SAT Essay

Test Preparation
1

<p>I wrote this, please give feedback and how I can improve. I feel like some parts of my 3rd paragraph could have been omitted. What would you grade this essay? I couldn't quite understand how to conclude this essay, any opinions?</p>

<p>It is apparent that books, newspapers, and other media focus far too much on bad news. Several examples from current events and literature prove this increased trend of negativity.</p>

<p>A prime example of this increased negativity can be shown on the news. Flip to any news station, or to any page in the newspaper, many of the stories are more focused on negative aspects. Very rarely will you hear about the man who saved a cat or the woman who gave money to the starving man. Today, you will see news focused far too much on negative stories, such as homicides, war, and civil unrest. Did you hear about the boy who saved his baby brother’s life? No, the only story the news was focused on was a comedian’s suicide.</p>

<p>We can also turn to literature as another example of this negative look. Several books, such as the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas, focus on “bad” news. A young man is accused by a group of three people and sent to jail for his alleged wrongdoing. He spends years in prison when he meets an elderly man who tells him about a treasure hidden on the Isle of Monte Cristo. The young man then escapes prison and finds this enormous fortune. It sounds like a story where everyone can live happily ever after, but this is unfortunately not true. This young man, who names himself the Count of Monte Cristo, exacts his slow, painful revenge on the three people who accused him. He spends years planning on how to get payment for those years he spent in prison. In the end, he causes one man to go insane, bankrupts the second man, and kills the third man. This entire novel was focused on this man’s hatred for his enemies and his plot to get payment for their wrongdoing. The Count of Monte Cristo has a monumental fortune, however the plot is based around getting payment for something that happened years ago. Negativity is clearly evident in this novel.</p>

<p>After careful analysis of current events and The Count of Monte Cristo, it can be shown that books, newspapers, and media focus far too much on bad news. </p>

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<p>@Woandering‌ :)</p>

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<p>Oops, forgot the topic: Do books, newspapers, and other media focus too much on bad news?</p>

4

<p>Well, first, I feel like this is a bad topic, and kudos to you for attempting it in such a way.</p>

<p>That said, I must say, unfortunately, that this essay is more bad than good. Again, I believe much of that can be attributed to such a hard topic.</p>

<p>First, I would encourage a longer introduction, especially if you have only two examples. You will need to make sure to fill the entire two pages given to you by the SAT, for the best score.</p>

<p>The first body paragraph is very hypothetical. Remember you could make something like that a little stronger by including yourself in the story, and make it a personal example. Such as “Once, my history teacher set us the assignment of finding an interesting current event to share with the class. When I settled to do the assignment, I realized the news was full of horrible negativity. What stood out to me was…(bad event).” You could also made a comparison to a smaller positive event, and emphasize that the majority of the focus is on the negative.</p>

<p>The second example has very little to do with the topic. True there is a negative media, but the plot of the story has nothing to do with the topic. </p>

<p>What’s rather noticeable through this particular essay is the use of passive voice. Passive voice is phrasing a sentence like “After careful analysis of current events and The Count of Monte Cristo, it can be shown that books, newspapers, and media focus far too much on bad news.” whereas active voice would be "careful analysis of current events and The Count of Monte Cristo shows that books, newspapers, and media focus far too much on bad news.</p>

<p>I sympathize with you on this one. It is very hard to think of good examples for this topic. If anyone else could please participate, and suggest examples for all of us to keep in mind if we see such a topic, it would be lovely (and sorry about my passive voice here).</p>

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<p>@Woandering‌, I googled topics and chose the first one that popped up. The Count of Monte Cristo example was really bad, but I could’t really think about anything else. Should I avoid passive voice? How could I add more to the introduction?</p>

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<p>Definitely avoid passive voice, if possible. </p>

<p>Add more to the introduction by using a hook such as the counterargument. </p>

<p>Did you get this example from a previous SAT?</p>

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<p>I think it was a 2009 essay I used. Not too sure. Can you explain the counterargument hook?</p>