>

<p>Modern ethics is suspicious of those who serve only their own self-interest and instead praises the selfless among us for their dedication to the greater good. However, this distinction is less clear in the context of a capitalized society where each individual citizen is responsible for his own welfare, and cannot rely on society to help him in times of need. Indeed, one must sometimes act in selfish ways to survive.
(Adapted from C. S. Parker, “No Big Macs in the Kalahari”)</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it better to focus on your own good or that of others? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences and observations."</p>

<hr>

<p>No act is selfless and performed without gratification. Cognizant of the above stated fact, it can be said that being selfish and working towards your good is better than ignoring own desires at all. This can be best illustrated by the example of Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of the hit social media site Facebook.
When six-foot-five-inch tall athletic identical twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss approached Zuckerberg to abet them with a website about parties and nightclubs, they weren’t aware that they had unintentionally given Mark Zuckerberg his golden ticket. And Zuckerberg, self-seeking as he was, grabbed this opportunity to turn this simple idea into a worldwide success. By Harvard’s and general ethical standards it was wrong of him to steal an idea or invention of a fellow student, but he did what he selfishly found beneficial, and the product baby of this selfish act we are able to see everywhere we go.
Similarly, the act of looking after one’s self comes in handy for young people all the time. Take peer pressure for instance. The kids who are ignorant to the spoiled habits of their age groups end up being in a better state and having a finer relationship at home. By detaching themselves from the foul preferences of their peer groups, these young people act selfishly and without a thought regarding what their callow friends might think of them. It ameliorates their standing as a person and strengthens their focus on what they ought to be doing with their lives at this young age.
Living life selflessly is not only austere but completely visionary. One can’t simply separate the wants and cravings that come attached with the soul, from the urge to be selfless and thoughtful of others. In comparison to thinking of others over own self, it is always best to be self-focused because if you stop even to think of others’ benefit, you get crushed by the feet of those for whom you halted in the first place.</p>

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<p>the question along with the assignment is posted just read the first few paragraphs</p>

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<p>Yes, right. Sorry.
I really like your essay now that I actually did read it. :stuck_out_tongue:
But what i came to was that you focused too much on ‘why’ the media and press focus on bad news more, and what the outcome of that is. The question asks ‘do’ they do that.
Overall, and ignoring the part where you misjudged the question…I’d give you a 5 out of 6. Great work! (Y)</p>